DuchessKaye Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 So, I'm a female. And I'd like to be exclusive with the guy I am presently dating and I wish he'd do the same. We've been seeing each other for 2 months. How will I tell him that I want it? When's the best time to bring it up? Should I just tell it to him out of nowhere? Thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 well you are the woman. women always moan and complain they cant find a decent guy. then they make a big drama when a guy brings up the same question. i think you should sit and talk with him and be really nice. tell him your feelings for him...and that you wanna be together. its that simple.
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 well not necessarily. women wouldnt like it either way if a guy asks.... what happens instead is things like "you should know! What on earth have you been doing behind my back? blah blah blah" its good to be open, honest and direct with some sensitivity put in the right place.
january2011 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Just ask "are we exclusive?" That's all that's needed, since it should be subtle and never "are you my bf/gf?" Or alternatively, ask, "hey, what do you think about being exclusive?" It's open-ended so you're making it more of discussion rather than a yes/no interrogation, which I think can sometimes happen with these topics. I suggest using a casual tone when there's a lull in the conversation. You don't need to make it seem like a big relationship talk - that can put a lot of pressure on the conversation and I think that's unnecessary.
newmoon Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 i think it depends. if you are just dating (no sex yet) then wait for him to bring it up. that should fall to the guy, seriously. most guys run off because women want the exclusivity so fast. give the relationship time. if you're having sex, then my suggestion is to bring it up along the lines of 'i take sex/love seriously and would like to be sleeping with a man who i know is just having sex with me - how does that sound to you?' then you've asked without cornering him or pressuring him into anything 1
Author DuchessKaye Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 i think it depends. if you are just dating (no sex yet) then wait for him to bring it up. that should fall to the guy, seriously. most guys run off because women want the exclusivity so fast. give the relationship time. if you're having sex, then my suggestion is to bring it up along the lines of 'i take sex/love seriously and would like to be sleeping with a man who i know is just having sex with me - how does that sound to you?' then you've asked without cornering him or pressuring him into anything This is a great idea! Thanks
KathyM Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 You could start the conversation something like this: "I'm really happy when we are together, and I feel very close to you. I guess I don't really know if you feel the same way about me." That should open up the topic for discussion. If he indicates that he feels the same way about you, you could then say: "I haven't been going out with anybody else, because I feel so close to you." Hopefully, at that point, he'll say he hasn't been either, or if he has been, he'll either stop at that point and become exclusive with you, or he'll say he's not ready to become exclusive with anybody yet, and you'll know where you stand. Hopefully he won't lead you to believe you are exclusive when he has no intention of backing that up. Most people, I think, are honorable people and wouldn't deceive a person like that. So start the conversation out delicately by broaching on how you feel about him.
Author DuchessKaye Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 You could start the conversation something like this: "I'm really happy when we are together, and I feel very close to you. I guess I don't really know if you feel the same way about me." That should open up the topic for discussion. If he indicates that he feels the same way about you, you could then say: "I haven't been going out with anybody else, because I feel so close to you." Hopefully, at that point, he'll say he hasn't been either, or if he has been, he'll either stop at that point and become exclusive with you, or he'll say he's not ready to become exclusive with anybody yet, and you'll know where you stand. Hopefully he won't lead you to believe you are exclusive when he has no intention of backing that up. Most people, I think, are honorable people and wouldn't deceive a person like that. So start the conversation out delicately by broaching on how you feel about him. I am going to try this one. Thanks Kathy
KathyM Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I am going to try this one. Thanks Kathy You're welcome. It worked for me with my husband. I needed to know where we stood, so I had to delicately beat around the bush a little, since he's a bit guarded, and it did get him to bring out the L word, which he had never used before with any woman. Some men need a little encouragement to discuss things like relationship status.
Arkaeology Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 My girlfriend asked me, "So what do you think about being my boyfriend?" I thought for a minute or two and said "Sure." We've been together 2 months and everything has been great. If you want it, go ask for it if especially if you hate all the guessing games like I do. Hell, I asked her on our 3rd date if I could kiss her and she said yes. Been smooth sailing ever since. Communication is key.
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