Is it over for good?

[Caly]

We've been dating for about 4 months, and everything was perfect for a while. We spent almost every night together either at my place or hers (mostly hers). She seemed so impatient to see me and she wanted me to go over every day after work and spend the night with her. We used to make plans all the time and go out and do stuff together.

About a month ago she started to become distant all of the sudden and indifferent. She told me that she needs a couple days to figure out some stuff. I was ok with that, no big deal. She asked me to go over the next day, and everything was ok.

After that she started to make some plans with her friends for the weekend, nothing much, just dinner, or club and stuff, but she didn't involved me anymore. I was a little concerned, but I didn't want to look disparate or possessive and I just gave her space. I wasn't too worried. But then she went out and she pretty much ignored me all day/night.

We spent a few days apart after and then she asked me to go over and spend the night. She didn't really wanted to come to my place anymore.

Everything was normal for a few days and then the next weekend she made plans again with her friends and she didn't involved me. I was starting to get a little concerned as I was feeling that she was trying to get away from me slowly. We had a little chat about it, but nothing more. I was giving her all the space that she wanted.

After that night, again we spent some time apart and she wasn't talking to me that much. I was the one who was initiating a conversation for most of the time.

After that everything was back to normal again. She wasn't cold or indifferent anymore. I felt like she was in love with me all over again. Everything was so intense. She was calling me all the time, texting all the time, she was really in to me again. It was great. That of course lasted for a week. Was an amazing week, we spent everyday together that week. Probably the best time spent together since we met. After the week was over, she was back to being indifferent, cold and she was ignoring me again. We haven`t really spent time together after.

Then one day I asked her why is she ignoring me lately. It was the question that I will always regret asking but I knew something was wrong and I felt like we were drifting apart. She responded in a message telling me that she was ignoring me for the fact that she lost desire to be involved with anyone and she need to be alone for a while but she wants us to be friends.

 

 

Now, it`s been a couple days since that happened and I don`t know what to do at this point.I don`t want to lose her. I don`t want to think about moving on if there is a chance of getting her back. Is there any point to try to get her back? Or is she not interested anymore and it`s over?

[Chrisal23]

Honestly at this point its too early to be too attached which is a good thing. Meaning that you guys haven't spend 2 or more years together making it harder to be apart. But in your position I'm still sure you must feel a lot for this girl. My advice for you is the advice that will help you but it's the one that is usually the hardest to do. I think that if she has any doubts about you , then you shouldn't be with her or even around with her as (friends). you're not available at her desire and she has to realize that. At the end of the day this is just my opinion but I'm only trying to help , you should always follow your dreams and desires. Just understand that she's confused about you and maybe she's curious about other boys, or being single ect... only she knows. In the end if you remain her friend she will either go back with you or keep you as a friend while she finally finds someone she is interested in. I would say strictly NC and make her see that you are not going to be there always for her so if she wants to be with you she has to make up her mind. Good Luck!

[Caly]

Thank you for the reply.

I realize that is early to be too attached, but yeah, I feel a lot for her. I can't believe this is happening. We never had a figh, everything was going great for a while. I wasn't expecting it at all.

Deep down I know that the right thing to do is to try to move on but I can't let her go. I'm keep hoping that it has to be a way to get her back, that maybe she is bored and she only needs some time alone.

If i choose to go NC it wont be easy, because we pretty much work together. I could try to ignore her for a while but I'm afraid that if I'll to do that I will lose her forever.

It's been a few days since the last time we talked and she didn't contact me at all. Is she moving on? Is there really nothing I can do to make her change her mind?

I really want to talk to her about all this, to know for sure what she really want's. But I don't know what is the best thing to do. Should I contact her now, or should I just wait a few more days?