Flummox Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 My boyfriend used to use online dating and he said that he only contacted women who said they were looking for a relationship. However, he said that half the women he met wore super low cut dresses without bras, showing a ton of cleavage, to the first date. If they're looking for a relationship, why wear hooker garb that makes it seem like all they want is sex? Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 did the women say they were after sex only? or is that what you assume? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flummox Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 They said they were after a relationship, but my boyfriend said that half wore super revealing clothing. It's just what I assume, because if you're looking for a relationship you probably won't dress like you're going to sleep with a guy on the first date. Link to post Share on other sites
firehawk_1 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 its how women are. playing games. inticing them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Some women wear revealing clothing when they're looking for a relationship because they like revealing clothing, like the attention wearing revealing clothing may get them, or think it will attract more men. To me it makes it seem like all they want is sex by people who make judgments about people's desire by non uniform clothing. It's just what I assume, because if you're looking for a relationship you probably won't dress like you're going to sleep with a guy on the first date. Are you suggesting that those that sleep with a guy on the first date aren't looking for a relationship? Is there some sort of timeframe where is sleeping with a guy means you are looking for a relationship aka wait 4 dates, 3 months, etc. To me this implies the notion of if you're looking for a relationship you wait until X time has past for it to be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Even women who are looking for a relationship want to look attractive on dates. Maybe some women show too much cleavage without realizing it, but that doesn't mean they're looking for a one-night stand. You can't make assumptions based on her clothes. If she says she wants a relationship, then she wants a relationship, even if she's dressed a little slutty. Moral of the story: Just because a woman is dressed slutty doesn't mean she is slutty. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Were these dates to coffee shops or nicer bars and restaurants? Could see the point if just coffee dates or casual walking around dates. I appreciate it when a woman shows up stylishly sexy to a date at a nice bar or restaurant, and don't assume she is necessarily looking for NSA and not a relationship. Of course there are limits, I don't want to see their panties poking out of their jeans, garish makeup, too short skirts, but stylish cleavage is just fine by me Link to post Share on other sites
joystickd Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Dave chapelle says it best Dave Chappelle Whore's Uniform Clipta New Video Wave - YouTube 3 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Even women who are looking for a relationship want to look attractive on dates. Maybe some women show too much cleavage without realizing it, but that doesn't mean they're looking for a one-night stand. You can't make assumptions based on her clothes. If she says she wants a relationship, then she wants a relationship, even if she's dressed a little slutty. Moral of the story: Just because a woman is dressed slutty doesn't mean she is slutty. Yeah, I even had a male friend suggest I unbutton one more button to show more chest, and I'm a guy....apparently that's the style. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flummox Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 These were dates at trashy bars. Really though if it's a date you should think about how the other person perceives you. After all, it's a date, not like a casual stroll through the park with your friends. Since I wasn't there, obviously I wasn't the only one who thought this, but my bf had the same impressions. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I wonder why your boyfriend chose to meet women for the first time at trashy bars? I agree that there are more and less appropriate ways to dress depending upon the occasion, and there is such a thing as good fashion sense and taste. But showing cleavage in no way signals that a woman is not looking for a relationship. Especially if she said she IS looking for one. So … since your boyfriend was so certain these girls were just looking for first date sex, was he kind enough to provide that for them? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Get a clue people. Your clothing represents who you are. Could I go to work at a corporate office with my dreads all shaggy and wearing jeans and a tee shirt? No. Id have to nicely style my hair back, and wear a business suit or a casual shirt and tie combo. So dont give me that crap about "dressing slutty doesnt make her slutty" Present yourself in right light if you want to be taken seriously. Edited April 21, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Dave chapelle says it best Dave Chappelle Whore's Uniform Clipta New Video Wave - YouTube Love Dave Chapelle! They said they were after a relationship, but my boyfriend said that half wore super revealing clothing. It's just what I assume, because if you're looking for a relationship you probably won't dress like you're going to sleep with a guy on the first date. I'm not an advocate of sleeping with a guy on the first date nor wearing "super revealing clothing" in public, let alone on a date. However, looking for a relationship and sleeping with a guy on the first date are not mutually exclusive goals for some folks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Well what are the options for a woman to look sexy yet presentable on an early "jeans" date, show the belly? No. Short skirt? No. Wear a sprayed on top or jeans? No. Pretty much leaves a deep neckline and some cleavage. I don't see a problem with it. Link to post Share on other sites
