no more interest in CHIVALRY?

[wwwjd]

Chivalry defined by the online dictionary:

1. the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak

2. courteous behaviour, esp towards women

 

Another post wants to turn Chivalry into a sexist, unwarranted, undesired, dead custom.

 

Is it really dead?

If I open a door for a woman friend, but NOT my guy friend, I am being a sexist, role pushing pig, reducing the equality of women? I thought I was just being nice and chivalrous.

 

More on that next on CHIVALRY TODAY

[Negative Nancy]

i don't mind if someone holds the door open for me or helps me in the jacket, it's a nice appreciated gesture, but i'm not gonna throw myself behind a train if those gestures don't happen. so it's okay if you do it, but if it's not in you and you don't do it, it's okay too.

[NateC]

Ah, this ol' debate...

 

It's not dead if you still believe in it.

[FitChick]

I'm quite surprised if anyone has good manners these days, like saying please, thank you, and you're welcome. Almost unheard of in someone under 30. If a man of any age holds the door open for me, I always give him a loud thank you and a smile. If a man feels appreciated, he is likely to repeat the behavior.

[gotye]

I consider myself a feminist and I think chivalry is sweet. I don't need it and I don't want to date a guy who will constantly go out of his way to show how nice he is... but it is a sweet gesture

 

especially on a first date when a guy opens the car door for you... after the first while of dating, though, I think that is too much

[Patrice]

I like it! Too much makes me a bit uncomfortable ...

[Patrice]

There seems to be a line between being chivalrous and being controlling. I have dated very chivalrous men .. sometimes they want to "help" too much.

Does that answer it for you?

[Patrice]

1. the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak

 

 

Read the second part of your definition ...

 

I love a man to open doors for me, the car door etc. ....

 

readiness to help the weak ... would that be the woman?

[Mme. Chaucer]

I love chivalry.

 

Does your reference to responses in "another post" refer to your thread about how most or even all women secretly want to be kept and protected by men, even if they don't realize it?

 

I hope not, because that concept is a far cry from courtesy to women, courage, honor, justice and willingness to help the weak. I can't imagine a soul having a problem with any of those qualities.

[Patrice]

Just asking the question .. you put it out there

[Patrice]

Women love to be respected - being chivalrous - as in good manners and opening doors for women are appreciated, for the most part.

 

When you imply that women are weaker and they must be protected .. I'm not sure what you're referring to.

[Patrice]

Then we agree .. not all men are like you. Personal example ... starting to manage things I have always managed by myself, and didn't ask for the assistance.

[ForgetMeNots]

I love chivalry and believe it is not dead. Though I am also realizing pseudo chivalry that is happening too. Where guys acts polite but think that the woman they were being courteous to owes the something after that. Im all for doors being opened,and will always be grateful for the kind gesture as long as the person doesnt hope that now I owe them a date or if opening the car door is a one way ticket to le pants. xD Not saying that thiis the exact case but sumtimes chivalry seems to come at a price rather than politeness. Though there are always the sexists ladies that do put a damper on the genuine fellas

[wwwjd]

1. the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak

 

 

Read the second part of your definition ...

 

I love a man to open doors for me, the car door etc. ....

 

readiness to help the weak ... would that be the woman?

 

No. These definitions are not mine, they are from the online dictionary.

Definition #1 is CLEARLY completely separate of Definition #2.

Def #2 Says courteous behaviour, esp towards women

I could of left def #1 out completely, but I like the parts mentioned about having courage, honor, and justice.The part about helping the weak just means exactly what it says: a chivalrous knight is ready to help someone who is down, but since we don't practice KNIGHTS anymore, it doesn't relate to us.

 

Opening a door for you is simply to be nice. AND Chivalrous. Actually, my buddies and coworkers usually ARE nice and open each other's door.... it's just about being polite, having manners and all that.

 

Sad others here do recognize manners are kind of fading from youth. Maybe THIER kids will bring manners back since they will act the opposite of thier stupid mannerless parents. You know, being rebelious?

