lifehurts Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Basically I'm in love with this girl. Her ex broke up with her due to difficult circumstances, apparently because of his parents. He told her he still loves he but they can't date. The girl still loves her ex. Well basically me and her have gotten very close, we talk to each other nearly 24/7. Everybody thinks we are dating because we're so close. One day she told me she was very confused about something I asked her what, but she wouldn't tell me. Then one day I told her that I love her, then she told me straight she's in a difficult position with her ex, and atm she only sees me as a friend. I don't know what to do I love her alot. Do I have a chance? Or Should I just let her go. I have no experience at all I don't know what to do.
Author lifehurts Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 If anyone could advise me on what to do I would appreciate it alot, I can't think straight at the moment I don't know what to do.
NoKids Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Well, you love someone that clearly is not over their past relationship. There is an emotional bond that you are feeling that comes with any new relationship in the beginning when the hormones are at their strongest. Right now you are just going to have to wait her out. She knows how you feel, but she is not ready to move closer to you. The best thing for you to do is to keep yourself as busy as possible. Go out with friends, go enjoy your hobbies, etc. Sadly, all you are going to want to do is sit around and watch your phone, facebook, whatever looking for any sign that she cares for you or wants you. This is not productive, neither for you, nor for the two of you if she ever does come around. Quite simply because if she does you will be pining and so happy that she came around you will most likely suffocate her. Create some space and continue to have a life of your own. That is the best advice I can give you. Just like my situation, we all wish there was a magic wand to make things better and work out exactly the way we want them to. Life doesn't work that way I am afraid. Best of luck to you and stay strong.
Author lifehurts Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 Thanks so much for the help, I understand that I need to do something more productive. But what do I do regarding her, just I just leave her alone for a bit, she's kind of an emotional wreck at the moment. She always messages me starting conversation, but it just tears me apart that she doesn't feel the same way...
NoKids Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Thanks so much for the help, I understand that I need to do something more productive. But what do I do regarding her, just I just leave her alone for a bit, she's kind of an emotional wreck at the moment. She always messages me starting conversation, but it just tears me apart that she doesn't feel the same way... Since you have told her that you have feelings for her, you may want to think about why she is contacting you. It may be worth while for you to tell her straight up, "As I have told you, I have feelings for you, you telling me about your problems with you Ex is not something I can manage at this time. I would love to be with you, but I know you have a lot going on right now. I think it is best if you figure those things out for yourself. Once you have done that please tell me, but right now I too emotionally attached to you." Then pull away and let her figure her **** out. You are in a devil of a place right now as you care for someone who is not completely over their ex. Last thing you want to be in a rebound that she regrets or thinks she jumped into too quickly. Give her some space. I can't guarantee that it will end up in your favor, because this is really all in her court. At the same time you may have a chance to learn something about yourself through all of this. Find out what that could be.
Author lifehurts Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 Thank you I shall try that out, but she hardly talks about her ex anymore. We just have normal conversations like normal friends would but it's like 24/7 she's also told me things that she wouldn't tell anybody. People would think she likes me but I guess that's not the case. It's all really too confusing, is it possible that she may like me but she loves her ex too much? And thanks so much.
emface4 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Just take it slowly. You don't want to be a rebound relationship and end up having your heart broken. Continue to be friends by all means but just try to not expect too much x
M2155 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 I'm a female and guessing much older but I had a friend I was really interested in and we started hanging out all the time. I never felt like I needed to tell him I like him (and I'm glad I didn't) because we were talking all the time anyway. He wasn't caught up in an ex as far as I can tell but for whatever reason, he always said his life was too complex with his career to get involved in a relationship. In that time, we did become good friends and I had to move on though so I backed off. When I did, he started contacting me more because we had been used to hanging all the time. Your friend is heartbroken and it takes time to get over someone she loves, especially when she feels it could work. You are comfort for her which she probably enjoyed your company, but she will never be able to see you as potential while her heart is occupied. I would just tell her you understand where she is coming from and really value your friendship. You don't want things to be awkward and enjoy her company. Then I would give her some space- be friendly but the amount of time you are talking right now is too much. Don't put your life on hold or hang around her like a lost puppy waiting for her to get over her ex- you have no real chance until that happens (nor do you want to be the rebound). Right now you have to keep distance or be ok with being in the friend zone for a while (you never know, you could end up with one of your best friends like I did).
Author lifehurts Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 Oh yeah there's one slight problem, she sits next to my maths class at college.
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