udolipixie Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Dave chapelle says it best Dave Chappelle Whore's Uniform Clipta New Video Wave - YouTube To me men's confusion in the video is a bit illogical as the police has a uniform that is mandated to be worn or commonly known that identifies them. The revealing clothing isn't necessarily a uniform as I don't know an outfit or outfits that whores are mandated or commonly known to wear that identify them. To me the whole angle relies on that woman's clothing are uniforms detailing how sexually available they are. Though I wouldn't be shocked if all/most men thought that it seems not many men can relate to women in nonsexual terms or see how to have sex behind each action a woman does. I do like and know the skit. It's one of the defenses gals I know met use to justify harsh often cruel blasting public ridicule and humiliation of men based on how he dressed. The 'your clothing represents who you are' and 'guys can judge us whores comparing it to taking a person wearing a uniform has that job than I'm justified in..' Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flummox Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Because trashy bars are mainly what's available around here. Besides, who in their right mind would spend a lot of money out at a fancy place for a first date with a girl you're meeting from an online website? And no, he didn't sleep with any of them. He didn't go on any dates with any of them again, for a different reason. And, I agree, clothes make a big first impression, along with the way you move, talk, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Clothes certainly do express who you are, but do you honestly believe that the wearing of revealing clothing automatically MEANS that a woman is not looking for a relationship? There are whole sections of society where ALL GIRLS WEAR is revealing, trashy looking clothing. They would probably be better off if they had fashion makeovers, and I'm not even arguing that they don't come off looking slutty, but it doesn't mean they don't want a relationship. Have you ever watched "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding"? The girls look like prostitutes from the age of 7 or so, but they are going to be virgins until marriage and aren't even allowed to date one on one, ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Flummox Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 If someone's wearing slutty clothes on a first date, I think there's a good chance that this person isn't serious about a relationship. It's not important what I think though-most men dating these women would probably have the same impression. My bf concluded that online women are pretty much just looking for sex. I think what people fail to appreciate is that when dating it matters how the other person perceives you, so stop dishing that feminism BS. The same sort of rules apply to men. I can't really take a man who wears super tight clothing to reveal his muscles seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 So dont give me that crap about "dressing slutty doesnt make her slutty" It doesn't. It might make her look slutty, but that doesn't make her slutty. If a virgin is wearing tight, revealing clothes, does that mean she's a slut? No, it means a lot of people might assume she's a slut. But they would be wrong. Just like if you showed up at work dressed like a lazy bum, that doesn't necessarily mean you are a lazy bum. You just look like one. Yes, it's important to make a good first impression, but I doubt these women are dressing slutty on purpose. They probably think they look nice. I bet they have no idea that some guys think "low-cut shirt = not looking for a relationship." That's quite a leap you're making there. Link to post Share on other sites
firehawk_1 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Get a fvking clue people. Your clothing represents who you are. Could I go to work at a corporate office with my dreads all shaggy and wearing jeans and a tee shirt? Hell no. Id have to nicely style my hair back, and wear a business suit or a casual shirt and tie combo. So dont give me that crap about "dressing slutty doesnt make her slutty" Present yourself in right light if you want to be taken seriously. +1 ditto. I was about to post the same thing. you saved me from doing so! women DO KNOW if they are showing more clevage. they do it intentionally then act all innocent. so please, dont give lame excuses and try to defend yourself on such a matter. facts ARE facts dont like it? Then dont complain if men start staring down your chest... Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 It doesn't. It might make her look slutty, but that doesn't make her slutty. If a virgin is wearing tight, revealing clothes, does that mean she's a slut? No, it means a lot of people might assume she's a slut. But they would be wrong. Just like if you showed up at work dressed like a lazy bum, that doesn't necessarily mean you are a lazy bum. You just look like one. Yes, it's important to make a good first impression, but I doubt these women are dressing slutty on purpose. They probably think they look nice. I bet they have no idea that some guys think "low-cut shirt = not looking for a relationship." That's quite a leap you're making there. Again....clothes are representative of people. Always have, always will be. Thats why punk rockers have a style, thats why businessmen have a style, and thats why newscasters have a style. Get over it and get used to it. No adult should be surprised if people make certain assumptions about them based on how they dress. They are smart enough to know that they should dress in the way they wish people perceive them if they are just getting to know them. Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Because trashy bars are mainly what's available around here. Besides, who in their right mind would spend a lot of money out at a fancy place for a first date with a girl you're meeting from an online website? Oh please. You don't have any casual dining establishments in your area? No coffee shops or burger joints? I doubt it. If someone's wearing slutty clothes on a first date, I think there's a good chance that this person isn't serious about a relationship. And you're wrong. If you want to make assumptions based on a person's clothes, no one can stop you. But your assumptions are wrong. My bf concluded that online women are pretty much just looking for sex. He's wrong about that too. I've done online dating and I was always looking for a relationship. I would ignore men if their profile said they weren't looking for anything serious. I know many women who have done online dating and they were all looking for relationships. Not a single one of them wanted casual sex. Almost all female profiles that I've seen stated that they were looking for a relationship. And I bet the women that your bf dated were actually looking for a relationship. But your bf wasn't listening to them. He took one look at their clothes and jumped to the incorrect conclusion that they just wanted sex. No matter what those women said to the contrary, your bf didn't believe it because he believes that a woman's clothes speak louder than her words or her actions. I guess his mantra is "Her clothes have spoken!" How does he expect to get to know a woman if he makes a snap judgment about her based entirely on what she's wearing? Was he so distracted by the cleavage that he couldn't notice anything else about her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Also, Sure clothes dont mean a persons behavior or personality can be pegged down to a T, but it does mean people will have some perceptions about that person. People make assumptions all the time...just break past impressions and show people the real you despite what you dress like. However, I do think everyone should take it upon themselves to dress well and to dress appropriately for the goal they are going for. So if you are looking for a relationship, maybe its not smart to be dressed like a skank, because youll mostly attract guys who will use you for a pump and dump. The same way I wouldnt wear an American Eagle with a huge eagle on it and blue jeans when I go on a date with a really sweet girl I want to date. The outfit would be fine for the club/bar girl I want a fling with, but for the sweet gal, Id wear a button down of some sort, and nice pants. Feel me? Edited April 20, 2012 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Again....clothes are representative of people. Always have, always will be. Thats why punk rockers have a style, thats why businessmen have a style, and thats why newscasters have a style. Get over it and get used to it. No adult should be surprised if people make certain assumptions about them based on how they dress. They are smart enough to know that they should dress in the way they wish people perceive them if they are just getting to know them. Like...a hoodie and saggy jeans? What does that say? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cypress25 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 No adult should be surprised if people make certain assumptions about them based on how they dress. I'm not saying people don't make assumptions, I'm just saying that those assumptions are often wrong. For example, most people assume I'm a teenager when they first meet me because I'm very short. I can understand their assumption, but I'm not responsible for it. It's not my fault that people jump to conclusions based on my looks. They are smart enough to know that they should dress in the way they wish people perceive them if they are just getting to know them. Not all of us are mind-readers. We don't always know how people perceive us. You might think a woman looks slutty, but maybe she thinks she looks sexy. There's a difference. Some people lack the self-awareness to know how they appear to other people. Just like you lack the self-awareness to realize that you could be wrong about someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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