brave4me Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 Hubby & I separated for almost 3 months. There is another female involved, someone he met at work. He changed so drastically after we separated, as if I don't even know him anymore. Please tell me if these relationships (affairs) last, or what to do, expect, or how to cope. He would rather have no contact with me, and he keeps his personal life very very secretive. His entire family and friends have shunned me completely, yet I'm not the one being unfaithful. He has turned his back on his christianity, our church, and avoids our church friends and pastor. What is going on? Guys, can you help me understand what goes on in a man's head? Can another girl influence him that much?????????
StartingAgain Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 You don't say why you separated. Was it because of this OM? Here's the sad truth, my dear. As long as he is involved with this woman, you cannot win his heart back. It's impossible. Right now, he only has eyes for her. I know this hurts (I've been there), but that's the reality. Affairs generally last from six months to a year. Nearly all of them eventually fail, since they are based on lies. You say he completely changed after he left. Or did he? Maybe the man you married is no who you think he is. Maybe your relationship was a lie. BTW, which heart are you going to try to win back? The one you thought you knew or this new one; the one you don't know? Of course his family and friends have shunned you. Blood is thicker than water. This always happens when a couple breaks up. Hurts, doesn't it? He avoids your pastor and friends because he knows he's doing wrong and doesn't want to face them. This is called cowardice. If all it took for him to turn his back on Christianity was a chippie from the office, his faith was never real in the first place. He's a "just for show" Christian. Think he may have been playing the role of Christian because you are a Christian and it was the only way to win you over? You need to start thinking differently about your situation.
Author brave4me Posted June 20, 2004 Author Posted June 20, 2004 Thanks for your response. Tried to send you a message but it looks as though it failed. Your advice is good, and the truth really isn't anything I already suspected. I was hoping to be wrong, of get different opionions, but we'll see. What up with you and your situation?
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