unsqueegees Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 An old friend from early childhood found me on Facebook over a month ago. The first day we chatted online for hours ending with him giving me his phone number. Then for the following month he would text 2-3 times but its all superficial chit-chat.. It seems to nowhere yet he keeps initiating conversations.. About 5 weeks into it I get a late night drunken text "wanna f___ ?" I had no idea what to make of it.. Long story short, we have spent the last 3 weekends together but it all seems really platonic. Yet I can't help get excited about it all when he texts (for hours now). So I couldn't take it anymore so I asked him if he wanted to date... I got friendzoned.. Feeling slightly annoyed, I rebuilt the wall around my heart and went on with life. I'm just now home from weekend #5 (having accepted an unspoken friends with benefits thing) only to learn he had been taking a girl from work to a couple movies (he said he was 'dating' her but they weren't an official couple). Him seeing her this last week or two while friend zoning/sleeping with me has annoyed me even more yet I'm still fine with FWB as he's not 100% my type. So now last night I gave him 3 good, passionate hickeys kinda hoping the girl at his work will see and get upset at him. And I'm just disappointed in myself because I'm not catty or a dramatic person. Does this make me a bad person? Because now I really feel bad since he was never my man to begin with (nor hers). I kinda did it because I feel like he led me on..
spookie Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Yah.. he didn't lead you on. Why are you sleeping with him?
writergal Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I have to agree with the other posters. He didn't lead you on, it was your own choice.
Author unsqueegees Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I only say he led me on because he says he did.. After I asked him out he said 'I don't mean to lead you on, but I was thinking we were more like friends. I should tell you I'm dating 'the girl from work'" But yes I did visit on my own accord. I know.. I'm terrible.. I really feel bad about potentially ruining his new relationship..
xpaperxcutx Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Don't feel sorry for ruining anything. He knew what hewas getting himself inyo. But you have to stop sleeping with him and go NC. You're allowing yoursel to be his girl for right noe when he does get serious with the other girl expect him to drop you like a hat. Right you need to make a conscious choice to break the fwb and save yourself from getting hurt.
SmileFace Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Haha this is what sucks with fwb sex. I like to leave my mark. Lol. However he is having sex with you hickie or not. The hickie isn't going to make a difference if the girl finds out. It may help her notice but that isn't your business . Why does his relationship matter to you?
Emilia Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I only say he led me on because he says he did.. After I asked him out he said 'I don't mean to lead you on, but I was thinking we were more like friends. I should tell you I'm dating 'the girl from work'" But yes I did visit on my own accord. I know.. I'm terrible.. I really feel bad about potentially ruining his new relationship.. What?? He treats you like dirt taking advantage of the fact that you want more, you go along with what he wants (which is very weak by the way) and you feel bad about potentially runing his new relationship?? Just how much more of a doormat are you planning to be?
Author unsqueegees Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I know, you all are right and I do see myself being discarded as soon as they become 'official.' I know I can't keep seeing him.. It isn't right in any sense for any of us.. My petty jealousy, his 'having his cake + eating it too' and this other girl who didn't ask for any of it. But thank you all for saying what I didn't want to admit to myself...
rach24680 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I think friends with benefits always ends up going wrong. Theres always someone who ends up developings feelings and getting hurt. Hes having his cake and eating it. If yr oky with jst sleeping with him thrn go fif it bt make sure u have the time to go out with ur friends and have a good time and find a guy who wants to be with u properly!
Ellamay Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 You didnt potentially ruin his new relationship, but you can continue to think that to make yourself feel better. Bottom line is youre worth nothing to him. Hes investing time and money into the other girl and only using you for sexual pleasure. Nothing you do is going to break them up or make him want her any less.
Recommended Posts