redrose123 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I had to talk to my ex at work last night about something work related and Now I am so tempted to break NC with this text: "talking to you yesterday made me realize that we are strangers now. It's sad because I was looking through my storage boxes and I found so many notes you had written me and timmys birth certificate. In One You said "I love you so much, I'll give you the world if I could but it might be too heavy and I wouldn't want you to hurt your back" where did that person go? That guy was awesome and i loved him. I don't even know who you are now. I'm a strong person, I don't need anyone in my life but it's sad that you selfishly threw away over 2 years for nothing.. Since you hate me anyway I don't understand how you could see yourself with another girl or me with another guy. But hopefully she wears a size 5 ring so you can give her my ring one day.." Goodness I need help.. Btw Timmy is a stuffed beat from build a bear.. No real children involved here! Lol 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 I had to talk to my ex at work last night about something work related and Now I am so tempted to break NC with this text: "talking to you yesterday made me realize that we are strangers now. It's sad because I was looking through my storage boxes and I found so many notes you had written me and timmys birth certificate. In One You said "I love you so much, I'll give you the world if I could but it might be too heavy and I wouldn't want you to hurt your back" where did that person go? That guy was awesome and i loved him. I don't even know who you are now. I'm a strong person, I don't need anyone in my life but it's sad that you selfishly threw away over 2 years for nothing.. Since you hate me anyway I don't understand how you could see yourself with another girl or me with another guy. But hopefully she wears a size 5 ring so you can give her my ring one day.." Goodness I need help.. Btw Timmy is a stuffed beat from build a bear.. No real children involved here! Lol Thank heaven you posted that here or you will regret sending that the second you hit 'send' You realize he's a stranger now. And it's time to toss away all the tangible memories that hurt you each time you look at it.
Author redrose123 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I was an idiot and sent it. And of course I didn't receive a reply. How can he just decide to ignore me like this? I did so much for this man. I don't know who this cold person is in place of someone I once loved. I feel like I'll never be able to trust another person again. I go through phases where I don't want anyone to wanting him, but honestly I just want to be happy on my own. I don't know how to get myself to that point and I don't know how to deal with it. I am such an idiot for breaking NC and I've set myself back now but every few weeks I just get this overwhelming feeling and its like I can't stop myself. It usually happens after I see him at work. I feel like it'd be so much easier if I didn't work with him and I've thought of getting a new job but Ive worked at this place for 5 years now and don't want to mess that up just because of him. Grrrrrrrr I have never been so miserable in my life.
ToyWithMe812 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I was an idiot and sent it. And of course I didn't receive a reply. How can he just decide to ignore me like this? I did so much for this man. I don't know who this cold person is in place of someone I once loved. I feel like I'll never be able to trust another person again. I go through phases where I don't want anyone to wanting him, but honestly I just want to be happy on my own. I don't know how to get myself to that point and I don't know how to deal with it. I am such an idiot for breaking NC and I've set myself back now but every few weeks I just get this overwhelming feeling and its like I can't stop myself. It usually happens after I see him at work. I feel like it'd be so much easier if I didn't work with him and I've thought of getting a new job but Ive worked at this place for 5 years now and don't want to mess that up just because of him. Grrrrrrrr I have never been so miserable in my life. What I have been saying daily, and it helps a little, is "I don't know you"...because honestly, I don't. The person I knew would have never done that to me. "I don't know you" and "I hate you" help a little. Let's face it, they are not the people we once knew. Yes, people are allowed to change their minds, etc. But, when it comes to love...I have faced the cold hard truth that I was never the love of her life, even after 10 years, even after her asking me to get back together a second time in the interim. I don't understand, we only get one life, and it is very short, you either love someone with every fiber of your being or not at all. I remind myself that I was never the love of her life, and I have told her so, to no avail (not aiming for reconciliation, just flat cold denial on her part about it). A vast majority take the hollywood take it or leave it approach to "love." I am only here for a short time, I want someone to spend the rest of my life with, because you never no how long either one of us is going to be here. That is what hurt me the most, that it was so casual to her. Red, I totally echo your sentiment on trust, for I don't know how I could ever trust another.
