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my dilemma

firehawk_1

By firehawk_1
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

Posted
Posted

Women want confidence

 

Men want respect

 

Thats it, theres no other secret formula. Look at the original post itself, OP felt disrespected when she kept trying to reach out to him, he doesnt have the confidence to even ask her out again, he just pansifies it. Everyone is different, you don't have to be gung ho ass super confident guy to score the ladies. Not every woman wants that anyways. All women want emotional security and men provide that with confidence.

 

Stop twisting the mirror and making it into a window. If your a man, worry about looking in the mirror and changing yourself instead of trying to change the opposite sex. The problem isn't them and if you continue to try to change them, you will never be happy in your life

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wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

Posted
Posted (edited)
She already had been playing games. She was very vague for a whole month. I think that both parties here have some personal issues.

 

She wasnt playing games, she just wasnt interested in anything more then a friendship. Op should have just moved on to the next one instead of wasting time here

Edited by wilsonx
HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
Since we are telling the OP that he MUST possess all of these qualities in order to have any success with women. I will turn it around again and ask what are these essential qualities that a woman must have to attract a man? I've read alot of threads like this advising men of the list of things that women want from men but I never see it reversed. Also, if a man were truly confident I doubt he would care about a woman's needs. After all aren't you telling the OP not to care about what this girl is feeling and just bug her anyway?

 

That is because men and women are different, hon.

 

No, we are not telling the OP that. In no way did we tell him to bug her. All we said was for him to to ask her out, to which he replied that he wouldn't unless he was SURE that she would say yes.

 

Read all his posts again. Maybe then you can see more clearly.

Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted
Women want confidence

 

Men want respect

 

 

But yet I have NEVER once seen a single word written on the internet or anywhere else telling a lonely woman to show a man respect in order to attract him. Never once!

I just can't believe how much you and other posters took such offence to the OP's "shortcomings." Like a guy with low confidence has the plague and must be shunned!

Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted
She wasnt playing games, she just wasnt interested in anything more then a friendship.

 

It's 2012. She should be able to communicate that without vagueness.

HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
She wasnt playing games, she just wasnt interested in anything more then a friendship. Op should have just moved on to the next one instead of wasting time here

 

I have agreed with everything you said but this, wilson. There was nothing that she did that indicated she wasn't interested. He was just too chicken s**t to even ask her out. NOT her fault, IMO. What did the poor girl do? Make her friend go into labour? The OP is just a really insecure fu*k who is, IMO again, a racist himself, to be honest!

Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted
That is because men and women are different, hon.

 

No, we are not telling the OP that. In no way did we tell him to bug her. All we said was for him to to ask her out, to which he replied that he wouldn't unless he was SURE that she would say yes.

 

Read all his posts again. Maybe then you can see more clearly.

 

Wisonx just said that she only wanted to be friends but you and others said to ask her out again. If she only wanted to be friends then would asking for another date just be bugging her?

HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
It's 2012. She should be able to communicate that without vagueness.

 

It's 2012 and he is the one making it about racism. He is not unliked because he is not white. He is unliked because he is not likable.

HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
Wisonx just said that she only wanted to be friends but you and others said to ask her out again. If she only wanted to be friends then would asking for another date just be bugging her?

 

Have you not read anything the OP wrote? He said:

 

"yes I could ask her out again however who knows how long that will take for her to:

 

a) get back to me

b) arrange a day

c) to commit to that without an excuse like before."

 

He wants to know that she will agree first before he even agrees to ask her out again! Do you get it??

 

Do you not see that we were all trying to help him? my God, man!

Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted
Women want confidence

 

All women want emotional security and men provide that with confidence.

 

 

What do you mean by "emotional security"? You can go read plenty of threads on this very "Break up" forum where women got bored with security and then wanted excitement. I have no problem with women wanting either of these things but I think that instead of giving men the idea that there are these set in stone qualities that women look for I think we should let them also know that it is a moving target. The desires can change with time.

Same goes for men. There are many stories on this very site of men getting bored and going after other women. I know that I will never look at male/female relationships in absolute terms. The divorce rate in the US is what now? 50 percent? That indicates to me that people's desires change sometimes.

Green Light Established Member

Green Light

Posted
Posted
Have you not read anything the OP wrote? He said:

 

"yes I could ask her out again however who knows how long that will take for her to:

 

a) get back to me

b) arrange a day

c) to commit to that without an excuse like before."

 

He wants to know that she will agree first before he even agrees to ask her out again! Do you get it??

 

Do you not see that we were all trying to help him? my God, man!

 

I can see how you are trying to help him by telling him just to go for it but I can also understand the the OP has some issues and the girl has some issues. In the end, I do agree that the OP really has nothing to lose by asking her out again but I think that the prospect of rejection is just to much for him at this time. And that's the way life goes sometimes.

HollyBolly Established Member

HollyBolly

Posted
Posted
I can see how you are trying to help him by telling him just to go for it but I can also understand the the OP has some issues and the girl has some issues. In the end, I do agree that the OP really has nothing to lose by asking her out again but I think that the prospect of rejection is just to much for him at this time. And that's the way life goes sometimes.

 

This is why I said that it wasn't advice he was after. He wanted to know why he was being rejected. We told him. He didn't like the answers. He blew. Nuff said!

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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