sal110104 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Hi - I have been lurking here a while and seen some really good advice so hopefully some of you can help me. I am in my mid 30's, divorced for about a year and dating again. Last night a group of girls went to a sporting event at the stadium in my town. A bartender at one of the bars was really cute & we seemed to have a connection - although hard to make a big one as the bar was very busy. We came back and forth a few times & talked and flirted a bit as much as time would allow. At the end of the night we told him we would be going to another bar down the road. He said he had to close up & would head over there. Well the bar we went to was super packed and one of the girls we were with wasnt feeling well so we had to leave earlier than I wanted to. Needless to say - I never reconnnected with cute bartender. My question is this - I have friends that work at the stadium - I could have one of them try find him & give him my number. Maybe from a guys perspective - would you find that too forward? I am not used to being the pursuer of men - most approach me. I dont want to come across as desperate. Another option I have would be to go back to another game and go back to the bar and see if he is working. The only problem with that scenerio is I might not get back there for a couple of weeks. So any advice - what should I do?
Author sal110104 Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 Thanks for the repsonse - so I should have my friend get his number instead of having her give him mine? I would have her tell him who I was obviously - I would hope he would remember me - lol I just didnt want to come across as too agressive or stalker-ish. Like I said before - this will be the first time I have ever made the first move so to speak on a guy & I wanst sure if guys (in general) find it flattering or wierd.
wwwjd Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 just thinking out loud here.... I think getting his number would be odder than you sending him yours. it's a fine idea, but as I guy, I would rather have the choice to NOT call a number if I was not interested, than have some one call me up cold. I'd be like, "um... who... how did you get this number??" And or also I might not even answer it, let it go to voicemail if I don't know who it is. If a FOAF gave me your number, I could go, "aw that's nice" and throw it out, OR I could man up and initiate the call back showing my interest. my perspective. ima guy
riggs Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 Hi - I have been lurking here a while and seen some really good advice so hopefully some of you can help me. I am in my mid 30's, divorced for about a year and dating again. Last night a group of girls went to a sporting event at the stadium in my town. A bartender at one of the bars was really cute & we seemed to have a connection - although hard to make a big one as the bar was very busy. We came back and forth a few times & talked and flirted a bit as much as time would allow. At the end of the night we told him we would be going to another bar down the road. He said he had to close up & would head over there. Well the bar we went to was super packed and one of the girls we were with wasnt feeling well so we had to leave earlier than I wanted to. Needless to say - I never reconnnected with cute bartender. My question is this - I have friends that work at the stadium - I could have one of them try find him & give him my number. Maybe from a guys perspective - would you find that too forward? I am not used to being the pursuer of men - most approach me. I dont want to come across as desperate. Another option I have would be to go back to another game and go back to the bar and see if he is working. The only problem with that scenerio is I might not get back there for a couple of weeks. So any advice - what should I do? Why not just go back to the bar and strike another conversation?
truth_seeker Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 You can wait till you're able to go back to the stadium and see him or have your friend give him your number. I'm 100% sure he will be flattered that you want him to have your number.
RedRobin Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I'd do both (I'm a woman. I have no problems approaching). My first step would be to look him up next time you are at the stadium. If you are REALLY bold, you could chat up some of the other bar help while you are there and tell them your story. Maybe they'll pass on the info. Maybe they'll use it themselves and call you for a date instead of passing it on. If you don't see him, then give your friend your number to give him. That gives him the option of following up or not. Less pressure.
Author sal110104 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 just thinking out loud here.... I think getting his number would be odder than you sending him yours. it's a fine idea, but as I guy, I would rather have the choice to NOT call a number if I was not interested, than have some one call me up cold. I'd be like, "um... who... how did you get this number??" And or also I might not even answer it, let it go to voicemail if I don't know who it is. If a FOAF gave me your number, I could go, "aw that's nice" and throw it out, OR I could man up and initiate the call back showing my interest. my perspective. ima guy Yeah I dont think I would want his number - that is waaaay out of my comfort zone to call a guy first - especially out of the blue like that. I think I will just wait and go back to the game next weekend when I can get back there & hope he is working that night. If he isnt then maybe I will have my friend who works there track him down. Ill let u know what happens Thanks for all the advice everyone - it helps to hear others thoughts
Author sal110104 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Update - my friend ran into him at the bar last night & gave him my # - he told her he was very happy to have it. I went tonight to the bar & saw him. He was excited to see me & we set up a date for this weekend. Lots of flirting going on. So sometimes being a little bold can pay off!!
wwwjd Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 So sometimes being a little bold can pay off!! And is highly recommended.
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