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I had to talk to my ex at work last night about something work related and Now I am so tempted to break NC with this text: "talking to you yesterday made me realize that we are strangers now. It's sad because I was looking through my storage boxes and I found so many notes you had written me and timmys birth certificate. In One You said "I love you so much, I'll give you the world if I could but it might be too heavy and I wouldn't want you to hurt your back" where did that person go? That guy was awesome and i loved him. I don't even know who you are now. I'm a strong person, I don't need anyone in my life but it's sad that you selfishly threw away over 2 years for nothing.. Since you hate me anyway I don't understand how you could see yourself with another girl or me with another guy. But hopefully she wears a size 5 ring so you can give her my ring one day.." Goodness I need help.. Btw Timmy is a stuffed beat from build a bear.. No real children involved here! Lol Don't send it. It'll be wasted words on him and since you two are in NC mode, contacting him will make you look weak in his eyes. Silence is the best...If you contact him and he doesn't reply you could be upset. If he replies and says awful and hurtful things to you, you'll feel worse and also very upset. It's over and you say he hates you, so why say something (try to defend or explain yourself) to someone who couldn't care less? It's wasted energy on him. Focus on yourself and try to put this behind you.
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I was an idiot and sent it. And of course I didn't receive a reply. How can he just decide to ignore me like this? I did so much for this man. I don't know who this cold person is in place of someone I once loved. I feel like I'll never be able to trust another person again. I go through phases where I don't want anyone to wanting him, but honestly I just want to be happy on my own. I don't know how to get myself to that point and I don't know how to deal with it. I am such an idiot for breaking NC and I've set myself back now but every few weeks I just get this overwhelming feeling and its like I can't stop myself. It usually happens after I see him at work. I feel like it'd be so much easier if I didn't work with him and I've thought of getting a new job but Ive worked at this place for 5 years now and don't want to mess that up just because of him. Grrrrrrrr I have never been so miserable in my life. Crap. I see I'm too late you and you sent it. Try asking for a transfer so you don't have to work with him. Or, just put feelers out there for another job, just to see what else is out there. Who knows, you could land a wonderful job opportunity somewhere else. Anyway, next time you get the urge, remember this. HE doesn't care. You say he hates you, so why on earth would you reach out to someone who ignores you? It's just asking for more pain and heartache. He's moved on.. You need to as well. If you can't do this on your own, then seek some counselling to help you cope with all this in a healthier way. POST here and pretend we are all your ex and vent what you want to say HERE and not to him.
Author redrose123 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 I don't know if he actually hates me. In the past when I've texted him he texts back and says he still loves me. It's just hard because we dated in the past years ago and afterward he treated me the same way, ignoring me at work and acted like his life was great without me. I was much better at NC then because i had a good group of friends and a lot more support and we weren't as close. 6 months following the first break up he contacted me asking to meet up so I went and he apologized for how awful he was treating me and told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him and how he was never going to find better than me. I forgave him but told him I couldnt give him another chance. Months after that he tried to get me back again with a long heartfelt card and some flowers but I still didn't feel that it was right and didn't know if he had truly changed. Then 6 months later he contacted me again and we went out and had a great night and I thought he had truly changed and figured if he tried even after a year and a half i'd give it another shot. We dated for 2 years after that until breaking up in January with him running back to me the following day. Then a month later we broke up again and it was basically his call. I just don't understand how he could be so regretful after losing me once and acted like he never wanted that to happen again. I guess since he came back so many times before and I waited until i felt it was right then I'm expecting the same Thing to happen this time. But it took him 6 months to realize all this last time so maybe 2 months is not long enough and I'm sure I'm messing everything up by breaking NC. I need NC for myself to be able to move forward. I can't keep holding on that he will regret this one day but it's hard to accept since he's done it before. I guess I was hoping to get some sort of reply just letting me know he cares but I guess they'd just be meaningless words anyway
Frank13 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 I was an idiot and sent it. And of course I didn't receive a reply. How can he just decide to ignore me like this? Reread your letter. Just about the entire thing was criticizing him and laying a guilt trip on him, and blaming him. Who would reply to that?
