Verstand Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 So me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up a week ago and she entered a rebound relationship with one of her male friends the very next day. I'm miserable and love her and would do anything to get her back. This is something I had sent to one of my friends explaining why we broke up. Keep in my that we were the perfect couple and the main reason we broke up was simply the result of a lack of communication from me to her in the long run. "Let me tell you kind of what had happened before we broke up. Back in the later summer of last year my parents started having really bad problems which had an effect on me and I just tried to ignore and didn't tell *her name*(the only thing I never told her...) because I just wanted to act like it wasn't happening... It had an effect on my mood... I then moved into *her name* house and at first it was great because I was living with her, but her dad was terrible... And it was a nightmare living there because of him and I had nobody to vent to because *her name* didn't want to hear it because she realized that things weren't going well with me and her dad and she just thought ignoring it would make things work... Then on Thanksgiving of last year me and her dad got into a fight because he was in a bad mood and I was having a panic attack for some reason and it was a huge catalyst that caused her parents to hate me and I got kicked out of her and moved back with my parents... And that made my depression hurt even worse... And from then on me and *her name* just started kind of growing more apart... We still loved each other but we were both just hurting so bad and we both had nobody to talk to about our relationship so we just kept drudging through and kept fighting without trying to get help... During that time me and her almost broke up a few times because of our fights (they were never physical just verbal, and no name calling either just kind of yelling...) and I promised I would get better but the thing was was at the time I didn't know how to get better... And things just got worse and worse... And then she started talking to *his name* a lot a few weeks before our breakup and she got really distant and begged me to treat me like he treats women, and then we just broke up because she couldn't handle it anymore... That night I did a lot of thinking and realized that I had been blind for so damn long... I shouldn't have cared about all that pointless sh** that was hurting me I should have just cared about her... I know she still love me deep down and while she's ignoring it right now I know she still feels it... She's just afraid to be hurt again because I had said I'd change before... But this time I have... I know exactly where my priorities lie now... But like before the fighting and even in the fighting we were still a perfect couple... We still loved each other more than anything... We were like something out of a movie... I just grew distant because of my depression and it hurt us... I mean, we had planned to get married, we planned to have a family one day... Also another thing I should mention... During one of our big fights, and this happened back in October we got into a big big fight and I told her we need to break up because I wasn't thinking rationally and was hurt... I had my dad come and pick me up and went home, but almost immediately started calling and texting her... And she took me back because we couldn't bear to be without each other... Some of her friends told me that she was ready to kill herself over it because she couldn't bear to not have me in her life... And since that night in October she had never been the same... I know that if I was out of my depression things would have gotten better immediately but because I was still in the depression things just got worse because she was in a depression from then on as well... And then the Thanksgiving thing I mentioned earlier happened as well, but I know she still loved me because her parents were urging her to break up with me and she even went as far as to come stay at my house for a few days... I mean we had a couple really rocky bad few months and everything just kind of tumbled out of control and we didn't know at the time how to pull it together... But I do know how to now... I know I've hurt her, but I mean honestly while we had a hard few months countless couples have gone through harder... Some couples have gone through things much worse than what we did for years and managed to pick up the pieces and start again happier than ever... I just want to heal her, and I want her to see that I'm the man she fell in love with again... I just wish I had a time machine so I could have just shared with her about my depression in the first place... Another thing that hurts is like her brother and his wife had broken up for a few months at one point, and after when they got back together they were happier than ever... I don't know why she isn't taking that into consideration, because they were going through things a lot worse than we did... Also keep in mind she told me she still had feelings for me the night we broke up and said she wouldn't take me back because she was afraid she'd get hurt..." The reason I know she's in a rebound is because this new guy is not only completely different from me he's also completely and utterly different from her in terms of morals. For example my girlfriend was staunchly against marijuana use under any circumstance and thought it should be illegal no matter what. This new guy though for example is not only a massive stoner he's also one of the guys who's fb is just full of pictures of him high or smoking joints. Also the only reason she had given me for getting together with him is because "of how nice he is...". And the night we broke up I asked if she still had feelings of me and she said yes but that she doesn't want to get hurt again. Also her brother and sister in law are on my side in this hate this new guy she's with and also are convinced it's a rebound and want her to come back to me. But the thing she currently lives with her parents and her parents hate my guts and loved to talk crap about me when me and her were together so I can only assume it's even worse now. Also this new guy is loved by her parents (he actually was one of her dads friends). Which makes this a bit difficult... Another thing that makes it difficult is because the first few nights after the breakup and not knowing what to do I just bombarded her with calls and texts messages trying to talk to her and beg me back and now she just doesn't want to talk to me in general. Also she doesn't hate me though, I know that as she's told several people who have asked her that she does not hate me but then she drops the conversation. How do you think I can get her back...? I'm going to try and give her some space but yeah... I just love her so much and I would do anything to get her back...
Author Verstand Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 Another thing, she's really really big on sappy lovey stuff and so last night I had wrote a please come back love song for her and put it to a slideshow of pictures from our best times... I was going to send it but all the internet sites are telling me not to beg for her back or look desperate... I just don't know what to do...
Author Verstand Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 She also tends to overreact over things and think that small problems sometimes are the end of the world which is how she's raised as well... Any help anybody could give would help... Like I said I'm going to try and give her a month of time. But if her and the rebound break up before the month is over should I rush in there?
Author Verstand Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 One of her and I'd mututal friends who is talking to her just told me that she said she thinks this new guy is the one (keep in mind she's only been dating him a week and barely new him before hand) what the hell...? This is just part of the rebound right? I don't understand this... She also claims to be doing great... I can't handle this... Somebody please help... I'd literally do anything to get her back but she won't even talk to me... I've done no contact for 2 days but it's killing me...
jphcbpa Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I had a g/f like this in high school. She ended up pregnant and with herpes. Later she married some other guy and had more kids, ended up divorced. She did you a favor. Let her knock herself out. You work on you and DONOT contact her.
Author Verstand Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 She sounds like a romance addict I had a g/f like this in high school. She ended up pregnant and with herpes. Later she married some other guy and had more kids, ended up divorced. She did you a favor. Let her knock herself out. You work on you and DONOT contact her. No, you don't know her... Like honestly me, and quite a few of us who know her honestly have no idea what is going on because she isn't acting like herself at all...
BDranger Posted April 25, 2012 Posted April 25, 2012 No, you don't know her... Like honestly me, and quite a few of us who know her honestly have no idea what is going on because she isn't acting like herself at all... Verstand - listen to this. I had the exact same thing happen to me. I know it hurts now, and it's going to. I promise you, if you make any contact whatsoever, ****s gonna hurt more. Block her on facebook, delete her number, forget her number, block her email. Do not allow her to contact you and completely avoid her. If you beg, you will fall and fall HARD. She is going through a phase and you my friend, are not a part of this phase. Just let it happen. If she wants to run off and be stupid and immature - let it happen. Like my cousin said (who is a female) when she is ready to talk again, she will let you know. Trust me dude, this was me to the letter. The faster you can pretend she never existed the better off you are.
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