threebyfate Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 i didnt mean it like that AT ALL soserious1. and again the attitude in the end.... hm. nevermind. *sigh* threebyfate: ditto to you too. again, thinking things and saying things which arent true at all and believing in them. typical women behavior again? sorry you think like that. shame it is no wonder there are too many unhappy/single people and alot of complainers and moaners. sorry you cant see that, i truely amSince you're incapable of communicating in a direct manner, using passive-aggressive methodology to crap on women, do you find it surprising that women aren't attracted? 2
soserious1 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 i didnt mean it like that AT ALL soserious1. and again the attitude in the end.... hm. nevermind. *sigh* threebyfate: ditto to you too. again, thinking things and saying things which arent true at all and believing in them. typical women behavior again? sorry you think like that. shame Once again, barring the occasional socially inept person who responds to an initial polite overture with a rude brush off, most people will say things like " thank you but I don't think we're compatible" or some variation of that. Polite, civil but clear.. they aren't interested & that's all they owe you. Nobody owes you a date, sex or a relationship & no they aren't required to respond to your advances with "gratitude" either, no matter how many times or how much effort you put into it. 1
ascendotum Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) It depends on the age and what you are looking for. Younger people tend to have more guidelines because life seems long and some are trying to find "the one." Older people, like divorcees, tend to settle because they just want companionship. Thats correct. The OP says 'as i got a little older i realized whats important...compatible, loyal, by my side when things get rough, etc.' Its easy to give this advice when you are older & sexy options don't abound, than to live by it when you are young. I know plenty of people who have changed their outlook once they hit mid 30s, and some used to write dates off because of their shoes, how far they parked away from the date, only having been overseas once, their hair style, the age of their car, weird hobby, playing with their knife at dinner, > 5 minutes late, etc. I agree with what someone else said, as long as they don't complain when they can't find their ideal partner, it really their issue if somone has a strick checklist. Edited April 23, 2012 by ascendotum
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Thats correct. The OP says 'as i got a little older i realized whats important...compatible, loyal, by my side when things get rough, etc.' Its easy to give this advice when you are older & sexy options don't abound, than to live by it when you are young. I know plenty of people who have changed their outlook once they hit mid 30s, and some used to write dates off because of their shoes, how far they parked away from the date, only having been overseas once, their hair style, the age of their car, weird hobby, playing with their knife at dinner, > 5 minutes late, etc. So the guys who are having it rough just have to wait a few years before trying to date and then they'll have it made. Sounds good. 1
ascendotum Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 So the guys who are having it rough just have to wait a few years before trying to date and then they'll have it made. Sounds good. In a way, but that's such a dispirited why to live, bidding your time until women lower their standards, and by then your outlook might likely have changed, and you might have 'f*** it' attiitude...since you've missed out on so many years, you now expect this & this and you're not putting up with this. You are still young, keep working on molding yourself to what you want to be and make the most of any opportunities to smile & get friendly with any sweet natured easy going girls that cross your path.
OhHey Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Screw that. If I have to have a list of NEEDS to be in a partner and mentally check them off as I date them....I'd not date. To me, yo umeet a random girl, talk to her and if she likes to be outside and ride =bikes and all that, yo get along and both attracted...that's your girl.... AKA someone you just click with without purposely going out with a check list and trying on different prospects.. You're not at JC Pennies, you're looking for a person to go hiking with and help you through life and have fun.... Screw check list. 1
spookie Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) Personally, I'll never understand people who feel the need to put down those whose standards they fail to meet. Edited April 23, 2012 by spookie 1
El Brujo Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 IMO only the most hardcore hookup types would bother to get it on with someone they don't even feel any attraction to. People tell me I'm extremely picky, and they're right. To me it's totally a waste of time to get involved with a woman I don't have anything in common with. Maybe I'm just being anal, but why would I want to be in a R, if I only wanted to get out because I knew the grass was greener somewhere else? That's one reason why I lost interest and gave up. I don't regard myself as a loser, because the only thing I lost is a load of frustration.
iris219 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Most people don't have a list of traits a mate must have (or they might, but they throw it away when they meet someone they think is awesome). I've never heard of anyone rejecting someone they had were attracted to and compatible with for a trivial reason. When you find amazing compatibility no one throws it away because the guy sometimes breathes with his mouth open. It's when you don't like him that it bothers (and repulses) you. It's not trivial if the way a man uses a knife literally makes me want to stab him with it (this has never happened, btw). It means I'm not in any way into him and shouldn't date him. I don't think most people are picky or have high standards at all. In fact, I don't think many people are picky enough.
