threebyfate Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 From observations, the best flirts are the ones who infer rather than bull their way through. Also observed is how familiar one can be while flirting. Too much familiarity will creep women out since it pushes at their boundaries. Anyways, for those who've observed or are good at flirting, please share your observations/skills for the flirtation challenged on this site. This can include flirting with another member(s) as inferred examples.
january2011 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 This can include flirting with another member(s) as inferred examples. Can. Of. Worms. As a starting point, the O/T thread contains a number of examples. Especially in recent times.
johan Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I'll be following this thread, looking for tips. Flirting has always been my Achilles heel. 1
Author threebyfate Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 Can. Of. Worms. As a starting point, the O/T thread contains a number of examples. Especially in recent times.Why would this be a can of worms? If anything, observing flirtation in action is one of the best ways to learn, in that you're learning through osmosis. What I have noticed for the flirtation challenged on LS, is that they lean towards using blunt force instruments to flirt. As far as the OT thread, not everyone views it and shouldn't have to.
JesseJames Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Read the girl, read the setting... basically the whole situation. If I'm being a hero at a craps table and a girl walks up to me, I'm going to flirt by dogging on her a little. If I'm being a sob at some place of alcohol, I'm going to flirt by getting as piss drunk as she is and act as foolish as her. If I'm alone in a quiet setting having coffee, I'm going to flirt by waiting out the few fat ones that take notice and then go after the hot, skinny one. This is indirect flirting because it shows I have standards. If I'm in a school, I'm going to flirt by seeming utterly brilliant, which I am, because they most likely hate their teachers. And so forth.
Fondue Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Similarly, we need a thread on what is considered NOT flirting. So many times have I been mistaken for flirting when I was trying to have a conversation with a person. It's weird. Talking to someone is NOT flirting. This is especially misconstrued when you speak with someone new. The opposite has happened to me. I was talking to someone, back and forth, general banter, and then someone said, "SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU, WHY ARE YOU NOT PICKING UP ON IT?" Here I am thinking it was a normal conversation. From my experience, flirting involved a little bit of button-pushing. You don't necessarily have to compliment anyone, but you have to tease and laugh about it. At least, this is the form of flirting I'm familiar with it. It's always lightly throwing cute verbal jabs at one another. 1
january2011 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I don't disagree that observation is a good way to learn for some and I can see that you have good intentions. However, my first thought was that inviting people to flirt on a thread leaves it vulnerable to going O/T very quickly. It sounds like you disagree. That's fine. Can't please everyone all the time, unfortunately. I agree, not everyone views the O/T thread. However, you asked for examples and I put up a signpost. I think that's reasonable.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 It's easier to flirt with people you know already than with strangers. It's also easier to flirt online because you have more time to react and think.
JesseJames Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 It's easier to flirt with people you know already than with strangers. It's also easier to flirt online because you have more time to react and think. No. No. No. No. No. 4
ThaWholigan Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 It's easier to flirt with people you know already than with strangers. It's also easier to flirt online because you have more time to react and think. Yeah, but that's quite a limited way to flirt, that's like two of many avenues. I find the best way to flirt is to tease. It's the most effective method of flirting that I've used so far, and the funniest thing is I never even realised until like months later . You have to refine your mind to be able to verbally spar (lightly) with anyone very quickly. As someone who raps, it's important to learn this skill if you're freestyling or battling. I'm not good at either, so that shows you where I'm at flirting wise, but it's best to be conscious of that, and also conscious of the fact that you can improve your flirting. Everyone's flirting style is quite unique to them and their character. Find your character and see how your flirting compliments that character.
sid3 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Read the girl, read the setting... basically the whole situation. If I wasn't so scared of girls that's what I'd do.
