no more interest in CHIVALRY?

[udolipixie]

You gals on here can whine about sexism all you like.

 

I'm STILL going to:

 

- buy you flowers

- pay for your dinner

- open doors for you

- say you look pretty (not handsome)

- lead while dancing

- listen and let you cry all over my nice shirt while your head rests gently on my chest

- try to protect you in public

- enjoy making you smile

- and feel proud you are by my side

 

Seems you're quite unaware of what sexism is usually defined as.

[wwwjd]

Seems you're quite unaware of what sexism is usually defined as.

 

k, praytell... since it came up in my thread about CHIVALRY, tell me what it IS and how it relates to THIS THREAD about Chivalry. Since my list seemed sexist according to comments here.

This thread is about CHIVALRY NOT SEXISM.

 

And NO stories about towns with laws that advice women that trees are organically rocks to men who vote with the albotross.

Or other nonsensical nonsense.

[udolipixie]

What I mean by punishing is that once women get their share of drama they then decide to get back at men by putting men who have done nothing to them through hell.

I know what you meant.

 

I was curious as to how to you women punishing innocent men for others actions goes with the me disagreeing with the if you want a man to be X you inspire it advice to women.

 

Again I already stated that I wasn't saying you said that woman should put up with bad behavior from men.

Recall:

I wasn't stating, suggesting, or implying that you were saying women should put up with bad behavior.

 

I was just stating my at the whole if you want a man to be X you inspire it. It suggests to me that men are controlled by women and have no accountable for their actions. It seems to me as men often get when women aren't acting the way a man aka 'put his foot down' or leave that men get told not to put up with bad behavior from women while women get told to reward bad behavior in hopes it'll change.

 

The same goes for men. If you want a good woman than be a good man and vice versa. This is what I mean by inspiring that desire in a man to go the extra mile. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

The bolded is what I was disagreeing with.

 

I disagree with this inspire X in a partner if you want X. To me there's a sense of lacking accountability of your partner (rather than s/he being X) who is likely an adult you're considering them as a romantic potential.

 

There's certain attributes or attributes desired in a partner that it seems would be better off having a partner who has them than trying to inspire them.

[Pyro]

the word sounds old.

 

I prefer to call it courtesy.

[udolipixie]

k, praytell... since it came up in my thread about CHIVALRY, tell me what it IS and how it relates to THIS THREAD about Chivalry. Since my list seemed sexist according to comments here.

 

Sexism is generally described as gender discrimination.

 

As for how it relates to the thread you say your list seemed sexist to commenters here suggestingsexism was has been applied to your actions. That you've been found sexist going by others definition of sexism.

 

I didn't state this thread was about sexism.

 

And NO stories about towns with laws that advice women that trees are organically rocks to men who vote with the albotross.

Or other nonsensical nonsense.

It's nonsensical nonsense to state that being held accountable in one area doesn't mean you're held accountable in all areas?

 

I stated that the whole if you want a man to be X you inspire it. It suggests to me that men are controlled by women and have no accountable for their action.

 

NXS stated men go to prison so they are held accountable for their actions.

 

I stated accountable in one area doesn't mean in all areas and gave:

Let's take a town where if you commit a crime you're held accountable and men are advised if you want X in women you inspire it.

Everyone is accountable by laws for crimes

Women aren't accountable by advice for other actions

 

People being held accountable for crimes doesn't negate to me that the advice suggests that women aren't accountable for their actions.

Being held accountable in one area doesn't necessarily mean you're held accountable in all areas

[wwwjd]

 

It's nonsensical nonsense to state that being held accountable in one area doesn't mean you're held accountable in all areas?

 

 

I meant nonsensical in that I can't understand a lot of your english

[udolipixie]

I meant nonsensical in that I can't understand a lot of your english

 

So you can't understand being held accountable in one area doesn't mean you're held accountable in all areas from the example:

Let's take a town where if you commit a crime you're held accountable and men are advised if you want X in women you inspire it. People being held accountable for crimes doesn't negate to me that the advice suggests that women aren't accountable for their actions.

 

Did you understand from the breakdown:

Let's take a town where if you commit a crime you're held accountable and men are advised if you want X in women you inspire it.

Everyone is accountable by laws for crimes

Women aren't accountable by advice for other actions

 

People being held accountable for crimes doesn't negate to me that the advice suggests that women aren't accountable for their actions.

Being held accountable in one area doesn't necessarily mean you're held accountable in all areas

[PlumPrincess]

Many, many years ago, I had a job interview and the guy who was going to interview me for the job, was so courteous. He even helped me out of my coat. I also remember him as good-looking. Since then I had a lot of job interviews, but I still remember him, because he was so gentlemanlike towards a plain job applicant.

[PlumPrincess]

Mate, chivalry as it is understood by the majority of people was used by men who received something in return for treating women with deference. Something called respect and admiration. My ancestors could look at women without fearing being sued for ''sexually molesting a woman with his eyes'', and women went as far as noticing the dude's existence without painting him as a creepy mofo who wants to get into their pants.

