phineas Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 At some point we all get passed up. We just have to be mature enough to accept that. Yep. That is why I don't dwell on why a woman isn't interested in me. I just go look for another one and see if she is.
zengirl Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 I think a person's preferences are fine -- when they insult everyone who isn't in their preferred list or have narrow preferences but say guys/girls are shallow for not wanting to date them or get all woe-is-me because they cannot meet someone who fits their narrow band of preferences who likes them. . . those I will comment on and say things about. It's never about their actual preferences, though: it's about the gross or entitled attitude that comes with those other things. Everyone should want what they want -- unless it is hindering their happiness in general, and then it's on them to change it. 4
Author joystickd Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 It occurs everyday here on LS: "People who [insert physical characteristic] are [insert personal character attack]." I will make a correction those are generalizations not personal character attacks. Personal character attacks are more specific meaning they would mention a person in particular
Feelsgoodman Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them Very well said. Everyone has the right to their preferences. I constantly get attacked by women on this board because I prefer females who do not engage in ONS's, FWB's, perverted sexual practices, interracial dating, multi-dating and Sex and the City type lifestyle...It's my preference not too date such women because I see them as morally reprehensible and ugly on the inside. I never say that women don't have the right to engage in practices I find foul and unbecoming...it's a free country after all. Yet, I constantly get accused of being a woman hater. I think when you express a preference, those members of the opposite sex who do not fit into your mould interpret your preference as a suggestion that there is something wrong with them. Thus, they become defensive and go on the counter-attack. 1
PlumPrincess Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 People have a right to vent on a dating board. This isn't real life, and the description on the dating forum says "stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!" I'm a mellow, funny guy IRL, never sit around griping about women, feminism, etc., because I have this place to vent out. Dating can be real tough for people who are constantly rejected due to superficial preferences, and I don't begrudge them getting it off their chest. Why is that people on LS so often claim that in real life they are so much more laid-back, cool, easy-going, positive, etc? Is it because it's impossible that we check your claims? 1
Author joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Why is that people on LS so often claim that in real life they are so much more laid-back, cool, easy-going, positive, etc? Is it because it's impossible that we check your claims? I guess it because of the claims of "venting". I say it less venting and more of a pity party sometimes
Author joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Yep. That is why I don't dwell on why a woman isn't interested in me. I just go look for another one and see if she is. Too many out here to waste energy on one
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them People don't like being not included. They aren't getting the mate they wish since they aren't young enough or tall enough so they complain on the internet. It is as if complaining here will matter. They just need a place to vent about the unfairness of the world. The world was against them the day they were born. No one copes well with that. That's why we have religions, drug abuse, and other addictions or obsessions to alleviate the pain but it doesn't. 1
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 not all 'preferences' are healthy. Sure, people can have them, and if it isn't illegal, are free to go after them. I'm also free to warn unwary people to avoid those who have certain preferences... or at least give them some indication of what they are in for if they proceed... that way they can make an informed choice.
Author joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 not all 'preferences' are healthy. Sure, people can have them, and if it isn't illegal, are free to go after them. I'm also free to warn unwary people to avoid those who have certain preferences... or at least give them some indication of what they are in for if they proceed... that way they can make an informed choice. This thread is about preferences not about your freedom to warn people about whatever don't derail it. Stick to the question at hand please. You are wasting my and and other people's time by not staying on topic
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 This thread is about preferences not about your freedom to warn people about whatever don't derail it. Stick to the question at hand please. You are wasting my and and other people's time by not staying on topic You asked "why can't people respect a person's preference" That was my answer. Because not all preferences deserve respect. 1
Author joystickd Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 You asked "why can't people respect a person's preference" That was my answer. Because not all preferences deserve respect. I didn't need all that about warning women.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I didn't need all that about warning women. ok. Here's a suggestion. Create about 100 different avatars and come post to yourself in all the ways you prefer. You wouldn't be the first. 1
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 not all 'preferences' are healthy. Sure, people can have them, and if it isn't illegal, are free to go after them. I'm also free to warn unwary people to avoid those who have certain preferences... or at least give them some indication of what they are in for if they proceed... that way they can make an informed choice. and being the Surgeon General of Beverly Hills you believe you are the definitive arbiter of what is healthy.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 and being the Surgeon General of Beverly Hills you believe you are the definitive arbiter of what is healthy. Nope. just have my opinion like everyone else. Take it or leave it. 1
Alma Mobley Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them I think a lot of people get "bent out of shape" about it because a lot of people's "preferences" actually translate to "prejudices," which is what people get upset about. It is one thing for me to say, "In dating, I prefer white guys" and quite another to say "I would NEVER date a black guy." Do you see the difference? I have preferences too. We all do. I can say what my preferences are, as if that would matter... but I never said I will rule every and all persons who match X (usually an unpreventable) characteristic out; then it's no longer a preference but a prejudice. That prejudice can be age, race, height, who knows. But there is definitely a difference between preferences and prejudices. Hope that helps.
