ThaWholigan Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 How many of you depend on the outcome of your dates or your approaches, and how does it affect your interactions with the opposite sex? I found that since I have stopped worrying about being rejected or not being liked, my interactions are much more enjoyable, if not always yielding results. It is better this way as I'm not dependent on the outcome, I feel that being dependent would affect me negatively. Any thoughts?
sid3 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Agreed. Although occasionally the outcome does influence how I interact with a particular date. For example, the girl I met last nite completely blew my mind. Instead of fawning all over her like the other guys that were with us, I backed off. Because the outcome became more important to me, I tried a lot less and just enjoyed having a good time. Not out of fear of rejection, as predicted she ended up approaching me several times.
AD1980 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 The fact that i dont do well with women makes me even more guarded and shy around single ones,i figure shes thinking i hope this unattratcive guy here doesnt come and approach me.. Im much more comfortable around single women and i think theyre much more comfrotable around me then single women because they know im not hitting on them..
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 The fact that i dont do well with women makes me even more guarded and shy around single ones,i figure shes thinking i hope this unattratcive guy here doesnt come and approach me.. Im much more comfortable around single women and i think theyre much more comfrotable around me then single women because they know im not hitting on them.. I'm the exact same way.
AD1980 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Sorry i meant to say im much more comfortable around women in relationships not single women
USMCHokie Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Im much more comfortable around women [in relationships] and i think theyre much more comfrotable around me then single women because they know im not hitting on them.. Then don't actively "hit on" women...treat them all as if they are "taken" if you have to, because you'll be more comfortable talking with them...and when you're more comfortable, you're probably more sociable...and you might even be 'hitting on them' without even knowing it...
sid3 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 because they know im not hitting on them.. That's the difference. I was hitting on her but she doesn't know, at least not for sure. I'm much happier having left her wondering if I'm in to her.
AD1980 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Then don't actively "hit on" women...treat them all as if they are "taken" if you have to, because you'll be more comfortable talking with them...and when you're more comfortable, you're probably more sociable...and you might even be 'hitting on them' without even knowing it... Thats what i do for the most part anyway since i rarely hit on women out of fear of rejection Even when i try to make small talk i usually get a annoyed look on their faces so i dont even bother
Author ThaWholigan Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 Thats what i do for the most part anyway since i rarely hit on women out of fear of rejection Even when i try to make small talk i usually get a annoyed look on their faces so i dont even bother Are you sure they have annoyed looks on their faces? It's one thing being aware of the other person in the conversation, but it's another to project your perceptions into the ethos. Personally, whenever I have thought along similar lines, my interactions have been typically awkward and forced. And I notice it too. What I have tried to do since, is to become comfortable in my own skin, therefore being comfortable in the presence of other people (especially women I deem attractive) is achieved a little easier once I am not worried about the outcome, I am merely thinking of having a good time and consequently relaxing in the knowledge that I am enabling others to do the same. If I were you, I would try not to think so much about all the bad stuff, no matter how difficult it seems. As someone who is an analytical thinker and pretty much uses his mind a great deal, even I recognize the level of deception your mind will perform unto you.
Author ThaWholigan Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 I feel this thread needs a bump considering a few things. Was reading a blog posted in the PUA thread, and it made me think, that possibly the amount of investments, especially emotionally, that we put into dating can severely hamper us when it comes down to it. I think it's key to be happy going solo while you are unattached, as I have been doing. I have come to a point where I am actually quite happy as I am. I would like to date a woman of course, but it's not a source of great discomfort to me, just something I am yet to do. Admittedly, I'm still fairly young at 23 but I don't really see my mentality changing if things stay the same dating-wise. Or at least I will make it so that it doesn't. Have control over your emotional life, as well as your mentality.
d'Arthez Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I found that since I have stopped worrying about being rejected or not being liked, my interactions are much more enjoyable, if not always yielding results. Wholly agree. Expectations alter outcomes and how outcomes are perceived. 1
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