sonrisa Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 So a few months ago, I wrote on here about having a crush on a man who works at my gym. Well it leaded nowhere, not that he rejected me or anything, but I didn't show him that I had a crush on him and his behavior was ambiguous so I dropped it and the crush faded away. I was going to put him out of my life, but since he kept talking to me I said why not be friend with him! Now this is where his behavior is weird: He was going to travel, and I wanted to write him a little list of what he could bring me from there, instead, he told me to send him a text of what I want and gave me his phone number, I texted him and got no response back not even a "ok" or anything...) Since I got his number I sent him probably 2 or 3 texts and never got a response back. I wasn't trying to hit on him or anything in my texts, I was usually asking him something. His reason of not replying? He said he prefers to talk to me when he sees me... I've noticed he has 2 phones. As reading this you might think this guy doesn't give a crap about you and doesn't know how to tell you to leave him alone, yet, when I go to the gym he's all over me, if I ignore him (because sometimes I'm in a rush and don't want to talk to people) he will do anything to catch my attention, he always stop me at his desk to talk with him before I start exercising, he often picks on me but always in a funny manner, he has the reputation of forgetting everything yet he remembers every small detail that I tell him about me, when he goes inside the exercise rooms, he just ignores everyone but me (eventhough he knows almost everyone in the gym). Once I accidentaly sent him a text instead of my bff about not feeling well at all, wanting to cry and all, he of course didnt reply, but the next time he saw me, he was very concerned about me and told me i should have come see him that day etc.. I could go on and on. He also suggested a few times that we should hang out/ go out etc..but nothing has happened yet Oh did I tell you that he has a gf? I saw her, but he never talks about her, everytime I bring up the word "girlfriend" he changes subject. Now what I am wondering is; what does he want ? sometimes I feel like he doesn't want my friendship then why not just ignoring me ? He's weird , I don't understand him. I appreciate him as a friend, I think he's fun to be around, but his behavior sometimes confuses me. Opinions are needed please
Yookie Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 He wants the ego stroke. He already has a girlfriend. Some people are just attention whores. 2
Yare Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 oh yeah a lot of guys do this..You are probably a good looking girl so he gets an ego stroke talking to you at the gym, especially if there are other guys around, he is a show off...I met someone like this at my job...guy would suggest that we should go out for coffee or whatever but never came thru..but he loved flirting with me daily at the job site, especially in front of other men.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 I agree with Yookie and Yare... Yookie and Yare..you guys could starta talk show or be Sports casters with names like that together. 2
Kamille Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 (edited) Oh did I tell you that he has a gf? And you're posting about this guy because...? The answer to this one seems easy: who cares what he wants? You shouldn't waste your time giving this guy a second thought. ETA: And here is why you shouldn't waste your time: if he is interested in you and makes a move, he proves he's a cheater. If, instead, all he wants is an ego stroke, he proves he's willing to mislead you just for his own benefit. Edited April 21, 2012 by Kamille
carhill Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Oh did I tell you that he has a gf? I saw her, but he never talks about her, everytime I bring up the word "girlfriend" he changes subject. Concur on the nearly textbook situational ego feed but I have a question. How do you know that this person is his girlfriend? Have you seen them kiss like lovers? Did she announce this to you? What? You said you saw her. OK, yeah, we see people all the time. What binds her to him, in irrefutable actions?
jobaba Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 So a few months ago, I wrote on here about having a crush on a man who works at my gym. Well it leaded nowhere, not that he rejected me or anything, but I didn't show him that I had a crush on him and his behavior was ambiguous so I dropped it and the crush faded away. I was going to put him out of my life, but since he kept talking to me I said why not be friend with him! Now this is where his behavior is weird: He was going to travel, and I wanted to write him a little list of what he could bring me from there, instead, he told me to send him a text of what I want and gave me his phone number, I texted him and got no response back not even a "ok" or anything...) Since I got his number I sent him probably 2 or 3 texts and never got a response back. I wasn't trying to hit on him or anything in my texts, I was usually asking him something. His reason of not replying? He said he prefers to talk to me when he sees me... I've noticed he has 2 phones. As reading this you might think this guy doesn't give a crap about you and doesn't know how to tell you to leave him alone, yet, when I go to the gym he's all over me, if I ignore him (because sometimes I'm in a rush and don't want to talk to people) he will do anything to catch my attention, he always stop me at his desk to talk with him before I start exercising, he often picks on me but always in a funny manner, he has the reputation of forgetting everything yet he remembers every small detail that I tell him about me, when he goes inside the exercise rooms, he just ignores everyone but me (eventhough he knows almost everyone in the gym). Once I accidentaly sent him a text instead of my bff about not feeling well at all, wanting to cry and all, he of course didnt reply, but the next time he saw me, he was very concerned about me and told me i should have come see him that day etc.. I could go on and on. He also suggested a few times that we should hang out/ go out etc..but nothing has happened yet Oh did I tell you that he has a gf? I saw her, but he never talks about her, everytime I bring up the word "girlfriend" he changes subject. Now what I am wondering is; what does he want ? sometimes I feel like he doesn't want my friendship then why not just ignoring me ? He's weird , I don't understand him. I appreciate him as a friend, I think he's fun to be around, but his behavior sometimes confuses me. Opinions are needed please This is usually territory for the male brain, but I know your situation all too well. You really like the guy still and your mind is conjuring up scenarios while he is coming around and wants you. While for a female pursuer, the scenario of him turning around is MUCH higher than for a male pursuer in the same scenario, I'd say it's mostly in your mind. Put it this way, if it was some ugly guy doing the same stuff to you, would you care?
Author sonrisa Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 And you're posting about this guy because...? The answer to this one seems easy: who cares what he wants? You shouldn't waste your time giving this guy a second thought. ETA: And here is why you shouldn't waste your time: if he is interested in you and makes a move, he proves he's a cheater. If, instead, all he wants is an ego stroke, he proves he's willing to mislead you just for his own benefit. I'm posting because I'd like to know whether his behavior is "friendly" or not, like we're supposed to be friends, why ignore my text messages but be all over me when you see me ? That's just makes no sense, I'd like to know if he wants us to be friends or if he's playing with me. That's why I was asking if other guys behave this way with their girl-friends.
Author sonrisa Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 Concur on the nearly textbook situational ego feed but I have a question. How do you know that this person is his girlfriend? Have you seen them kiss like lovers? Did she announce this to you? What? You said you saw her. OK, yeah, we see people all the time. What binds her to him, in irrefutable actions? No I haven't seen them kiss, but I once heard him talking to her on the phone, and she often comes pick him up at his job or sometimes she just stay around his desk and just giver other women that "look".
Author sonrisa Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 This is usually territory for the male brain, but I know your situation all too well. You really like the guy still and your mind is conjuring up scenarios while he is coming around and wants you. While for a female pursuer, the scenario of him turning around is MUCH higher than for a male pursuer in the same scenario, I'd say it's mostly in your mind. Put it this way, if it was some ugly guy doing the same stuff to you, would you care? No I don't like him anymore, I still think he's attractive though. If it was some ugly guy that pretended to be my friend yet ignored my texts or calls yes I'd care cause that's not how friends are supposed to be.
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