 

It puzzles me too when a women appreciates the gesture for a shorter while up front and then gets tired of it? Like it is "GREAT" for the attraction/honeymoon part of dating but then after that we can all slack off.

 

I don't want to slack off. I want to continue showing the same action and respects to her for ever.... not during the first couple dates while I'm trying to "impress her". This IS me. I will ALWAYS go for holding the door.

But girls are so used to the action up front fading with time? or something I don't know

[gotye]

say what? is it good or bad?

 

it's good when it isn't forced... like a guy runs from far just to open a door for a girl

 

just saying, I don't need it every time, but once in a while is nice

[wwwjd]

I love chivalry and believe it is not dead. Though I am also realizing pseudo chivalry that is happening too. Where guys acts polite but think that the woman they were being courteous to owes the something after that. Im all for doors being opened,and will always be grateful for the kind gesture as long as the person doesnt hope that now I owe them a date or if opening the car door is a one way ticket to le pants. xD Not saying that thiis the exact case but sumtimes chivalry seems to come at a price rather than politeness. Though there are always the sexists ladies that do put a damper on the genuine fellas

 

I hear ya. You know what kind of EXPECTATIONS I have for my actions? A smile and a thank you. THAT positive afformation and appreciation tells me I have provided and done something good for my gal. Make me feel like more of a man.

[january2011]

Chivalry defined by the online dictionary:

1. the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak

2. courteous behaviour, esp towards women

 

I like the first definition, especially courage, honour and justice, but baulk at the idea that weak = women. I think that all people in a position of power and influence, male or female, should leverage whatever they have (be it skills, money or physical labour) to give back to their community and society in general.

 

I also like the second definition but agree that it should apply to all people and not just women.

[wwwjd]

hahahahahah STOP IT!!

 

Women are NOT weak! Someone else blended those definitions where it shouldn't have been.

 

it doesnt say helping weak women, it says ready to help the weak.

 

THEN in a totally separate definition, it says beign COURTIOUS to peeps ESP women.

 

THAT is the definition. Not blending of the two.

 

Why does that keep coming up? There's nothing subliminal going on here.

 

def 2 is NOT an extension or enhancement of def 1 and has nothing to do with it. it's totally separate

[wwwjd]

I should have never listed definition # 1 hahahahahahaa!!

 

God I hate the net hahahahahaha

[Patrice]

Good clarification ... I think us females wondered what was meant by that ...

I love kind men .. and thoughtful men.

[wwwjd]

I can't help what the dictionary says... I quoted the dictionary verbatim so MY words would not get twisted up. and it STILL happens!! hhaahhahaha

 

it's alright I'm laughing hard about all this :laugh:

[Ruby Slippers]

My last date was a total old-school gentleman. He opened the car door every time, pulled out my chair, helped me put on my coat. I loved it

[LZ2000]

This question has been plaguing me for many many years in my young adult life. But finally, I do believe I have the real answer to it. Maybe.

 

The most stereotypical chivalrous stance one could take assumes that the "maiden is always in distress".

 

It's not entirely true, some women are independent in their very nature and can decide and do things on their own.............. whether to their own benefit or their detriment. Those women don't need a knight in shining armor, rather more like someone who accept them for who they are.

 

Women aside, pursuing Chivalry for it's own good, without selfish intentions is it's own reward.

[wwwjd]

My last date was a total old-school gentleman. He opened the car door every time, pulled out my chair, helped me put on my coat. I loved it

 

no no no... you got it all wrong. he was REPRESSING you and forcing HIS sexist role ideas on you!!! Wake up gurlfrien!! [sNAP!]

 

hahahahahaa

 

No, but seriously... if his doing that made YOU feel good, and made HIM feel good, is there some harm in doing that forever? Rather than just the 1st 5 dates?

[gaius]

It's not dead, it just evolved. Throwing your jacket on a puddle is prehistoric.