To the men/women that complain about the opposite sex have you asked yourself this

[joystickd]

What sort of behavior am I exhibiting that is inviting and/or motivating deceitful or manipulative behavior from members of the opposite sex? Am I as upfront and straightforward with all of my true desires, interests and intentions as I can be?

[threebyfate]

Most often, people who are single are single for good reason(s).

[TheBigQuestion]

The few complaints I have about the opposite sex have little to do with women I've actually dated. It has more to do with what I see in the world.

[threebyfate]

The few complaints I have about the opposite sex have little to do with women I've actually dated. It has more to do with what I see in the world.

The big question would then be, if other people don't impact on your dating world, why are you complaining about them?

[somedude81]

Most often, people who are single are single for good reason(s).

I don't really know about that.

 

For a lot of the guys who just don't do well with women, don't actually have a good reason why not.

[USMCHokie]

The big question would then be, if other people don't impact on your dating world, why are you complaining about them?

 

Because everyone that I'm complaining about won't date me...

[threebyfate]

For continued periods, maybe.

Most often, people are addressing issues, have specific requirements or want to be single. The final bunch are the whiners who refuse to change or even accept that they're the only constant in either their lack of dating or inability to retain relationships. It's everyone else's fault...always.

[threebyfate]

I don't really know about that.

 

For a lot of the guys who just don't do well with women, don't actually have a good reason why not.

Sure they do. Most often, they refuse to acknowledge why, no matter how many people give them advice.

 

Because everyone that I'm complaining about won't date me...

You just need a swift kick in the confidence pants to boot you up a level.

[january2011]

From: http://www.toltecspirit.com

 

2) Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

I think it's good to be self-aware. However, it's too much to ask people to take responsibility for the actions of others.

[TheBigQuestion]

The big question would then be, if other people don't impact on your dating world, why are you complaining about them?

 

Why shouldn't I comment on some widespread traits I see just because I've been smart and/or lucky enough to avoid the women that embody them?

 

Is a wealthy person barred from commenting on a government policy that only negatively affects poorer people?

 

Did you even think before you asked that question?

[verhrzn]

From: http://www.toltecspirit.com

 

 

 

I think it's good to be self-aware. However, it's too much to ask people to take responsibility for the actions of others.

 

Agreed. It's a little too close to the "oh I made you hit me, baby." Sometimes people are just jerks, and it has absolutely nothing to do with who you are. And the whole idea that someone is manipulative and yet you can see through them is ridiculous... if you KNOW you're being manipulated, then the other person isn't good at manipulation.

 

People are not mind-readers... they can be lied to or manipulated and be none the wiser, and it's not fair to blame them for not instinctively knowing/guessing.

[Star Gazer]

What sort of behavior am I exhibiting that is inviting and/or motivating deceitful or manipulative behavior from members of the opposite sex? Am I as upfront and straightforward with all of my true desires, interests and intentions as I can be?

 

You pulled this from an article entitled

 

In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seekers and other manipulators

 

Continue reading on Examiner.com In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seekers and other manipulators - Los Angeles Men's Dating Advice | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/article/in-defense-of-lying-womanizers-gold-diggers-attention-seekers-and-other-manipulators#ixzz1snZ1164s.

 

Hmph.

[threebyfate]

Why shouldn't I comment on some widespread traits I see just because I've been smart and/or lucky enough to avoid the women that embody them?

 

Is a wealthy person barred from commenting on a government policy that only negatively affects poorer people?

 

Did you even think before you asked that question?

It's interesting to note that all the women you've dated don't fall within the general trend and yet, the rest of womankind does. Pick apart your own logic. It's fairly easy to do.

[somedude81]

Sure they do. Most often, they refuse to acknowledge why, no matter how many people give them advice.

The advice is meant to help get a date, it doesn't actually do anything to explain why they are single.

 

I'm talking about where you can talk about one of the guys here point out something and go, that is why he is single.