WildHorses Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 It's important to have standards. I have a list. I have written out my 10 non-negotiables. Out of my top 10, I have the top 3 that the person must have, otherwise they are out. It was hard doing this task, but, I feel it is important to me. I want a top quality gentleman at my side. If I don't meet this man in my life, fine by me. I would rather be single, then with somebody and miserable.
FrustratedStandards Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 People with high standards wished they didn't have them, because it makes our dating life that much more difficult. And like you said, no one should date someone who they aren't attracted to. In my case, it takes a lot more than the average "standards" to make a man attractive. So it's harder for me to find a guy. We don't have high standards because we want to, we just can't help being attracted to a, b and c and if a man doesn't have all three, then we just can't help it, we aren't attracted. Most women settle for only one of those, some for two, but people with "strict standards" need all 3 to get turned on. I am one of those people.
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 well you remain single for longer and moan for longer too.... "cant find a decent guy" etc... i understand, believe me but also take a step back ... no one really likes a stuck up...**** and you are trying to find something that does not truely exist. i just find it, and others, really unreal and demeaning - thats all. but then i was brought up with morals and ethics and that "you have alot to offer" etc... where as now a days no one cares but only about themselves and looks, thats all.
Emilia Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 shame on you threebyfate. you didn't even read what he wrote. She did and I did. What he wrote was a dismissive comment 'typical women behaviour'. How can you take seriously someone who dismisses another person based on their sex rather than the argument? Let's just ignore 50% of the world population rather than discuss the matter as an adult? 1
Emilia Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 well you remain single for longer and moan for longer too.... "cant find a decent guy" etc... i understand, believe me but also take a step back ... no one really likes a stuck up...**** and you are trying to find something that does not truely exist. i just find it, and others, really unreal and demeaning - thats all. but then i was brought up with morals and ethics and that "you have alot to offer" etc... where as now a days no one cares but only about themselves and looks, thats all. Your problem is that you lack balls. You post under different usernames on this forum because you want to keep your main one to be seen as the good guy and spew your misogynistic c*** using other aliases. Have you ever thought that the reason you struggle with women you find attractive isn't your looks but your attitude? People pick up on a lot more than you give them credit for. Perhaps you are not as smart as you think? Perhaps a lot more creepy? 3
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) i dont even get how a poster said i have multiple usernames? LOL.where is the proof and evidence? typical british women behavior - lying, believing in things which aint true, shouting the odds and not accepting things at all and moan about it. lol. i find that funny and the fact that they become aggressive and rude when nothing was said to them in the first place. in addition to it, once again, saying things which aint true nor even trying to understand but only care and think in their own world than in REALITY its no wonder there are alot of "messed up" people and false allegations made (especially in the uk) and no doubt you contribute to that. it is sad and a shame and feel sorry for the guys who have been with you and who have been messed around. i just dont get why there is a lack of support in this community as of recently. why bother coming on and shouting the odds? is that how you get off and satisfy yourself? complete waste of time and uncalled for really. if you arent willing to understand, help or even as little as think about the other person then really, it shows all about you the person - and not in a good way either. it also shows you arent willing to think about anyone else but yourself at all - another poor quality (if you want to start personal attacks which I never did, nor has any other member here). at least im the better person here as i dont contribute to that but instead put up with it unnecessarily. sorry if you are having a tough time but dont take it out on someone innocent or decent and who actually states the reality of things. after all, this is a supportive forum and community. the likes of the opposite are not welcome Edited April 23, 2012 by firehawk_1
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 (edited) no. think americans are awesome. far better and far more grounded and understanding. less game play (yes, i know hard to believe!). and less self involved here lies the evidence and proof - backstabbing and treating your own wrongly and badly and wont even listen but instead come up with ridiculous things and "attacks". pretty childish really on all levels. it is also no wonder that majority of folks here are disfunctional (where I am) and the country is a laughing stock too - and such behavior is shown here already. i always thought that one should be proud of their country. im not (sorry) and for the right reasons stated previously. if there was, then i wouldnt be saying the truth and reality but I am. further more, nothing done to make me feel proud of the country I am in.... but instead keep adding insult to injury (yup, typical british behavior) Edited April 23, 2012 by firehawk_1
