busybee_liar Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 hey guys, .. dont have ny idea where to start from. i always thought m q practical girl who really doesnt need such forums to take out her frustration on. i have had been in a relationship for past four years and my partner was really in love with me..(i think so - always got this impression) i, being emotionaly a weak person, fall for it, i rejected people only for that person, limited my social life just bcux that made him insecure... anyway,, three months ago he left me,saying that life is something bigger than this. he needs to get married someday and all.. i... cried, requested, did all i could to bring him back, but he said we can be frends only. the thought was itself a killer, i had no option but to accept as i really cant live wthout him, i changed his name in my cell to "devil", his attitude changed.. i ws ignored! all the time... a month ago, a proposal came for me, the guy knew me and his mother approached my family,. when my X gotto know so, he came back saying, i should refuse about this proposal... i know i should nt have. but i did! the moment i did so, my X LEFT me too :S i cried.. cried again.. he said that he need time to get back and mre over, he cannnot be same as before ever again :S m an engineering student and i have my exams after 6 days :S i requested my X , either to leave me once and for all or come back to me... was it wrong guys?? but ... my X swore upon God saying he would never talk to me ever again i did self harming cuople of times before too, but this time , i did it serious... my heart aches out help me
emface4 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Self harm is NOT the answer. Please listen to me, I have done this so many times, I have suffered severe depression and nearly ended it more than once. At this moment in time life doesn't seem like going on but there is light at the end of the tunnel! I promise things will get easier. You mentioned that you have a important exam very soon I urge you to focus all your energy and time on that for the time being. Do not let him ruin your future! I know how hard it is, I am currently going through a bad break up after 3 years and I really do understand how tough it is to move on. My advice is to really focus on doing well in your exam no matter how hard it is to concerntrate. Cut him completely from your life (this is very very hard and I am currently doing it but it is better than going around in circles and torturing yourself even more) You need to get councilling too. Councilling is very benefical and enables you to express yourself freely without having to feel bad about upsetting anyone. After your exam, start to occupy yourself with hobbies. Go out with your mates, do stuff you always wanted to do but never got the chance to do it. I personally am saving to go to Canada next year, starting pole dancing lessons and am starting sewing lessons. Get's me out of the house and enables me to make new friends. Biggest thing is STOP hurting yourself, value yourself because you ARE important. Don't think about what you have done wrong, try your best to do things for YOURSELF. Personal message me if you need me to help anymore. Love and hugs xxx
Author busybee_liar Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 hey pal, Thanks alot for turning up as i thot may be ppl would be too busy in their lives to give ear here... sorry to hear abt u but anyway, the best part is u are atleast strong enough to try out things.. My life.. Hell.. I cannot even imagine in worst dream that he will leave me with such an easiness! Yes, i have a series of annual exams from next week and i m pretty helpless. I was never like this.. I m an author myslef, earning money from my blog,. But due to my pesonal problems, my job is gttng affected too.. U are ryt in sayng about moving out with frends and all, but dude u need to have a will to do so, which i think, i will never have now... love... And then ..true love is the most hating part of my life.. Sounds confusing..:! There ws a tym when pppl wanted to be friends with me, but my tantrums of having a best friend in my partner always made them feel unwanted. I was complete.. My life was set.. I was happy damn!' :( :(.. But now... Look at me.... I m scared of death else i wud have died by now too... Its all dark... Something is stuck there inside me.. My throat:/ its literally making every bit difficult. I try to focus alot.. Becux my mum has sacrificed tonnes to bring me here.. I m from pakistan, and just mentioning my country can easily portray how difficult it must have been to maintain the standards. i hate myself for the reason that i can never pay off my mother with good results.. i m finished.. Self harming .. Ahh.. I hate marks on my wrist :S... He used to love me more when i used to do things like this:/ often scolding, and then pampering... But now... Now.. tch!
emface4 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 I know it is hard. Like I said before, I have been at rock bottom and suffered very badly with self harm. You NEED to go to the doctors and speak with them about it or ring a helpline. One day it will go too far and that is not a good thought to have. I understand how depression can consume your life and it is like a black cloud over your head but that will end if you talk to the right people. Please do seek professional help, it is essential. 1
wilsonx Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 What happened to make you feel shame? Sounds like you have been depressed and felt shame for a long time before the breakup! You have no love for yourself. If you do not love yourself then there is no way that you can reciprocate said love onto others.
Author busybee_liar Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 when i m saying myslef that i knw m doing wrong, there is no point in taunting me by the way. secondly, i could have managed it too well, i wouldnt have been here
Author busybee_liar Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 its weird to see that his facebook profile is as healthy as it never was without me m going insane..!!!!! :S
Recommended Posts