USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Tell that to Elswyth. She thinks everybody in Cali is hot. Well, you're in California. See what I did there...? ::internet high-five!!:: 1
Author somedude81 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 It's odd. I'm definitely disappointed but I'm not hurt. Thankfully nothing bad at all happened. But a loss is still a loss. Of course I was expecting her to reject me. I just really want to hear yes for once. I'm also annoyed that she was easy to talk to and flirt with basically became a red herring. I forgot the number one rule that if a girl seems too flirty and friendly, she's already taken. Now I got to find somebody else I think I might have a chance with and get rejected by her............ FML
Author somedude81 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Didn't want to drag the other thread off topic. I beg to differ that it was "needless." Two things came out of it: (1) you are still alive after a girl said no...affirmation that rejection ain't all that bad; and (2) you'll stop putting this girl on a pedestal on LS. Where did I put her on a pedestal? I haven't said anything about her at all, except that I flirted with her. She was merely, just the most recent girl that I thought I could have a chance with, nothing more.
USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It's odd. I'm definitely disappointed but I'm not hurt. Thankfully nothing bad at all happened. But a loss is still a loss. Of course I was expecting her to reject me. I just really want to hear yes for once. Well, if you were expecting her to reject you, then you must be happy that she did, because your expectations were met, right?! Wrong. When you expect the worst, your subconscious behavior tends to follow towards that end... I'm also annoyed that she was easy to talk to and flirt with basically became a red herring. I forgot the number one rule that if a girl seems too flirty and friendly, she's already taken. This is actually a great observation...oftentimes women who are in relationships don't need to put their "guard" up or act nervous because every guy out there is essentially, as I like to call it, "harmless." So you get the fun and flirty version of them. Now the thing you must learn from this...were you also fun and flirty in response to her? If you were, then congrats, you are capable of being fun and flirty. You know what that feels like, so take that with you into all future interactions. Be fun and flirty with everyone. Don't be fun and flirty in response to a girl being fun and flirty. Be fun and flirty and make them respond to you with fun and flirty. Believe it or not, there are women who are genuinely cool like that, even when they're single. You may have to rough it through some crazy b*tches to find them, but they're out there. Just don't get discouraged if you happen to meet a woman who's taken or one who's a pretentious b*tch. For the record, that is the last damn time I'm going to say "flirt" or "flirty."
USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Where did I put her on a pedestal? Eh, just making some assumptions...
Teknoe Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 whoa whoa whoa! SD asked out his girl interest without: A. Dragging his feet B. Waiting for his "in" moment AKA the "right timing" C. Getting friend zoned ??? Wow. I'm impressed. Good job man. Now go ask out the next girl. And see? I bet you're already forgetting about D, right? Just watch, in another month or two, you'll be completely over her. Time heals all wounds... 1
Els Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Yes, just by living in California, every woman automatically gains two points in the hotness scale... That was definitely not what I said. So what do you think of my analogy? By your logic, the sample population for your 'physical average' is SoCal business undergrads who are not overweight (since overweight women are not even included in your sample size). By my logic, the sample population for my 'IQ average' is graduate students in the hard sciences. Do you think it'd be reasonable for me to insist that my requirements are just 'average', purely based on the fact that the majority of people in MY class satisfy them? I'm not saying you shouldn't have preferences, you know. But the more you delude yourself about what you really want, the more bitter you get with each rejection. On the other hand, when you are able to admit them to yourself, it will motivate you to put more effort into working on yourself to get the people you want. And that only benefits YOU, not us. And no, I do not think that just by being not-fat, means that a woman is above average. Again, as I said, there are only statistics to back me up, as you happen to have the ill fortune of living in a country in which more than half of its adult population is overweight. Unless, of course, it's possible for some overweight people to be 'above average', thus allowing mingling of the two groups. 1
ThaWholigan Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It's odd. I'm definitely disappointed but I'm not hurt. Thankfully nothing bad at all happened. But a loss is still a loss. Of course I was expecting her to reject me. I just really want to hear yes for once. I'm also annoyed that she was easy to talk to and flirt with basically became a red herring. I forgot the number one rule that if a girl seems too flirty and friendly, she's already taken. Now I got to find somebody else I think I might have a chance with and get rejected by her............ FML Don't think about getting rejected man. You should turn it into a game (remember my RPG post??). The best way I figured out how to take being rejected was to not think about it being a rejection, I focused on the process. From that mindset, I was able to at least ask a girl out or escalate somehow on a whim. I experimented with different ways of doing this for my own amusement. For the bolded, as least you know that you can flirt and converse on a slightly more intimate level, even if she was taken. You have to see all girls as easy to flirt with, even if they aren't.