 

Men also knew who they were sleeping with, not like today when women lie up their teeth about how many sexual partners they have, and maidens were virgins , nothing of the sort of HPV's and other std's that one might catch from sleeping with the average woman.

 

Do read Dasein's post if you want to learn more about it and about what chivalry is not.

 

If you want to get laid, you need to pay attention to the anti-social bro who doesn't even bother with saying hi to women and who ignores and treats them like they're bothersome.

 

That's the guy who is getting laid. Chivalry won't get you far if you lack what women are looking for. Of course, with age women seek different traits and personalities, you might want to look into that.

Uh, were you not the guy who slept with that girl who was a virgin and when she tried to call you back, you never picked up and had a good laugh at her naivety? My, if you are not a catch.

[zengirl]

This thread is about CHIVALRY NOT SEXISM.

 

Technically, chivalry IS sexism (levied against both men and women). Mild, harmless sexism in most cases, but if you apply special courtesies only towards someone because of their gender, that's sexism. Now, I don't think it's sexist to apply special courtesies to someone because you are dating them (men and women can both do that, as can people in both same and opposite sex relationships, so that's not sexist at all).

 

I cannot find the second dictionary definition you listed in either of my dictionaries, btw (Oxford or Merriam-Webster) so I am curious as to where you got that dictionary definition. Everything I can see applies to knights.

 

Personally, I love courtesy. But many types of courtesy don't discriminate, nor do they all come from the same mindset as the knightly qualities of chivalry. The knightly qualities come from a mindset of cultivating a particular image. Someone is only kind when others are watching and in ways that society has dictated --- someone who is kind out of duty. I'd much rather someone be kind because they are kind. I see plenty of false manners today -- not particularly knightly manners, but still false -- and they interest me little. I've received lots of kindness -- from friends and strangers -- in my life though, and that's always impressed me a lot.

[Gaye]

Chivalry is great, I am neither weak nor down, but I appreciate having the door opened for me etc.

 

I agree with Patrice, there is a difference between Chivalry and control, and in my experience what may in the beginning seem like Chivilary can actually be over protection and control. So the intention behind the gesture is what is of utmost importance.

[persevere]

I always take a quick glance beihind me when going through a door, to see if anyone is behind me. I'll hold it if open. No big deal. Men or Women. Most always people say thank you. Very occasionally they say nothing, where I will loudly say "You're welcome".

[Fondue]

I treat men and women equally. I'm courteous to both.

 

I will hold the door open regardless of gender, age, race, etc. It's just polite

 

I will go out of my way to say "thank you" and "you're welcome" if the situation calls for it. Again, it's just being a respectful human being.

 

But with that said, I do NOT treat women like a white knight would. If I'm out with a woman, I will not rush to the table and pull out the chair for her. I will not jump out of my car, run to the other side, and open the door for her. I will not take her hand and kiss it (although this one went through my head a few times, to do it for the funnies and see what the reaction is like). Etc. etc. etc.

 

So in conclusion, treat everyone the same way. Regardless of what's beneath the clothes. It's just a nice thing to do .

[dasein]

I'm unsure as to why you're quoting that as I never stated, suggested, or implied anything close to that.

 

I said it's common in many men who feel that and see/hear many men who feel that.

 

Not interested in playing the hair-splitting game today, sorry.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

There seems to be a line between being chivalrous and being controlling. I have dated very chivalrous men .. sometimes they want to "help" too much.

Does that answer it for you?

 

Send those men my way.

 

Thanks.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

You gals on here can whine about sexism all you like.

 

I'm STILL going to:

 

- buy you flowers

- pay for your dinner

- open doors for you

- say you look pretty (not handsome)

- lead while dancing

- listen and let you cry all over my nice shirt while your head rests gently on my chest

- try to protect you in public

- enjoy making you smile

- and feel proud you are by my side

 

I like all this. I give it two thumbs up.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I also hold doors open for men and women alike. And have had women hold doors open for me too. But I would be lying if I said I didn't get a little extra pleasure when a man held a door for me vs a woman. Especially if we are on a date. With another woman, it is just a common respect thing, when it's a man, it is sexy to me.

 

I agree that being polite should be done for everyone.

 

But I also enjoy chiverly. And when a man is kind enough to display that, I, like Fitchick said, make sure to smile and say thank you to let him know it was appreciated. Because I really hate when you hold the door open for someone and they breeze through acting like you were suppose to hold the door open for them. It's usually then where I say very nicely and clamly, "you're welcome'. Some will turn around and give me a dirty look, others will be thrown off and mumble out a "thanks"... A nice little "you're welcome" when being ignored is all you need.

[Stephanie]

Thread closed.

 

WARNING: All threads are to be kept ON TOPIC! This means that you CANNOT dissect other members motives, call them out, or insult them in any way, and you certainly can't post a response soley for that purpose.

 

I encourage each of you to revisit the community guidelines LoveShack.org: Community Guidelines and review the section CIVILITY & RESPECT twice!

Edited April 22, 2012 by Stephanie