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quick pole...once a cheater always a cheater????


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Posted

Do you believe that once youve cheated on someone that you will continue to do this throughtout any other realtionships or marriages you have? do you think you can stop yourself from doing it again?

Posted

I've never cheated on anyone. I've dated more people than I can count. But I've only had three serious relationships in my lifetime. All three relationships ended when they cheated on me and lied to me.

 

I don't like cheating because of he pain it made me feel. I never want to cheat on anyone. I'd like to find someone who's strong enough to resist the temptation of cheating the same as I can. Hopefully, I'll find this person before I'm too old to enjoy a relationship with them.

Posted

I have never cheated on anyone but i dont think that just b/c someone cheated once that they will continue to do it.. things happen people make mistakes but if you feel strongly enough about someone that ur in a relationship with you will stop yourself from cheating...

Posted

I agree with xOxAshleyAnnxOx. It just seems that there are a lot of people out here who believe that cheating "just happens" as though it's not controllable. I was talking to a male friend today about my problems with finding someone who believes in fedelity. That guy said that I'd be better off with someone who knows how to hide their cheating so that I won't find out, be insecure, and feel hurt. In other words, he feels that eveyone cheats. But the jerks are the ones who don't care enough about you to keep it under wraps.

 

His opinon really has me thinking !!!

Posted

I believe that people have the ability to change.

Posted

I have cheated once, one time on someone very important to me. I would never do it again, it was the worst experience of my life ... and I actually had no clue as to the extent of the damage it would do. I now know.

 

So I don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater, I know for a fact that this not something I would ever do again under any circumstances.

Posted

I was in a relationship for about 2 years once with a guy who didn't like sex very much.

 

He couldn't admit it though. He kept blaming it on 'stress' and 'anxiety' so I stuck around thinking that sooner or later things would get better.

 

They didn't. I ended up cheating on him. Not once but a number of times. I was so starved for physical contact!

 

Was I wrong? Absolutely. I should have ended things with him first. But I guess I was confused and felt that justified my behavior.

 

We had a very weird relationship, I was at a wierd point in my life with a whole lot of upheaval going on.

 

Flash forward six years later and things are completely changed; I have a stable career, I've grown up quite a lot and I'm with a wonderful man who I wouldn't DREAM of cheating on. We've been together four years.

 

Of course people can change.

 

But they have to want to change.

 

And sometimes it involves changing more than just a mindset. For me it involved leaving an unhealthy relationship and finding a healthy one

Posted

Yes people really can change but they have to want to change. Unfortunately, not very many people who cheat want to change. They've found ways to justify their actions. And of course, if they ever change, they would probably need to start anew with someone who hasn't been hurt by them. Because it's usually difficult to forget about someone's past when their past has caused you grief.

Posted

I've never cheated on anyone - I just don't think I have it in me. I have been cheated on before, however, and especially in the case of my last Mr. Ex I do believe he's done it again to the next one(s).

 

I have to admit, though I'm sure it wasn't intentional, that the thread title is really quite profound. You see, if the guy really does have such a "quick pole" I'm certainly going to think he's likely to be a serial cheater! :D

Posted

Hi, no I don't think that if someone cheats they will always do it. I think people can change, but only if they want too. Its just like anything else, alcoholics can change, so can drug addicts etc. It all has to do with them wanting help and changing.

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