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To the men/women that complain about the opposite sex have you asked yourself this

joystickd

By joystickd
in Dating

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threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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Well, out the window goes that whole "Be confident there's nothing wrong with you!" So, I'm single because something IS wrong with me, but I should be confident that something is wrong with me, and that I'm just single for no reason...

 

Ugh dating is becoming more and more like that riddle about how to get two hens, a fox and a bag of corn across the river in one boat without them all eating each other...

Don't you dare make this thread all about yourself again.

 

But I will address your issues. You believe yourself to be ugly, therefore you become what you believe.

 

Much like somedude, you're solely looking at the literal definition of "good". "Good" can be defined as valid, in the sense that if you believe yourself to be "ugly", you become as such.

jobaba Established Member

jobaba

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Mainly it's because I'm not good at flirting and I wait too long to ask girls out.

 

Do they sound like good reasons why I'm single?

 

Where somebody can say, "That SD81, he's never going to be able to hold a GF because he's not good at flirting."

 

That's ludicrous.

 

The reason that you are single is that you are not aggressive enough.

 

Man. One of my female friends was driving in her car and was stopped at a traffic light and a guy on a motorcycle next to her tried to hit on her. And she is NOT a knockout. She's SQUARELY average. Remember, you have to compete with guys like that.

 

If you were taller, you might not have to be as aggressive. Meh. So be it.

 

It's the way the game is. No one is going to cut you any slack in youre a shy passive man. Women wont. Play the game or go crawl back in your hole. I'm going to play the game again myself soon enough.

 

God. Kill me now. :lmao:

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

Posted
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You pulled this from an article entitled

 

In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seekers and other manipulators

 

Continue reading on Examiner.com In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seekers and other manipulators - Los Angeles Men's Dating Advice | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/article/in-defense-of-lying-womanizers-gold-diggers-attention-seekers-and-other-manipulators#ixzz1snZ1164s.

 

Hmph.

 

Have you actually even read the article?

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Hey, how did you know that? :)

 

Because the OP sounded nothing like how the OP actually writes, so I knew it had to have been written like someone else.

 

And so, I Googled it.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Not really.

1. The one deliberately manipulating and/or abusing, is the bad guy, and bad guys are there to be blamed.

2. Some manipulators are great at what they do and it doesn't feel like you're being played.

 

Basically, someone who earnestly invests themselves whole-heartedly and really can see no evil, is a victim and we do we end up if we start blaming victims?

 

Exactly. this is why I don't do OLD anymore. I like the social filters of my friends and family most of the time. They are not going to let the seriously f-ed up past go. And I return the favor for them.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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God. Kill me now. :lmao:

 

Kill me first...

 

(I read the news in your other thread. Very sorry to hear that).

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JesseJames Established Member

JesseJames

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All I'm looking for is a rich girl. I whine and complain and scream and kick all I want, but so many still refuse to make a fortune.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Don't you dare make this thread all about yourself again..

 

easy. Stop responding and quoting to people who won't help themselves.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Mainly it's because I'm not good at flirting and I wait too long to ask girls out.

 

Do they sound like good reasons why I'm single?

 

Where somebody can say, "That SD81, he's never going to be able to hold a GF because he's not good at flirting."

 

That's ludicrous.

 

Dude. There's a guy who has been circling around me for years that I routinely see at Starbucks and who I used to work with.

 

He prefers to spend his time trying to date women he meets on Eharmony for some reason. Do I think he's attracted to me? I know he is.

 

I refuse to ask him out or do what RR usually does in situations like this. I even joked around to him about throwing a man over my shoulder and having my way with him. He laughed. I think that is actually what he wants me to do to him. And I could.

 

But I refuse. He's going to have to meet me half-way or forget it. You MUST learn to take responsibility and start taking initiative.

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PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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Don't you dare make this thread all about yourself again.

 

But I will address your issues. You believe yourself to be ugly, therefore you become what you believe.

 

Much like somedude, you're solely looking at the literal definition of "good". "Good" can be defined as valid, in the sense that if you believe yourself to be "ugly", you become as such.

I'd also like to get a free analysis. :laugh:

PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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Because the OP sounded nothing like how the OP actually writes, so I knew it had to have been written like someone else.

 

And so, I Googled it.

Well spotted! :D

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

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I'd also like to get a free analysis. :laugh:
As a guess, you're another regular member. Without knowing which member, it's difficult to provide analysis.
PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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As a guess, you're another regular member. Without knowing which member, it's difficult to provide analysis.

Hm?? :confused:

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Because the OP sounded nothing like how the OP actually writes, so I knew it had to have been written like someone else.

 

And so, I Googled it.