Frank13 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 you either love someone with every fiber of your being or not at all. I like this and when I think about my past relationships, I believe this is true. I have always felt that when someone says "I love you but I am not in love with you" what they are actually saying is "I am not in love with you and I don't love you, but by saying this I feel I am letting you down gently and saying I love you but am not in love with you means I don't have to be with you."
Author redrose123 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 Well I have already sent a text earlier after the break up apologizing and completely blaming myself. He has never mentioned having any fault in this. I acted on impulse when I sent that. I just wanted to get any response from him even if it was an angry one at the time just to feel like He cares. But thank you for making me feel guilty for sending it now! I mean I've been crying for the past 2 months and literally feel like there's a hole in my chest while he's just making out fine, so sorry if I made him feel a little guilt and bad for a few hours. Damn he sure is winning compared to me. I wish I was in his shoes. And he did selfishly throw our relationship away when he said he had no time for me after I've stood by him for 2 years.. I think that's a Pretty bogus reason to leave someone. But sorry if I made this guy whose caused me pain for weeks feel bad for a few minutes probably an hour tops!
Frank13 Posted April 23, 2012 Posted April 23, 2012 Sorry if I came across as a jerk, but even if I was the type to reply, I would not have replied to what you wrote. I think even an angry response would have made you feel bad. Would you really want someone who doesn't want to be with you buts stays because you stood by him for two years? How longs should he have stayed for you to consider that you two were then even? If you love and want to be with someone, you make time for them.
Author redrose123 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 You weren't rude. I'm just upset at myself for sending it and now I feel like I've come across as a b*** to him. I really don't want to cause him any pain. I love him. I send him these stupid texts and then am overwhelmed with guilt and feel like I should apologize. I just can't get out of this cycle. I was involved with him in some way pretty much for the past 5 years and am having trouble letting go. When I think about it I know I deserve better but I'm worried I wont find anyone else or if I do that I'll wind up hurt again. I am a very emotional and sensitive person and I put my whole heart and trust into this relationship. My parents tell me that I'm pathetic and should be over it by now but it's only been 2 months and I still feel so weak.
Frank13 Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 I am a very emotional and sensitive person and I put my whole heart and trust into this relationship. My parents tell me that I'm pathetic and should be over it by now but it's only been 2 months and I still feel so weak. You are not pathetic. This place is filled with people who aren't over their ex for many months or years. All it means is that you have a big heart. I would take someone with a big heart any day of the week. I would want a woman who is emotional and has a heart like you. I have been with woman who said it was hard to show emotion. Nothing worse than being with someone who makes you feel like they don't care.
Author redrose123 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Posted April 24, 2012 Thanks frank! I hope that one day when I'm ready to meet someone he appreciates that I have a big heart. I always had to ask my ex to show me affection and he would "joke" about having no heart. He said he was emotionless and criticized me for being too emotional. I guess he wasn't joking and that should have been a red flag for me to end the relationship sooner.
Reddice Posted April 24, 2012 Posted April 24, 2012 Emotions or no emotions, it doesn't matter. My ex was very emotional. She told me literally every day (for almost 3 years straight) how much she loved me. She cried over many things: when she was sad, when she was happy, when she was angry. She even cried during emotional scenes in movies (She cried non-stop during Hatchiko). She was so sweet she wouldn't even hurt a fly, literally. This was one of the things I loved about her. In fact, she had such a big heart that I trusted her 100% when she told me that there was no other man involved and that she would never leave me and that she was soooo happy with me. Can you already guess how this story ended? I'm just saying that emotions or not does not really matter... Some people are just plain crazy, there's no other explanation.
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