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My ex and I ended on civil terms after having to live with each other a month after the BU. We sorted a few things out after we moved out and I went NC after she sent a text asking how I was doing.

 

Its been about 2 weeks NC and things just seem to get harder for me. I had met another girl who was really great. I was honest with her about everything and I just could not give myself to her in any way. I am slowly ending things with her.

 

I go to the gym. I am an avid cyclist. I do yoga. I hang out with friends. No matter what I do, the few moments of my day that aren't consumed by something, I am thinking of her. She is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when going to bed.

 

I've met new women. I've gone from being in really good shape to being in amazing shape. My confidence level is so much better. I am so clear on why everything happened and the things I want to change about myself. I am working on change. I am in a new part of town that is awesome, with great new roommates.

 

Despite all that is going well, all I want is her. After shutting the door on her by not responding and going NC, I feel horrible. I can literally start crying in the blink of an eye. Everything I do, I think of her being there and how much she would enjoy it.

 

I could go on and on...

 

I just don't know what else to do with myself. This roller coaster sucks so bad.

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