xztjohn Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 so what point did you realize that you have fully moved on. any specific stories to tell? i would like to be at that point one day
PoppyLove89 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 For me it's still an on-going process. My boyfriend and I broke-up at the start of November 2011, it's been almost 6 months now. I wouldn't say I am over him, I still love him dearly and think about him a little every single day but it's definitely no where near what it was like when it first happened. I was an absolute mess!! Crying on & off for the first two months or so...now it's definitely a lot easier and it keeps getting easier still. Time is a healer: break-ups are very much like grieving a death; the end of something old and comfortable but they also mark the beginning of your new life so chin up, stay strong and you'll get there
darkmoon Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) one i had to say to myelf "you will never see him again, you must accept it" and i stood there til i did accept it, two minutes later, it was not immediate, the loss accepted felt like a jolt, but i felt better then one faded from memory, one day i noticed i hadn't thought of him for weeks another boyf i left home to travel one boyf, i just stopped thinking of him remember life before them and go back there, and start living (advice somewhere else on LS) you see someone else you fancy new some i drop, am not the perpetual loser, but i have an SO now and we are both good Edited April 23, 2012 by darkmoon
shayla Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 It has taken me a long, long time. Our breakup was very ugly, it's been over a year. For almost the entire time I've had horrible thoughts about him and the things he did. Last week I went to Vegas with my new man and didn't think of my ex or the woman he left me for to marry once. I felt happy and had so much fun. When I got back home, I expected to go right back to my obsessive thoughts and anger, but I did not. That is when I knew that I had FULLY moved on.
Chi townD Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 One day I woke up and she wasn't the first thing on my mind. That's when I knew the healing had started. 2
geegirl Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Broke up 16 months ago after I caught him cheating. He continued to reach out with remorse, and I struggled but I couldn't go back. 6 months later I saw him one day on the road, I jumped a little but within seconds felt nothing. As I drove off I realized he wasn't the first thing that popped in my head anymore. Those mornings were gone. That's when I knew he was fading. Now we see each other here and there and we're cordial. I don't have any bad feelings, just indifference. Infact, the ex has met the new guy. I truly believe things will always work themselves out. Your break up is a small sliver of the enormity of your life. I won't always be this way.
flitzanu Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 when i've realized one day that i can't remember the last time i thought about the situation or being hurt over it. 1
jen_r Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 It took me a long time to move on, basically because I wasn't letting myself. Now, since we broke up for good around nov 2011 - I am pretty much over him. I hate him and when I think of him I only have negative thoughts. But I am SO happy to be at this point because I never ever ever thought I would be able to get over it. I still think back to the good times, but they were sooo long ago that I barely remember feeling happy with him.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 so what point did you realize that you have fully moved on. any specific stories to tell? i would like to be at that point one day It took me longer than many to heal because he was abusive and fits Borderline Personality and Narcissistic perfectly. Recovering from this, wondering why...Ugh. it was a journey. I can't remember when it happened, but I woke up one day and didn't think of him.The hurt was gone. Instead of being angry, I felt pity for him, but mostly for the new girl he is dating. It will happen for you. You will be indifferent.
sweetheart5381 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 For me it's when I feel indifferent. Detached in such a way that they can no longer hurt me with words or actions - I just simply cease to care. No anger, no sadness, etc. By the same token, they can do nothing to make me feel that sheer happiness and elation of love either. He's just another dude. For me it clicked in the last 2 weeks with my recent ex. I don't care if we ever talk again, see one another again. It just doesn't matter now. We see each other at work and there is nothing there now and it doesn't bother me a bit. I don't wish him any harm and I don't care if he is happy either. He's just another dude at work putting in his 40 hrs like the rest of us. Relief will come, and when it does you won't even notice - cuz you won't care anymore. 1
mike588 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 so what point did you realize that you have fully moved on. any specific stories to tell? i would like to be at that point one day When your ex. isn't the 1st thing on your mind the second you wake up...when you stop wondering what he/she is doing and when you feel happy again...when you quit analyzing the b/u and just don't care anymore. You will get to that point one day..believe me! 3
fetish1980 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 my breakup was almost 16 months ago. made enormous progress. sometimes slip in to thinking about the past when i pass through an area of the city we'd often frequent together. i have to say she stopped becoming the first thing on my mind between 9 and 11 months after our breakup. fetish
Meg717 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 We broke up beginning of Feb, he moved out March 1st...the third week into March I started feeling good. I was waking up and able to eat and actually laugh and smile and not fake it. I stopped wondering what he was doing on his days off or what he was doing after work, now it doesn't even cross my mind, just another day. However, I know I'm not completely over him, I'm just not depressed anymore. I knew this because Jason Mraz's song "I wont give up" came on the radio and I cried a little thinking about my ex, bc that's how I partially feel, I don't want to give up. But I know it was a unhealthy relationship and it's best to move on. But like everyone has said, it will happen, you'll know when you've moved on.
Sugarkane Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I also had a very nasty breakup with someone at least with NP. I never got closure or answers and was very angry for about a year. You realize when you no longer cry/ get depressed anymore. You worry far more about your own life, than what theyre doing with theirs. they don't remotely care if we sleep with someone else. Very likely my ex is emotionally abusing someone else until they have no self esteem left. Then he'll dump her cruelly too.
DuchessKaye Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The moment that I realized my worth and that no one can stop me in getting back my self respect, I decided to move on...
Svet74 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 A year. And still not over him. I think it's harder when their family is till part of your life. I think the only way to get over someone is complete no contact. So I can't even imagine those breakups with kids involved.
dreamscape123 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 9 months and still not over her either.... Much much better than I was, but then I sometimes have these little set backs... Today I was talking to someone I know on Facebook, and her is friends with my ex, so I found myself look at her page, ok, its set to private, but I could see her profile pic , and she is still with the guy she dumped me for.... What hurts the most is, we were together and so close, how could that all just go ? She was also recently told of my re deployment to Afghanistan, and considering how close we were, she didnt even wish me a safe return.... and that hurt ... BIG TIME
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