xxoo Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I'm also annoyed that she was easy to talk to and flirt with basically became a red herring. I forgot the number one rule that if a girl seems too flirty and friendly, she's already taken. Just because she has a bf now doesn't mean she'll have a bf in 2 months....(she may, or she may not). But now she knows you are interested Repeat with 20 more girls...some will have bfs, some will reject you, a couple will date you, and a couple others might let you know later when they've broken up with their bf..... 3
zengirl Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 At the tail end of the shift. Me: Damn you were crazy busy today Her: Yeah (explanation for lots of work) Me: Hey what are you doing after? Her: Just going home Me: Want to go get some dinner? Her: No. You know I have a boyfriend righ? Me: *Laugh* I didn't have a clue. You were just flirty when we talked. Her: That's just how I am Mission Complete Good job. Honestly, that's what you have to do. BTW: Did I mention how there are no available women? There are plenty, but there are also plenty of unavailable women. Same with men. C'est la vie. I'm also annoyed that she was easy to talk to and flirt with basically became a red herring. I forgot the number one rule that if a girl seems too flirty and friendly, she's already taken. Why is it annoying that she was easy to talk to? That's part of the attitude that will hold you back if you let it -- talking to people is how you get better at talking to people. She may very well have helped you flirt or communicate or whatever slightly better, and so might the next girl, etc, etc, and all of that can pay off down the line. Any experience is better than no experience. 2
veggirl Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Awesome job SD. I think your approach was great! Super glad you tried. What happened to you isn't rejection perse. She has a BF. No harm, no foul. It wasn't *you*. It's odd. I'm definitely disappointed but I'm not hurt. Thankfully nothing bad at all happened. But a loss is still a loss. Of course I was expecting her to reject me. I just really want to hear yes for once. I'm also annoyed that she was easy to talk to and flirt with basically became a red herring. I forgot the number one rule that if a girl seems too flirty and friendly, she's already taken. Now I got to find somebody else I think I might have a chance with and get rejected by her............ FML Hey, a girl can't flirt and then be surprised when a guy asks her out. Don't even give that a second thought. If a girl is taken and doesn't want dudes asking her out, she doesn't flirt with them. So don't be deterred. 5
Author somedude81 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Well, if you were expecting her to reject you, then you must be happy that she did, because your expectations were met, right?! I was almost hoping that I would be proven wrong. I didn't want to lose even though I was expecting it. This is actually a great observation...oftentimes women who are in relationships don't need to put their "guard" up or act nervous because every guy out there is essentially, as I like to call it, "harmless." So you get the fun and flirty version of them.It really is a pain to tell the difference between flirty interest and innocent flirting. Why does this have to be so complicated. Now the thing you must learn from this...were you also fun and flirty in response to her? If you were, then congrats, you are capable of being fun and flirty. You know what that feels like, so take that with you into all future interactions. Be fun and flirty with everyone. Don't be fun and flirty in response to a girl being fun and flirty. Be fun and flirty and make them respond to you with fun and flirty.It was definitely in response to her. She's the one who started it and started me thinking down that road. Believe it or not, there are women who are genuinely cool like that, even when they're single. You may have to rough it through some crazy b*tches to find them, but they're out there. Just don't get discouraged if you happen to meet a woman who's taken or one who's a pretentious b*tch. I haven't met one yet. whoa whoa whoa! SD asked out his girl interest without: A. Dragging his feet B. Waiting for his "in" moment AKA the "right timing" C. Getting friend zoned ??? Wow. I'm impressed. Good job man. Thank you, but I did wait for the right timing. And I'm never going to get friendzoned again. That only happens when I wait too long to ask somebody out. Of the last five or so girls I've asked out, only one friendzoned me. And see? I bet you're already forgetting about D, right? Just watch, in another month or two, you'll be completely over her. Time heals all wounds... Forgetting about D? Not even close. When I got home, I really wanted to text her and ask why this girl with a BF was flirting with me. Then I remembered that I can't talk to her anymore and just really begun to miss her. Time is not going to heal this wound. The only way I'm going to get over D, is to get on somebody else. Anyways, that's probably the last girl I'm going to ask out till summer classes start. I'll need to be more aggressive. Don't think about getting rejected man. You should turn it into a game (remember my RPG post??). The best way I figured out how to take being rejected was to not think about it being a rejection, I focused on the process. From that mindset, I was able to at least ask a girl out or escalate somehow on a whim. I experimented with different ways of doing this for my own amusement. For this I'm just disappointed it was another unavailable woman. And I'm not hurt at all about it, because she isn't rejecting me. For the bolded, as least you know that you can flirt and converse on a slightly more intimate level, even if she was taken. You have to see all girls as easy to flirt with, even if they aren't.Eh. Some are saying that the fact that she was taken, is what made her easier to flirt with. Basically it's a trick. Just because she has a bf now doesn't mean she'll have a bf in 2 months....(she may, or she may not). But now she knows you are interested I'm not going to hold on to the thought that maybe she'll date me if she breaks up. Repeat with 20 more girls...some will have bfs, some will reject you, a couple will date you, and a couple others might let you know later when they've broken up with their bf..... Yeah I"ll ask out more girls. I can do it if I force myself to be more sociable and talk to everybody I'm attracted to. I'm bound to get lucky eventually. Right? Good job. Honestly, that's what you have to do. Thanks There are plenty, but there are also plenty of unavailable women. Same with men. C'est la vie.For some reason, the majority of women seem to be unavailable. At least the ones that are halfway desirable. Why is it annoying that she was easy to talk to? I'm annoyed that I felt I might have had a chance with her. Ask much as I believed she was going to reject me, I was still saddened when it happened. Somehow I have to not care about the outcome at all. It also means that I can simply not tell if a girl is interested in me at all. I'm still taking shots in the dark. Awesome job SD. I think your approach was great! Super glad you tried. What happened to you isn't rejection perse. She has a BF. No harm, no foul. It wasn't *you*. Thanks veg. Yeah it wasn't a true rejection. Hey, a girl can't flirt and then be surprised when a guy asks her out. Don't even give that a second thought. If a girl is taken and doesn't want dudes asking her out, she doesn't flirt with them. So don't be deterred. My thought exactly. And I'm sure it's going to keep happening with her if she doesn't figure it out. Though for once I'd like to flirt with an available woman. Going on a real date would be nice too.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It really is a pain to tell the difference between flirty interest and innocent flirting. Why does this have to be so complicated. Don't even worry about trying to tell the difference. It's not complicated; it's simple. If you'd like to ask her out, do so. And accept the results. It WILL get easier. Congrats on asking the girl out. 5
xxoo Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I'm not going to hold on to the thought that maybe she'll date me if she breaks up. Please don't! Be too busy focusing on other prospects. But it is one small possibility out there among many possibilities, and you've planted the seed.
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