reicremc Posted June 19, 2004 Posted June 19, 2004 after reading the posts for several months and learning a lot from them i have decided to share my story. my current situation is i am single....seperated for the past 2 mths from my g/f of 3 yrs and have agreed with the other woman i was seeing for the past 6 mths to call it quits (for now...i am her other man). where to begin this ugly mess.....the ex g/f and i meet online through a dating site, we chatted online in the afternoon for a bit and decided to meet for drinks that evening. we hit it off well with laughter a small chat of what we wanted in life. a couple of beers turned into several and that night i found myself in her bed. the sex was great and we were both cool with the one night stand we just had. well the one night stand happened for several nights after that and we began dating. at first things were good as with all relationships, but had turn sour when i began to see the real her. manipulative and controlling......i had just ended a simular relationship (more on that one to come) because of that and wanted no part of another. within the first 10 months we were on and off, with her begging to come back each time, apolgizing for her actions and saying it would change and we could work on it. i do have my faults and think it was my fault for many of her actions towards me. in the 10 month of our relationship, while we were off again (for good as i thought) i get a call from her and she sounds sad and confused. i asked what was wrong and she says she has to talk to me. i invite her over and she has tears in her eyes. i could tell she was frightened by what she had to say. she was pregnant! omg! my jaw hit the floor and i hit the roof! she was on the pill so she says but i know how absent minded she was when i came to taking it (my fault, should have doubled the protection). after 3 days of my confusion, anger and depression, i decided that i would take her into my apartment and be responsible for her and our baby. in the 5th month of her pregnancy she moved into my small 1 bedroom condo. we then moved to a 2 bedroom to accomidate for the new arrival. we mixed like oil and water. constantly bickering, arguing and fighting. i would bite my tongue and would take the blame for everything, cause as she said "she never did anything wrong". this never sat well with me. the baby was born and it was a happy time for all, execpt for me, i have always questioned wether this child was mine do to the fact we were so off again on agian in our relationship and that i am a dark complextion man and she the ex is very light. our daughter has her mothers looks (this is probably a topic for another section). in august of last year we purchased a house with the help of our families to give our daughter a better life, instead of the concrete jungle of living dowtown in the big city. 3 yrs of being controlled, swore at, belittled, and all the other things that go along with an abusive relationship,(i am not one to point the finger cause i was just as abusive right back), many breakups, many nights on the couch for me, and many nights spent away from the home because of the fights, i wanted out! i work from my home and am on the road as a sales rep, and during one day on the computer, i discovered a website that catered to the matching of MM/MW who were looking for something on the side. i found a woman with whom i began to chat with, talking of our relationships and where they had gone bad, talking of life in general and all the good things it had to offer. our stories were the same, controlling partners, not being happy, and looking for some fun on the side to break up the pain that we were suffering at home. i got to see her after a day or 2 of chatting via her webcam, and was totally taken with her beauty! i wondered to myself "how could a woman so beautiful be treated so badly". we finally agreed to meet on for lunch and we hit it off so well we ended up spending the whole day together. we continued to chat online during the day and though evening when her b/f was working or in bed. there were several meetings after this, for lunch or afternoon drinks. the relationship did become sexual and it was great.(did i mention that there was no sex between my g/f and i, and if there was it was when we were hammered drunk, maybe once a month). about 3 months into this i had something to confess to her....i was falling in love with her. instantly i thought this would frighten her away, but she understood. we had a level of comunication that was far beyond anything i had experienced with any other woman. we had nothing to hide in our present relationships that we had dicussing everything current, past and future. we would meet may one or two days a week but would talk either on the phone, online or text messaging on our cell phones on a daily basis. we both knew of each others situations, i at home with g/f and a daughter, and she at home with 2 boys and b/f. although feellings between us were getting stonger there was a level of respect we had for each other and the others in our life. my relationship finally came to a head 2 months ago, the bitching, arguing had taken its toll. my daughter was at the age where she knew what was happening when our voices got loud, it is such a terrrible thing for a child to have to deal with, (i speak from experience with divorced parents that hated one another). it was finally over. my MW knew of everything that was happening in my life in detail. she was surprised when i broke the news but understood the 3 yrs of hell i went through. our situations were changing, i never asked for her to leave her b/f. times were tough for her at home, she wanted to make it work, for her and for her kids. i was ok with this, i have a single life, i see her when its convinient for the both of us and things are good between us. we have told each other how much we are in love, and one day she told me that the day we first met, was the day she knew that she was in love with me.....sounds crazy but there definately was an attraction the very first day we met cause of all our conversations before and the bond the was formed. her relationship hit a big bump in the road about 3 weeks ago. her and her b/f agreed to seperate and she has since relocated to a hotel room and we have spent every night together since. she is in contact with her b/f daily because of the children and they work together. things were looking positive, i want to be with this woman. then something happened at home where her b/f and her had it out. her b/f knew of me in very little detail but on this day he showed his hand and told her everything about me that he knew.....which was lots more than she realized. they have been woking on there relationship with consellers and she has agreed to give it one more shot with him hoping he will change his controlling ways. we talked last night about her and her b/f and agreed it was best if we had no more contact. last night was the last night we would spend together. no more messages, no more calls, no more meetings, no nothing. i am heart broken cause we took this to far, fell to deeply in love with each other, cared way to much for each others well being. i knew this was going to happen and had some what prepared for this day emotionally, although it is very hard to leave a friend/lover. i left her room at 6 am this morning not to ever expect to hear from her again but wishing for something to happen that would bring us back together. not 10 mins into my journey home, i received a text message on my cell from her stating how much it hurts and how she will never forget what she has learned from our relationship. there is much more to my story, but am emotionally drained right now, including the controlling ex ex g/f that i might update later ********update******** as i have sat and written this today, it has taken about 2 hrs, she has texted me that she wants to be together one last night, i have agreed.....................
Tootrustingguy Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 Sounds crazy. I'm not pointing my finger at you, I'm in a bit of crazy situation myself. But you are playing with gasoline and matches. Someone is going to burn. If you can handle the consequences of your actions, good on you. I think you know it's not a good situation and you don't need anyone else to tell you that. Both of you should be single before you carry on...but that's just not going to happen. Keep your wits about you! You'll need it down the road. Good luck!
Good2Go Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 It all sounds like a Soap Opera without the needed commercials. Are you living in some dream world? You cheat on YOUR wife, she cheats on HER husband. Nothing works out so you guys agree on a Good-bye F*ck? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
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