 

I actually had posted it in another thread

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Well spotted! :D

 

Not really if she had checked out my threads the article was up there. It would have saved the energy lol

Content Established Member

Content

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Sometimes people just have bad luck in who they meet,i have friends who were cheated on and had their heart ripped out who were married and there were zero signs that their s/o was this type of person

 

I know it makes us feel better if we think we have control over people or the person were with or how they treat us but truth is people change or sometimes people hide their true intentions so the possiblity to get hurt in a relationship is always there

 

Lifes not always fair which scares some people but its true,

 

Its not always what the person did or invited to get hurt its just how relationships and people are there is no total control over that as much as wed like to think so for our own sanity

Edited by Content
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PlumPrincess Established Member

PlumPrincess

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As a guess, you're another regular member. Without knowing which member, it's difficult to provide analysis.

Oh, I got it now. Since I started this one, I've been mainly using this account.

 

I think my problem is I'm quite commitment phobic. And deep down inside I'm superneedy and incredibly insecure. But I also have a big ego and a bad temper.

 

I'm confusing, I know... :confused:

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joystickd Established Member

joystickd

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Sometimes people just have bad luck in who they meet,i have friends who were cheated on and had their heart ripped out who were married and there were zero signs that their s/o was this type of person

 

I know it makes us feel better if we think we have control over people or the person were with or how they treat us but truth is people change or sometimes people hide their true intentions so the possiblity to get hurt in a relationship is always there

 

Lifes not always fair which scares some people but its true,

 

Its not always what the person did or invited to get hurt its just how relationships and people are there is no total control over that as much as wed like to think so for our own sanity

 

At some point though the signs were there but they failed to really take notice.

  • Like 1
jobaba Established Member

jobaba

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At some point though the signs were there but they failed to really take notice.

 

I agree with this. My people picker is usually pretty critical and pretty good. Even women who have rejected me have respected me and continued to treat me well as a friend.

 

But the times I have been off, the signs were there pretty early. Emotions get in the way.

Content Established Member

Content

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At some point though the signs were there but they failed to really take notice.

 

Yes they came a year into the marriage and 12 years after knowing the person

soserious1 Established Member

soserious1

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What sort of behavior am I exhibiting that is inviting and/or motivating deceitful or manipulative behavior from members of the opposite sex? Am I as upfront and straightforward with all of my true desires, interests and intentions as I can be?

 

Yes i have thought long & hard about it. I've come to realize that not being able to accept my lowered value in the dating market set me up to be the perfect mark. An opportunistic man saw a foolish old broad & took me for everything I was worth.

 

I am not date worthy going forward because I am not willing to lower my standards simply because I'm middle aged, in order to get a man chances are excellent that I'm going to have to accept a divorced guy with children or a man who earns significantly less than I do. I'm not interested in "supporting my man" or "sharing" my time or money again with a prospective partner or in signing up to be responsible for step-children (yuck). I stay alone now by choice, deliberately selecting only men who desire no strings attached, purely casual sexual relationships.

 

So yes, I understand very clearly the mistakes I made that caused me to end up with my ex-husband and have chosen a life course to prevent myself from making the same mistake again.

Edited by soserious1
threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
Posted
why is agressiveness at such a premium? i'm not an agressive person and when i've tried to pretend to be agressive it had disasterous results.
People confuse being assertive to being aggressive, being brash/cocky (overconfidence/arrogance), to being confident.

 

More helpful would be that passivity in men most often won't get you a date or relationship.

jobaba Established Member

jobaba

Posted
Posted
why is agressiveness at such a premium? i'm not an agressive person and when i've tried to pretend to be agressive it had disasterous results.

 

Competition from other men.

 

I've never dated a woman that has not had stories of being approached in public or catcalled or had men offer them some kind of gifts for their affection unreciprocated.

 

If in general you're not a guy that women normally 'like', then you are going to have to be more aggressive ... not necessarily in a sense of being gruff, but in terms of approaching many women.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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hes like i am. can't read women. he doesn't the attraction goes both ways or doesn't know you are single.

 

naah. He knows I'm single. I think he keeps trolling the dating sites because he is holding out hope for a younger or even much younger woman than himself. When I was doing OLD, I saw his profile. So this isn't just speculation.

 

Even though he's attracted to me, he appears to continue to hold onto his dream of marrying a much younger woman higher than being happy.

 

His choice.

 

In that respect, he and SD have alot in common.

 

It won't be long before I just smile and keep walking when I see him instead of allowing him to engage in conversation with me or initiate with him.

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

Posted
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naah. He knows I'm single. I think he keeps trolling the dating sites because he is holding out hope for a younger or even much younger woman than himself. When I was doing OLD, I saw his profile. So this isn't just speculation.

 

Even though he's attracted to me, he appears to continue to hold onto his dream of marrying a much younger woman higher than being happy.

 

His choice.

 

In that respect, he and SD have alot in common.

 

It won't be long before I just smile and keep walking when I see him instead of allowing him to engage in conversation with me or initiate with him.

 

Why are you going to start ignoring him?

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