est_1985 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Hi guys, So here's my dilemma: I am sleeping with a guy who happens to be the recent ex boyfriend of my best friends friend... It sounds confusing I know but lemme break it down a little, my best friend jill, has a friend, Katie, who recently broke up with her bf of 3 yrs, mark... He started secretly talking to me on Facebook before their breakup and we became good friends, so soon after he became single we started flirting heavily and asked if I'd ever hook up with him. I was hesitant but curious and after a few discussions we became friends with benefits... I have not told Jill, my BFF, because she doesn't like mark at all and mainly because I feel she'll judge me. Last night I went out with Jill and Katie and katie mentioned she missed her ex and got all emotional and a I could do is pour shots down her throat to shut her up! And now I'm ridden with guilt... On top of that I might be catching feelings for this guy and it's too early for either of us to start dating but I can't help how I feel... So, my questions are: Do I tell my friend about my relationship with this guy? Am I a skank for even hooking up with him in the first place? Is there a girl-code I'm breaking? And wtf do I do about my stupid feelings??? Sorry it's long, this is my first time posting:( but thanks for helping in advance!
FrustratedStandards Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 There is no such thing as "girl" code. That's stupid. I don't think you should tell anyone. Your sex life is no ones business. Although i'm curious as to what your relationship with Katie was before you starting seeing her ex. If you girls weren't friends but merely acquaintances, I wouldn't worry. But if you were more than that, maybe even friends, I would worry, especially since it wasn't just a short relationship but a serious one of 3 years. Just keep it to yourself. Women always find reasons to hate you, be jealous or to create more drama. Best to keep it private.
USMCHokie Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 ...soon after he became single we started flirting heavily and asked if I'd ever hook up with him. This actually works...? ::taking mental note::
Author est_1985 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I guess we're mere acquaintances, we share 1 mutual friend and have only hung out a handful of times... Thanks for the input though I guess I should just keep it to myself
Professor X Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 You kid yourself if you think any real RS will pop out of this. He just broke up and asked for a hookup (lol?). You're just a vagina for him, grats!
manup Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Hi guys, So here's my dilemma: I am sleeping with a guy who happens to be the recent ex boyfriend of my best friends friend... It sounds confusing I know but lemme break it down a little, my best friend jill, has a friend, Katie, who recently broke up with her bf of 3 yrs, mark... He started secretly talking to me on Facebook before their breakup and we became good friends, so soon after he became single we started flirting heavily and asked if I'd ever hook up with him. I was hesitant but curious and after a few discussions we became friends with benefits... I have not told Jill, my BFF, because she doesn't like mark at all and mainly because I feel she'll judge me. Last night I went out with Jill and Katie and katie mentioned she missed her ex and got all emotional and a I could do is pour shots down her throat to shut her up! And now I'm ridden with guilt... On top of that I might be catching feelings for this guy and it's too early for either of us to start dating but I can't help how I feel... So, my questions are: Do I tell my friend about my relationship with this guy? Am I a skank for even hooking up with him in the first place? Is there a girl-code I'm breaking? And wtf do I do about my stupid feelings??? Sorry it's long, this is my first time posting:( but thanks for helping in advance! You are a sperm receptacle to this guy, nothing more.
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 you should have known better in the first place. to move on quickly like that. this is another problem - when people refer to "move on to the next", this is exactly what they mean - quickly replacable. now not sure why or how but you may have caused the break up between him and his girl. it also sounds like you like to sleep around too which isnt good for you/image but i guess each to their own. sorry, you are a skank (as you put it) and you know this but went ahead and did it anyway without using your head! catching feelings? well... again you should have known better what to do! FWB/one nighters do not work. its either commitment or nothing. period. no messing around!
Feelin Frisky Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Keep pouring those shots own her gullet. But seriously, you started it off as FWB--recreational sex and you must now choose if there is a future there or if you future is more geared toward keeping your female friends. This depends greatly on what you think of this guy's loyalties. From here he seems to be rather opportunistic and questionable. But if it was really over between them and he gives you reason to to believe that you and he have something good going on, then perhaps it's worth alienating your friend with the truth.
ASG Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Oh wow! LS really is full of judgmental bastards! OP, keep it to yourself. No good will come of her finding out, even if you aren't really friends. If you think you're developing feelings, get out of it. It's not healthy to be in a one sided relationship (of any kind) and things will not progress, so you're better off just ending it and getting some distance. And ignore the prudes.
Author est_1985 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 Oh wow! LS really is full of judgmental bastards! OP, keep it to yourself. No good will come of her finding out, even if you aren't really friends. If you think you're developing feelings, get out of it. It's not healthy to be in a one sided relationship (of any kind) and things will not progress, so you're better off just ending it and getting some distance. And ignore the prudes. Thanks, I guess it's what I get for asking strangers for their opinion, I didn't think some ppl would take it this far.... And actually dudes, I don't sleep around often and my mom passed away when I was a kid but keep it up guys, it's all great.... For the ppl with actual advice, thanks again
sophiewilcoxx Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Hi guys, So here's my dilemma: I am sleeping with a guy who happens to be the recent ex boyfriend of my best friends friend... It sounds confusing I know but lemme break it down a little, my best friend jill, has a friend, Katie, who recently broke up with her bf of 3 yrs, mark... He started secretly talking to me on Facebook before their breakup and we became good friends, so soon after he became single we started flirting heavily and asked if I'd ever hook up with him. I was hesitant but curious and after a few discussions we became friends with benefits... I have not told Jill, my BFF, because she doesn't like mark at all and mainly because I feel she'll judge me. Last night I went out with Jill and Katie and katie mentioned she missed her ex and got all emotional and a I could do is pour shots down her throat to shut her up! And now I'm ridden with guilt... On top of that I might be catching feelings for this guy and it's too early for either of us to start dating but I can't help how I feel... So, my questions are: Do I tell my friend about my relationship with this guy? Am I a skank for even hooking up with him in the first place? Is there a girl-code I'm breaking? And wtf do I do about my stupid feelings??? Sorry it's long, this is my first time posting:( but thanks for helping in advance! In my opinion, you shouldn't have hooked up with that guy. Tell your BFF what happened. I'm sure she'll understand you and give you some advice about what to do with your feelings. Maybe its because something happened already between the two of you (that guy) that's why you feel a little "love" feeling. That's normal. Try going out with other guys. Or if you still cant get over with your feelings, maybe its time to talk to your BFF's friend and settle this issue.
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