raven18 Posted June 19, 2004 Posted June 19, 2004 Hey, I just started an LDR with my guy about a month ago, but already it seems like torture :-( I know I probably am just complaining, since I am sure lots of LDR are a lot worse than mine (he calls me almost every night, and we chat on aim pretty often. we've both written poetry for/about each other. oh, and he lives about 10 hrs away driving distance, about 200 dollars RT plane ride away), but sometimes I just wish he was here holding me and I get so lonely thinking about it and wondering when we will be together physically again. How do you guys get over the loneliness sometimes? I mean, I love the feeling that someone out there loves me and cares for me alot, but sometimes I just want physical attention as well. Sorry that I am just complaining and ranting, but I really wish he was here with me again. btw, our ldr could be a local relationship after we both grad (he moved bc he transferred to another school) in at least 2 years most likely. but we are both not sure if we want to live where we are going to school so we might just move to somewhere else alltogether eventually, who knows. i miss him. ps also, my ex and I were in a LDR for about 4 or 5 months (I had to go home for 2 semesters) and then we had probs and he broke up with me. I hope this wouldn't happen this time. :-/
kirkyswife Posted June 19, 2004 Posted June 19, 2004 My husband and I will be married 11 years in July and have had a LDR for 10 yrs. The circumstances surrounding my separation are clearly of a different nature but my belief is true love transcemds time and distance. Am I living in a fairyland, I certainly hope not. We'll be under the same roof in August, but until then I understand your lonliness - I'm sure you'll be just fine - 4 months and counting. Stay in touch!
dstnymusiq Posted June 19, 2004 Posted June 19, 2004 The loneliness, is like a vast empty sea that somehow swallows you whole... tried a little poetic imagery... just to let you know that I completely understand! I don't think mine is nearly as long distance as yours (only a 2 hour drive) but he's the only one with the car... and I must admit... had we not had to move away from each other for the past two months there's no doubt that we would be together still... but we're going through this "break" thing... although we talk every day practically... and at this point he has been the only one with a way to CALL me, so I wonder sometimes if he feels like HE's the only one trying to keep us going... but deep down he has to know that he's not and that I love him so unbelievably much... love is what has connected us so long... anyways i'm rambling... but I totally understand Sometimes I just lay in bed and cry, and I'm not someone who cries alot... except over him I was watching a wedding story on tv today... and I BAWLED thinking about him and how this distance could be destroying us... but I keep trying to tell myself if it's meant to be it will be... I just don't know how to let it be ya know? Cuz I want him SOOOOOO bad, here in my arms... ANYhoo, good luck to you because if he's writing poetry as well it means this definitely is not a one way street for you! (mine HAD been coming to see me about once a week, and he calls on a pretty fair basis... in return all I can really do is keep hoping, hanging around my dorm waiting for his call, writing him, living a life of pure existence knowing that we will be together again one day SOON i hope =) GOOD LUCK!!! And when you get really lonely... remember that there is nothing WRONG with crying! Just turn off the lights and CRY! Watch a good movie and learn to be able to laugh all by yourself! Read books! And do the whole poetry thing... poetry is wonderful! Any time you're lonely just write to him, and then when you get to see him give him a whole novel! haha... listen to music!
whispering_willoww Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 This may sound silly and childish, but i do miss my boyfriend everyday. he is everything to me. I have my ups and downs with him not being here seeing as he just left about 2 weeks ago. We talk on the phone and by messenger everyday but it is still hard. For example, this past friday, i was working at my desk and started missing him really bad, went through a lot of emotions sadness, crying, anger etc but i called him when i started feeling like that. He helped me through it eventhough it's hard, he still reassures me that he loves me and tells me how much he misses me. I have reminders of him all around so when i look at the pictures or things he has given me, I feel a little better. When he first left I still had a shirt of his, I put the shirt on my favorite stuffed pig (yes I am 25 and still have stuffed animals ) and I sleep with it every night. That has become a sort of security blanket for me and it makes me feel closer to him. Even though my LDR just started really and will be short lived if things go in the direction i think they will , just talking to him makes me feel better. I still miss him though and my heart longs to be with him but it's the little things I look at that really make it a little easier.
lnichols Posted June 22, 2004 Posted June 22, 2004 I guess I'm pretty lucky because I do get to see my husband on the weekends, but even at that it is hard. Especially this week, as I am missing him a lot and it is only Tuesday. We talk on the phone at least once a day and we text a lot. It must be really hard since he is the only one to be able to get in touch with you on the phone. We talk every night, usually until one of us falls asleep. It used to bother him when I told him I missed him, since there was really nothing we could do about it. It somehow made him feel pressured. So I asked him last night if it was okay to tell him. I don't want to make him feel bad. I hope things get better for you. Until then, just know that there are others out here in the same boat. We deal with it as best we can. I'm just concentrating on getting through the week, every week, so that I can see him again for those two or so precious days before he leaves again. Be strong. It will get better. That is what I tell myself!
Alegria Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 i am in the same situation as you right now, so i can imagine how you feel. its hard not being able to be together, and it does get very lonely. What to do when you feel like that? i dont really know, as for myself, being alone for a while and thinking about all the good things you've done together makes you feel a lot better, however when you need some physical contact or distraction... i'd say that going out with your friends and just getting hugs from them help. i know its a poor substitute for your guy, but it does help in distracting you, for a while at least. as for my situation... my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years just left to go back to the states (i live in germany) and i am not handling it too well. i have no experience with LDRs whatsoever, so i'd appreciate some advice of how to cope with the present situation, i.e. getting used to him not being there. anyone know any tips?
Phelly Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 I had problems being away from my SO for quite some time...till i found a hobby. Well I don't know if you can really call it a hobby. You see, she is Vietnamese (and her family moved to the US no more than a decade ago) so in her home, her family speaks Vietnamese as their main language. Unfortunately for me I didn't know the first thing about Việt, so when she went away I began to study it. I'm picking it up surprisingly fast, because I suddenly have this great interest in it. I spent about 12 hours studying it yesterday and went to sleep hungry for more. Even though my interest is directly related to my SO(that gives me all the passion I'll ever need), I surprisingly don't find myself thinking about her, even while studying.
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