Laveli Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 So my ex and I broke up a month and half ago. We have stayed in touch, andare planning on having dinner when she gets back in town within the next fewdays. However, about 2 weeks ago i asked her if there is any chance for us toget back? she said "i don’t see usever getting back". I still have feelings for her and love her, so iaccepted us to remain friends. I know it hurts for the person who was dumped, much much more. My questionis do I agree with the dinner as planned? Or do i just not respond to her ifshe does texts me? I want to remain NC just in case if she ever misses me, theway i see it now being friends is not getting us anywhere as far as gettingback together.
HollyBolly Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 So my ex and I broke up a month and half ago. We have stayed in touch, andare planning on having dinner when she gets back in town within the next fewdays. However, about 2 weeks ago i asked her if there is any chance for us toget back? she said "i don’t see usever getting back". I still have feelings for her and love her, so iaccepted us to remain friends. I know it hurts for the person who was dumped, much much more. My questionis do I agree with the dinner as planned? Or do i just not respond to her ifshe does texts me? I want to remain NC just in case if she ever misses me, theway i see it now being friends is not getting us anywhere as far as gettingback together. I'm sorry you're hurting. You obviously want her back but she doesn't seem to be too keen on the idea. As long as you're hanging around her, there is no room for her to miss you. If she doesn't miss you, chances are she won't change her mind. I would cancel the dinner and tell her it is too painful for you to see her. Tell her you're sorry but you need time and space to get over the pain and go NC.
Author Laveli Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 I'm sorry you're hurting. You obviously want her back but she doesn't seem to be too keen on the idea. As long as you're hanging around her, there is no room for her to miss you. If she doesn't miss you, chances are she won't change her mind. I would cancel the dinner and tell her it is too painful for you to see her. Tell her you're sorry but you need time and space to get over the pain and go NC. Thanks Holly, now do i cancel when she contacts me or just not respond? I agree if i'm always around there is no need for her to miss me, just about a week ago we decided to meet and have some coffee and i bought her flowers. She took it, but said "now i feel bad"
HollyBolly Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Thanks Holly, now do i cancel when she contacts me or just not respond? I agree if i'm always around there is no need for her to miss me, just about a week ago we decided to meet and have some coffee and i bought her flowers. She took it, but said "now i feel bad" Has the dinner date been set? I'm sorry but I was under the impression that it was already set. If it isn't set, then send her a msg telling her you need to go NC and the reasons for it. If it is set, then you need to cancel it. Just all of a sudden not responding after hanging out is just too rude and hurtful. Don't sweat it. She doesn't feel all that bad.
Author Laveli Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 Has the dinner date been set? I'm sorry but I was under the impression that it was already set. If it isn't set, then send her a msg telling her you need to go NC and the reasons for it. If it is set, then you need to cancel it. Just all of a sudden not responding after hanging out is just too rude and hurtful. Don't sweat it. She doesn't feel all that bad. It has not been set, she went out of town and said when she get's back she will contact me to schedule dinner.
HollyBolly Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 It has not been set, she went out of town and said when she get's back she will contact me to schedule dinner. In that case, you can either contact her now and tell her you need to go NC. Or you can wait for her to get back to you. One thing, though, you have to be sure this is what you want and, if it is, not let her talk you out of it. You want more and she won't or can't give it to you. How can you heal if you keep hanging out together? What if she springs a new bf on you at one of these dinners? Don't know about you, but I wouldn't be able to handle it.
Author Laveli Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 In that case, you can either contact her now and tell her you need to go NC. Or you can wait for her to get back to you. One thing, though, you have to be sure this is what you want and, if it is, not let her talk you out of it. You want more and she won't or can't give it to you. How can you heal if you keep hanging out together? What if she springs a new bf on you at one of these dinners? Don't know about you, but I wouldn't be able to handle it. Yes, it makes the healing process much harder. Also, i think if we or I do go NC maybe she will miss me and want to take work things out. If not i guess i have nothing to lose at this point. I asked her if she was still single, and she said she was. And, and asked me if i was single also. I told her i miss all the places we went/traveled our relationship etc and she said she missed it also. She gives mixed signals
Spiral70 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Not a good idea to meet up while you still have feelings for her, it wouldn't work, it would make it painful and drawn out for you, trust me I've been there. Don't stay friends for the reason that you think it will help you get her back. I wouldn't go for dinner, it would only be a good idea to go for dinner if you're 100% happy to just be friends, and right now, you're not. In time maybe you can be friends, when you have moved on and no longer have feelings for her as a partner, for now though contact will keep you hopeful and lead to heartbreak. I know how painful it is and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Good luck So my ex and I broke up a month and half ago. We have stayed in touch, andare planning on having dinner when she gets back in town within the next fewdays. However, about 2 weeks ago i asked her if there is any chance for us toget back? she said "i don’t see usever getting back". I still have feelings for her and love her, so iaccepted us to remain friends. I know it hurts for the person who was dumped, much much more. My questionis do I agree with the dinner as planned? Or do i just not respond to her ifshe does texts me? I want to remain NC just in case if she ever misses me, theway i see it now being friends is not getting us anywhere as far as gettingback together.
HollyBolly Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Yes, it makes the healing process much harder. Also, i think if we or I do go NC maybe she will miss me and want to take work things out. If not i guess i have nothing to lose at this point. I asked her if she was still single, and she said she was. And, and asked me if i was single also. I told her i miss all the places we went/traveled our relationship etc and she said she missed it also. She gives mixed signals Trying to heal and hanging around with your ex do not mix. Put a stop to that unless she wants a second chance with you, too. She wants to keep you around in case nothing better comes her way. Why not have her ego stroked once in awhile until someone else comes along?
Spiral70 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 My ex missed a lot of things about us after he left, but it didn't mean we could work as a couple anymore or that he wanted those things back. I wouldn't say to her you find it too painful to keep in touch, I'd just say probably best if we have no contact as it's better for me that way. Yes, it makes the healing process much harder. Also, i think if we or I do go NC maybe she will miss me and want to take work things out. If not i guess i have nothing to lose at this point. I asked her if she was still single, and she said she was. And, and asked me if i was single also. I told her i miss all the places we went/traveled our relationship etc and she said she missed it also. She gives mixed signals
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