Author joystickd Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 I think a lot of people get "bent out of shape" about it because a lot of people's "preferences" actually translate to "prejudices," which is what people get upset about. It is one thing for me to say, "In dating, I prefer white guys" and quite another to say "I would NEVER date a black guy." Do you see the difference? I have preferences too. We all do. I can say what my preferences are, as if that would matter... but I never said I will rule every and all persons who match X (usually an unpreventable) characteristic out; then it's no longer a preference but a prejudice. That prejudice can be age, race, height, who knows. But there is definitely a difference between preferences and prejudices. Hope that helps. At the end of the day its what they prefer. I date outside my race and I don't get mad if a woman said I would never date a black guy but part of that has to do with the fact that is a nicer rejection I have had. I remember the "who talks to a lame like you" or " Hell no mother f****r".
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I'm really learning not to care. The only situation where I would care about a person's preferences is if I really got to know them, I knew they really liked me as a person and they rejected me on the basis of something physical. But since I won't ever allow myself to be in that situation again, everything should be copacetic. I could see myself getting rejected by a 4'8" woman for being too short. Meh. Who cares? Next.
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 If you're going to tell me you never got angry when you got along great with a woman who had a lot in common with you and then rejected you because of your height or something like that I'm going to call BS. I'm not talking about cold approaches here. I think what infuriates males is when they actually get to know a woman, find out they're compatible, then get friend-zoned up the ass because of something they can't change like the fact that you're "only" 3 inches taller than the girl, or you have red hair, or etc. Oh yea. That's what I'm talking about. Exactly. Like getting to know a woman for a whole year, getting rejected, and then have her date a guy she barely met 3 weeks later. That was 2011 for me. Yup. No way to avoid bitterness there. But you can avoid that situation by never investing in a woman before you know she likes you. And I have formulated a plan that I believe is pretty foolproof... 1
TheBigQuestion Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Oh yea. That's what I'm talking about. Exactly. Like getting to know a woman for a whole year, getting rejected, and then have her date a guy she barely met 3 weeks later. That was 2011 for me. Yup. No way to avoid bitterness there. But you can avoid that situation by never investing in a woman before you know she likes you. And I have formulated a plan that I believe is pretty foolproof... Hasn't it been a foregone conclusion since pretty much the dawn of time that going the "friends-first" route with a woman is a terrible idea that rarely works? I've never understood how grown men or any guy past high school age still falls into that trap time and time again.
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Hasn't it been a foregone conclusion since pretty much the dawn of time that going the "friends-first" route with a woman is a terrible idea that rarely works? I've never understood how grown men or any guy past high school age still falls into that trap time and time again. Sometimes it just happens. You work with someone you didn't have feelings for before and it just develops.
Emilia Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 If you're going to tell me you never got angry when you got along great with a woman who had a lot in common with you and then rejected you because of your height or something like that I'm going to call BS. I'm not talking about cold approaches here. I think what infuriates males is when they actually get to know a woman, find out they're compatible, then get friend-zoned up the ass because of something they can't change like the fact that you're "only" 3 inches taller than the girl, or you have red hair, or etc. She never found you sexually attractive. You wasted your time from day one. Next time cut your losses much MUCH sooner.
Titanwolf Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 You don't necessarily have to talk about things you like or you don't like. But I don't understand why people voluntarily talk positively about something they won't accept in person when they are in public. I really think this is part of American culture. You hit the f******* nail on the head with this one.
Author joystickd Posted September 24, 2012 Author Posted September 24, 2012 I think a lot of people get "bent out of shape" about it because a lot of people's "preferences" actually translate to "prejudices," which is what people get upset about. It is one thing for me to say, "In dating, I prefer white guys" and quite another to say "I would NEVER date a black guy." Do you see the difference? I have preferences too. We all do. I can say what my preferences are, as if that would matter... but I never said I will rule every and all persons who match X (usually an unpreventable) characteristic out; then it's no longer a preference but a prejudice. That prejudice can be age, race, height, who knows. But there is definitely a difference between preferences and prejudices. Hope that helps. Not really. It's what the prefer the only difference is the way it's worded.
El Brujo Posted September 25, 2012 Posted September 25, 2012 I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them True, but IMO some guys don't mind being labeled as juvenile and immature for poking fun at another guy's prefs. They just get a kick out of grabbing the ball and running with it. That's why I don't talk about my prefs on LS... because of the "nyah nyah" factor.
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