[Pompom]

While this is a very valid question and often justified, there are those who will manipulate people regardless of how the latter present themselves. While part of our interpersonal behavior is influenced by who we're dealing with, we are still us and not chameleons who act differently with every one we interact with. Slight differences sure, but not to the point of wearing a mask. Chameleon behavior is for sociopaths.

[threebyfate]

The advice is meant to help get a date, it doesn't actually do anything to explain why they are single.

 

I'm talking about where you can talk about one of the guys here point out something and go, that is why he is single.

Tell me truthfully. Haven't you personally received advice as to why you're single?

[PlumPrincess]

You pulled this from an article entitled

 

In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seekers and other manipulators

 

Continue reading on Examiner.com In defense of lying womanizers, gold diggers, attention seekers and other manipulators - Los Angeles Men's Dating Advice | Examiner.com http://www.examiner.com/article/in-defense-of-lying-womanizers-gold-diggers-attention-seekers-and-other-manipulators#ixzz1snZ1164s.

 

Hmph.

Hey, how did you know that?

[PlumPrincess]

The advice is meant to help get a date, it doesn't actually do anything to explain why they are single.

 

I'm talking about where you can talk about one of the guys here point out something and go, that is why he is single.

We girls here do that constantly with you. It's just that you don't listen.

[somedude81]

Tell me truthfully. Haven't you personally received advice as to why you're single?

Mainly it's because I'm not good at flirting and I wait too long to ask girls out.

 

Do they sound like good reasons why I'm single?

 

Where somebody can say, "That SD81, he's never going to be able to hold a GF because he's not good at flirting."

 

That's ludicrous.

[threebyfate]

Mainly it's because I'm not good at flirting and I wait too long to ask girls out.

 

Do they sound like good reasons why I'm single?

 

Where somebody can say, "That SD81, he's never going to be able to hold a GF because he's not good at flirting."

 

That's ludicrous.

My usage of "good" has two connotations. You're assuming a solely literal application.

[verhrzn]

Most often, people who are single are single for good reason(s).

 

Well, out the window goes that whole "Be confident there's nothing wrong with you!" So, I'm single because something IS wrong with me, but I should be confident that something is wrong with me, and that I'm just single for no reason...

 

Ugh dating is becoming more and more like that riddle about how to get two hens, a fox and a bag of corn across the river in one boat without them all eating each other...

[Queen Zenobia]

The advice is meant to help get a date, it doesn't actually do anything to explain why they are single.

 

I'm talking about where you can talk about one of the guys here point out something and go, that is why he is single.

 

I'll be honest with you, the internet is probably not the place where you're going to find the answers to your problems. Same goes for a lot of the other similar posters (like 49322). You two are like a pitcher who's got great stuff but just can't quite put it together in an actual game.

[RedRobin]

What sort of behavior am I exhibiting that is inviting and/or motivating deceitful or manipulative behavior from members of the opposite sex? Am I as upfront and straightforward with all of my true desires, interests and intentions as I can be?

 

To answer your question... trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and be a trusting person necessarily opens one up to those who are deceptive and manipulative.

 

Tie that in with the general trend of people wanting to start a 'relationship' by f-ing strangers... Bigger, better dealers and trends being that noone wants to commit to anyone without simultaneously dating/f-ing as many people as possible.

 

well, that is going to keep someone like me single for awhile. Maybe the rest of my life. Who knows.

[TheBigQuestion]

It's interesting to note that all the women you've dated don't fall within the general trend and yet, the rest of womankind does. Pick apart your own logic. It's fairly easy to do.

 

"Widespread" =/= "the rest of humankind".

 

With that said, why pick a bone with me over my statement? I rarely say anything about women's behavioral trends here anyway.

[Pompom]

True, but part of being responsible is not letting such persons take advantage.

 

A person who continuously is in manipulative relationships has themselves to blame only.

 

Not really.

1. The one deliberately manipulating and/or abusing, is the bad guy, and bad guys are there to be blamed.

2. Some manipulators are great at what they do and it doesn't feel like you're being played.

 

Basically, someone who earnestly invests themselves whole-heartedly and really can see no evil, is a victim and we do we end up if we start blaming victims?