starla33 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 it seems like he was really trying to get laid and Im looking for a boyfriend. So the guy seemed extremely annoyed that I was not going to have sex with him. I wonder if I will hear from him again? What part of me putting that I'm looking for a boyfriend in my online profile does not come through? I put that crap in BOLD letters.
firehawk_1 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 move on. its how it is unfortunately these days. if he cannot respect your wishes or desires then... no point being with him.
Author starla33 Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 move on. its how it is unfortunately these days. if he cannot respect your wishes or desires then... no point being with him. that sucks I actually liked him
firehawk_1 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I know. its the same with guys in this situation. it does suck and its horrible
Casablanca Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 that sucks I actually liked him You'll meet others, but yeah just leave him be...not worth your time..dont let idiots boys keep you down, there seem to be a lot of idiot males online
Author starla33 Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 You'll meet others, but yeah just leave him be...not worth your time..dont let idiots boys keep you down, there seem to be a lot of idiot males online He is not very far from being 40!!! I thought older = want to settle down.
truth_seeker Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 He is not very far from being 40!!! I thought older = want to settle down. The way people are today, it seems men and women want easy options. 2
Flummox Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 He is not very far from being 40!!! I thought older = want to settle down. Maybe he just isn't the type to settle down or else he would've by now.
oaks Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 You want a boyfriend. You think he wants to have sex. Why are you treating these are mutually incompatible positions? Or did you want a boyfriend who doesn't want sex? 1
Author starla33 Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 You want a boyfriend. You think he wants to have sex. Why are you treating these are mutually incompatible positions? Or did you want a boyfriend who doesn't want sex? Haha of course I want a boyfriend that wants sex!!! I like sex...but to me if a guy wants it that early on it screams that he is not looking for a relationship.
RedRobin Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Haha of course I want a boyfriend that wants sex!!! I like sex...but to me if a guy wants it that early on it screams that he is not looking for a relationship. ...or like some people, he wants YOU to assume all the risk. I agree with you. Men who push for sex early are not good choices for women who want a relationship. If guys don't like having that impression leveled against them, then they can learn to be more polite. Yep, move on. ... and to answer your earlier question. Why do guys ignore what you put in black and white on your profile? Because sometimes they get away with it. You did come here and ask awhile back about this guy, and you went on the date anyway. Next time you know not to even bother going on the date, right? by the way... age has nothing to do with wanting to settle down. That's a farce that some older men play up so that they can get younger women. Best to take each person as an individual.
Author starla33 Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 ...or like some people, he wants YOU to assume all the risk. I agree with you. Men who push for sex early are not good choices for women who want a relationship. If guys don't like having that impression leveled against them, then they can learn to be more polite. Yep, move on. ... and to answer your earlier question. Why do guys ignore what you put in black and white on your profile? Because sometimes they get away with it. You did come here and ask awhile back about this guy, and you went on the date anyway. Next time you know not to even bother going on the date, right? by the way... age has nothing to do with wanting to settle down. That's a farce that some older men play up so that they can get younger women. Best to take each person as an individual. Yeah I agree, but a guy in his 30's is usually more ready to settle down than a guy in his 20's. Am I wrong on this?
RedRobin Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Yeah I agree, but a guy in his 30's is usually more ready to settle down than a guy in his 20's. Am I wrong on this? One would assume so, yes. I guess all I'm saying is don't jump to conclusions just based on age. Make sure their words and actions line up. You could be ruling out some men closer to your age who are more ready and willing to commit than any 30 or 40 something. Online is a weird world.
oaks Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Haha of course I want a boyfriend that wants sex!!! I like sex...but to me if a guy wants it that early on it screams that he is not looking for a relationship. Ok, so we've established that sex is okay and it's just his timing that is off. So rather than 'nexting' him, how about you use this handy phrase: "no, it's too soon." Or this one: "I'm not ready yet." Or this one: "You're moving too fast." Don't be upset that he wants sex, when you want him to want sex (just not yet) and don't throw out the chance of having a bf over a minor issue of timing. (disclaimer: he might not be suitable for 1001 other reasons) 1
firehawk_1 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 dont be too judgemental here. if the guy wants sex early then its up to you if you feel the same. if you both do then great.... if not then the person should hold on until you are both ready. having sex earlier on isnt always a bad thing.
PhillyDude Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 One would assume so, yes. I guess all I'm saying is don't jump to conclusions just based on age. Make sure their words and actions line up. You could be ruling out some men closer to your age who are more ready and willing to commit than any 30 or 40 something. Online is a weird world. Weird people are Offline too
SJC2008 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 What did he do to show he's wanting sex right away?
PhillyDude Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 What did he do to show he's wanting sex right away? Unless the OP went to his APT or invited him up to hers which is a big NO NO if you have no intentions of being intimate
Author starla33 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 Unless the OP went to his APT or invited him up to hers which is a big NO NO if you have no intentions of being intimate Oh well he drove me home and lived far away so asked to come in for a bit...I mean if he didn't live so far I would def say no, but I didn't want him to be driving around for 2 hours straight. I made it very clear though that sex would not happen, but he tried anyway.
PhillyDude Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Oh well he drove me home and lived far away so asked to come in for a bit...I mean if he didn't live so far I would def say no, but I didn't want him to be driving around for 2 hours straight. I made it very clear though that sex would not happen, but he tried anyway. What about just hugging and kissing?
Author starla33 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 What about just hugging and kissing? What does this have anything to do with the guy trying to have sex with me on a 2nd date I don't get it. You can go to someones house and not have sex! Obviously there was a lot of making out but I did tell him I do NOT have sex that early on.
Emilia Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 What does this have anything to do with the guy trying to have sex with me on a 2nd date I don't get it. You can go to someones house and not have sex! Obviously there was a lot of making out but I did tell him I do NOT have sex that early on. I second what oaks said completely. Why do you find it offensive that he wants to have sex with you? He is a man with a normal sex drive. He fancies you. The only thing you have to do is asking him to wait a bit (which he probably expects anyway). You were even making out with him! I would struggle not to try to go further if I was making out with a guy I fancied. It's completely normal. 1
PhillyDude Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 What does this have anything to do with the guy trying to have sex with me on a 2nd date I don't get it. You can go to someones house and not have sex! Obviously there was a lot of making out but I did tell him I do NOT have sex that early on. Oh ok, I thought there was no intimacy at all. Well I guess he is a SEX ADDICT because atleast yall made out but just didn't go the extra mile. Now i thought you was just saying that you invited him upstairs and it was no kind of affection or intimacy because that would have been just weird
Author starla33 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 Oh ok, I thought there was no intimacy at all. Well I guess he is a SEX ADDICT because atleast yall made out but just didn't go the extra mile. Now i thought you was just saying that you invited him upstairs and it was no kind of affection or intimacy because that would have been just weird Um of course not I'm super affectionate. Lets see if he asks me out again...ha because if not I know exactly what he was after.
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