ex of 2 years, dating right after break up, rebound or not?

[whattodough]

So my ex of 2 years broke up with me early March, come to find out she started meeting guys online the next day. She dated a guy a few weeks but ended that, and is now dating another guy, and is in a relationship according to FB with him after only having met him in person for 10 days. The strange thing is she's hiding the relationship from all her friends, etc. so the only way I know is by viewing the guy's profile. Any reason she might do this? She doesn't want people to think negatively that she's jumping into a relationship so soon? Or perhaps, she's not really ready to be labeled as such with a guy she's only met for 10 days? Or a mix of the 2? She also added the guy's sister as a friend too, who lives out of state and I assume she hasn't met. I just feel like this is all super fast out of a 2 year relationship, and I'm wondering if this could be classified as a rebound or not? And if so/if no how much of an impact this relationship may have on us ever getting back together.

 

Thanks.

[january2011]

Why are you monitoring what she does online?

 

You're not together anymore. Spare yourself more pain and torture. Go NC, remove her details from all media. How she leads her life right now isn't really any of your concern. She's an adult and can make her own life decisions/mistakes.

 

Focus on self-care.

[whattodough]

january, I hear you. I shouldn't that's for sure. I've been definitely doing the self care thing, eating better/exercise/work productivity, the whole shabang. Come to find out, she told her friend seeing me making a post regards to dieting, or any sort of self improvement has continued to cause "resentment" for her towards me. Granted I've only made mention on my own feed, not hers. She feels that its an insult for me to work on myself now because I didn't as much when we were together and she's taking it personally, yet she keeps me in her feed/friends, itd be easy enough for her to remove display of my stuff. But I do need to stop checking her profile as you say. I'm not sure I can bring myself to deleting her though.

[january2011]

She feels that its an insult for me to work on myself now because I didn't as much when we were together and she's taking it personally

 

That's a bit rich.

 

You can't help how she feels. You can only focus on yourself. If you really can't delete, at least hide the feed. You're not ready to hear news about her yet. I'd also suggest that you tell friends to stop updating you on her movements. You don't want to know. You're not together anymore and it's none of your business what she does.

 

I know it's tough. But you really don't need the distractions right now.

[whattodough]

I imagine I should cut communication with her? She hasn't initiated but, I text occasionally, and we've had conversations over a few hours each. I know I should try not to read into things though, especially if shes dating someone, regardless of the fact they just met eh? Obviously I'd like to work things out, she actually broke up with me in July, and in October we tried again, things were great, til we flew to visit her friend and her friend told my ex she was "unhappy and tense" (seeing us together for 3 days, mind you), and that she should break up to me. As insecure as my ex is, she took the advice to heart, (on the plane home after a minor dispute...) and the rest is history.

[january2011]

Yes, NC is advised because it gives you the space and time to heal. I suspect that your contact merely serves to feed her ego and cause you more pain. Since she is with someone else now, I think it's a good reason to leave her/them to it.

[whattodough]

Since you mentioned her ego, I think her ego has really swelled from what I've been told, all the attention she's getting on these dating sites, and the way she's talking about the guys she met/meets, putting them down, mocking them (mocking me), it's just not who she was. I don't know if its show for her friend, but it's really ego filled.

[january2011]

Sounds like she is not the person you knew anymore.

[Philosoraptor]

She is doing what makes things the easiest for her. While it may not be the most productive way to heal, she is making her choice. She is in a lot of pain and still feels slighted regarding the breakup.

 

Rebounding is much easier than taking a look in the mirror and dealing with what you see. Many, if not most people rebound in some form or another. Some stay angry for months and years then rebound way down the line... some jump right away.

 

Just accept that everyone has control over their own path and there is nothing you can do to change that.

[Mcnulty]

You have to cut all contact...cyber included.

 

Rebound?...Doesn't matter what you want to call it. My ex, nc for 6 months now, went off with my friend without telling me, I'm still getting over it...but, she is still with him. Rebounds can easily develop into a relationship, so I would never say to anyone, put your life on hold, wait, it will fail...it might not and then, where does that leave you if you still have hope?

 

Also karma, doesn't exist in my book, it's all chance. My ex could be happy with him, i don't want to know, i keep NC and will, self preservation. Some people will say, ah, but she may be happy now, but she will one day get her come-uppance...that's bollocks, so could I or you and that would be down to the hand of fate and chance, nothing else.

 

Please try to move on from her - good luck.