ThaWholigan Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 If I wasn't so scared of girls that's what I'd do. Hear that, although I was less scared of girls than I was of humiliation by any gender at points. The only thing worse than being socially awkward is being 100% that you are being socially awkward . Respond to that fear by simply learning to like it because it won't go away. As much as you learn not to feel fear in some instances, in the context of flirting, you will meet a girl that no matter how confident you are, she will be so hot that she will make you a little bit nervous. As long as you know how to deal with your nerves, you will be alright in any case. At least that's how I understand it....
cerridwen Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 From observations, the best flirts are the ones who infer rather than bull their way through <snip> :mad::mad: 1
Feelin Frisky Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Good flirting to me means being quick to the draw with sly humor that is not smarmy or in poor taste. The goal is to get a place of some positive interest in someone else's head without giving yourself away as a cous hound on the make. I had a lot of male friends when I was younger who were awful at this and abstaining alone was spoke positively of me--it'gotta have place and time and context or you're just a creep. Being clever and quick on top of that without being a predictable sleazebag gets you somewhere favorable in other people's minds. I had a brash fellow supervisor who was female come up to me in front of my mostly female staff one time and try to make me blush by offering me a chocolate ball. She phrased it boisterously and sexually as "hey Jim, wanna ball?" Fast as I sometimes am, I opened my desk draw and took out a long screw that had come out of a chair that I had known was there and held it up to her saying "sure Barb, I was hoping you might wanna screw". That went over very well and you can't teach that kind of resourcefulness. No real screw and I would have been a jerk. (Sorry if I've told this story before. It was a highlight of my adult life. ) 1
verhrzn Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 If you're a woman, be attractive. The end. If you're a guy, be forward and confident.
SmileFace Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 If you're a woman, be forward and confident. The end. If you're a guy, be forward and confident. I fixed it for you. 3
sid3 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Anyways, for those who've observed or are good at flirting, please share your observations/skills for the flirtation challenged on this site. So which one are you TBF? Good or among the challenged?
wwwjd Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Use my newly developed* SELQ system: Smile Eye contact Listen Question * hardbound, CD and DVD versions available soon at finer book stores near you.
Author threebyfate Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 So which one are you TBF? Good or among the challenged?Somewhere in between.
verhrzn Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I fixed it for you. The articles and books I've read... every single one of them... have said that being "forward" as a woman is the kiss of death in flirting. Instead, be "open and approachable" and "smile a lot." AKA, be attractive. Seriously, I'd love to do an LS experiment in which you take an attractive girl, and I bet you can have her doing ANY kind of activity and acting in any way that isn't outright loony, and she'll have guys hitting on her. It's just the law of the universe.... hot girls get hit on.
Kamille Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I'm a very shy flirt. I usually build up from signs of interest. This is what I naturally did on yesterday's date with cute guy. Stand (comfortably) close. Place self in their line of vision. Have body turned their way. Did not feel comfortable enough doing the following (who are usually wonderful at letting know I'm interested). Touch Look at their lips. And then of course, there's the verbal banter. For me, that's personality specific, so the best I can offer is : "Have fun being yourself" or be the person you want to be in your ideal relationship. If the other person doesn't respond, they're probably not your match.
SmileFace Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 The articles and books I've read... every single one of them... have said that being "forward" as a woman is the kiss of death in flirting. Instead, be "open and approachable" and "smile a lot." AKA, be attractive. Seriously, I'd love to do an LS experiment in which you take an attractive girl, and I bet you can have her doing ANY kind of activity and acting in any way that isn't outright loony, and she'll have guys hitting on her. It's just the law of the universe.... hot girls get hit on. Is what you explained as atteactive. Smiling and approachable ... Isnt that the same as confident and forward?
ThaWholigan Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 The articles and books I've read... every single one of them... have said that being "forward" as a woman is the kiss of death in flirting. Instead, be "open and approachable" and "smile a lot." AKA, be attractive. Seriously, I'd love to do an LS experiment in which you take an attractive girl, and I bet you can have her doing ANY kind of activity and acting in any way that isn't outright loony, and she'll have guys hitting on her. It's just the law of the universe.... hot girls get hit on. You'd be surprised. The truly hottest girls I met and knew were single because NOBODY would hit on them. And the ones who were taken were dating some guys who would normally be considered undesirable, some weren't even attractive. It was because they somehow were the ONLY ones who hit on them. This is an experience that is more common than you would think where I live. I was guilty of it too, I never hit on the hot girls I liked, even though I knew nobody else was. Brings to mind the mistakes I made with the girl I liked .....
johan Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 So which one are you TBF? Good or among the challenged? She can hold her own. 1
verhrzn Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Is what you explained as atteactive. Smiling and approachable ... Isnt that the same as confident and forward? I see forward as approaching first. What did you mean as "forward"?
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