soserious1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 well you remain single for longer and moan for longer too.... "cant find a decent guy" etc... i understand, believe me but also take a step back ... no one really likes a stuck up...**** and you are trying to find something that does not truely exist. i just find it, and others, really unreal and demeaning - thats all. but then i was brought up with morals and ethics and that "you have alot to offer" etc... where as now a days no one cares but only about themselves and looks, thats all. So you will date any & all? you'll proudly go out head held high with a 300 pound woman on your arm simply because she repeatedly approached you? 1
soserious1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 what the hell are you smokeing? This thread is devoted to basically bashing people aka women, who will refuse to date a guy because he doesn't meet their standards. Since the OP & his supporters considered standards that are based on looks to be "shallow" and unfair I figured that all of you will be willing to date ANY woman who expresses an interest in you, seeing as you all have "morals and ethics" and such. 2
123321 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 When looking for a partner,im not saying you should have no standards date somebody youre not attracted to or that you dont have very strong feelings for Im talking about people who are tryign to find the perfect person and if they lack 1 of 100 things on the checklist theyre no longer an option Why do you care what other people decide to do while they date?
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 the fairer gender has strange ways of coming up with standards. if a man is a lying player, that's an advantage. if he wants to **** her on date one, advantage. if he's a bully, advantage. exactly. its not about bashing but being honest and putting it out there. sorry if some people cant accept it...again, typical women behavior? lol dont like it, then dont do it. its that simple. talking about experience here and again if you cant accept it, then walk away and stop trying to say things which arent true. far too many unrealistic standards and we are just saying how it is. again dont like it, then dont do it or read it you have to acknowledge your own faults and stupidity since you wont realise it because of the ever grown list
soserious1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 When looking for a partner,im not saying you should have no standards date somebody youre not attracted to or that you dont have very strong feelings for Im talking about people who are tryign to find the perfect person and if they lack 1 of 100 things on the checklist theyre no longer an option One of the biggest advantages of OLDS sites is that they allow a person to connect with a much bigger selection of people than they might otherwise connect with in real time. If you are looking for a very specific type of person to date, the odds that you'll be able to find them are MUCH better. Selection criteria goes up when there's an abundance of potential dates, simply really. 1
soserious1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 one a year is such an abundance. theres just an abundance for your gender. Once again, nobody "owes" another person a date, sex or a relationship 1
firehawk_1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 If you are looking for a very specific type of person to date, the odds that you'll be able to find them are MUCH better. Selection criteria goes up when there's an abundance of potential dates, simply really. I do see that point however i dont think that really holds true. most likely you wont find that person because again, you are looking for something so specific that doesnt exist. maybe in your own mind but not in reality. and thats the problem - thats why there are so many people (men AND women) being messed around, losing faith/hope/whatever and then dont make the effort at all causing the "specifics" to be lost completely. at the same time the person doesnt owe anything if you are looking for "specifics". then why even bother with the whole searching for a partner thing if there is no "owe" (or something to that line)
ThaWholigan Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 @firehawk So what is your solution to their problem? They drop their standards......then what??
soserious1 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I do see that point however i dont think that really holds true. most likely you wont find that person because again, you are looking for something so specific that doesnt exist. maybe in your own mind but not in reality. and thats the problem - thats why there are so many people (men AND women) being messed around, losing faith/hope/whatever and then dont make the effort at all causing the "specifics" to be lost completely LOL, all people have the right to decide whom they will & won't date based on standards of their choosing. I don't have to date the divorced father of three who's looking for a women to help him rear his kids & pay his bills, no matter how often he might approach me, no matter how badly he might wish that I would "give him a shot" Btw, If nobody is interested in dating you , does it really matter if you pull your dating profile down & storm off in a huff? 1
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