Why can't people respect a person's preference?

[joystickd]

I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them

[aj22one]

Haha, being the king of restrictive preferences the only thing I don't like is if someone has particular standards but complains that not enough people meet them.

 

A girl who likes tall guys is fine. A girl who likes tall guys but complains about not having enough prospects is annoying.

[firehawk_1]

exactly but at the same time you MUST BE REALISTIC! not what you imagine or what is in lala land.... be real otherwise you will NEVER find that person. if you do, you will be so old that you will forget what you were looking for in the first place. it HAS happened to many people.

 

dont get hung up on looks. women then make it out that if you arent of this height, this age or look like this, then you cant function.... its like wtf

[OliveOyl]

I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them

 

Nothing wrong with preferences. We all have them.

 

What bothers me is when people go around talking about "low-quality" and "high-quality" especially concerning traits that the person can do nothing about: such as height, race, age, and natural hair density/color.

[sweetjasmine]

I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them

 

I don't object to people having preferences.

 

But it's offensive when someone states that those who don't meet said preferences are inferior, garbage, trash, "low quality," etc. And it's annoying when someone defends their own preferences but gets angry at others for having theirs.

[dasein]

People have a right to vent on a dating board. This isn't real life, and the description on the dating forum says "stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!" I'm a mellow, funny guy IRL, never sit around griping about women, feminism, etc., because I have this place to vent out. Dating can be real tough for people who are constantly rejected due to superficial preferences, and I don't begrudge them getting it off their chest.

[irc333]

I don't object to people having preferences.

 

But it's offensive when someone states that those who don't meet said preferences are inferior, garbage, trash, "low quality," etc. And it's annoying when someone defends their own preferences but gets angry at others for having theirs.

 

 

Yeah, like there was this one woman in my area....she said, "All that ask as that you at least be 5'10"

 

And she's like only 5'4" and could stand to loose a few pounds. Like she's one to have such unrealistic standards.

 

A lot of "Do not email me if you're this tall" and they're only 5'0" and give the "I wear heels" excuse.

 

And they even get pissy about it in their own profile.

[joystickd]

People have a right to vent on a dating board. This isn't real life, and the description on the dating forum says "stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!" I'm a mellow, funny guy IRL, never sit around griping about women, feminism, etc., because I have this place to vent out. Dating can be real tough for people who are constantly rejected due to superficial preferences, and I don't begrudge them getting it off their chest.

I think we all understand its a place to vent but its hypocritical to whine about the opposite sex's preferences when you have preferences. Honestly I come up here for the entertainment lol

[Els]

I don't object to people having preferences.

 

But it's offensive when someone states that those who don't meet said preferences are inferior, garbage, trash, "low quality," etc. And it's annoying when someone defends their own preferences but gets angry at others for having theirs.

 

This.

 

Or stating one's own preferences in great detail and then getting depressed when 'nobody' wants them, although what they really mean is that nobody within their narrow subset of preferences wants them.

 

Or not thinking through the possible consequences of going for a particular set of people. 50 year olds can date 20 year olds all they like, IMO, but I'm only going to laugh at them when they come here griping about 'all women being immature, drama-filled gold-diggers'. Equally so, a woman can have a preference for that cool bad-boy with a criminal record and a dangerous lifestyle, but she's really just digging her own relationship grave, if not her own.

Edited April 20, 2012 by Elswyth

[yongyong]

I see different types of women's profile on online dating.

A girl looking for guys who's at least 5'10". A girl who lists all kinds of personality no men can't have. A white girl looking for a white guy. A girl looking for a fit guy etc.

There are girls who don't list things about their future date too.

The thing is whether they write those standars or not, they will still reply to the guy they want.

Let's say this shorty is looking for a guy who's min 6 foot.

even if you are not 6 foot, Why should you get mad? there are plenty of girls out there.

 

Another note, I am not stupid to say 'neh I don't want to date a girl who has bunch of tattoos' in front of a girl who has tattoos. But this girl doesn't have tattoos and doesn't even date guys with tattoos. However, she might say 'why are you so superficial? she might have sweet personality!'

Some people just want to appear smart, fair, non-judgemental in public. This makes me sick. (a good example is a classroom discussion. Listen to how they all speak like politicians)

You don't necessarily have to talk about things you like or you don't like. But I don't understand why people voluntarily talk positively about something they won't accept in person when they are in public. I really think this is part of American culture.

[phineas]

eh, in real life I can care less if a woman is picky.

But I LOL hard when she claims there are no good guys out there when she is literally surrounded by available men.

 

Then it just gets pathetic when she's over weight, makes minimum wage or doesn't even work & is looking for an athletic rich guys who's ya know tall.

 

That's when I literally pull a chevy chase in caddyshack by looking at my watch-less wrist & say "I got a thing" & just go somewhere else.

[RiverRunning]

Just because a woman's short or fat or very thin doesn't mean she can't be physically attracted to certain traits, even to be a little picky about them. If it's enough that she's that picky about it, it probably means it's because if she went for someone who was, say, too short...she just wouldn't be attracted. Better to get that out of the way early if it's a dealbreaker for her. Personally, I think it's stupid to so rigidly adhere to superficial little dealbreakers like that, but that's me. I've dated a whole spectrum of people, tall and short, chubby and thin.

 

For a little while, I lurked on a very popular feeder site. Believe it or not...most of the men on these sites are either very in shape or very fat. Most of the women are just fat. Some of the fat guys were complaining that they can't get any fat women - most of the women are still attracted to thin or muscular guys on this particular forum.

 

I could never say to someone, "You're fat, so you SHOULD be attracted to other fat people." Nor would I say to a thin person, "You're thin, so you can only be attracted to thin people, or it's wrong." It's absurd. The fact is...people like all sorts of different things. And they're right to have those values.

 

I find it disturbing that so many people look at dating prospects solely for their looks - men and women included. That rather than noting how kind or polite or funny someone seems, the dealbreakers are, "Don't be short, don't be fat." It makes me wonder if these people are looking for a one-night stand or if they're looking for a relationship.

[Star Gazer]

Preferences, in terms of what one is attracted to, should always be respected.

 

Making personal character attacks should not.

[joystickd]

Preferences, in terms of what one is attracted to, should always be respected.

 

Making personal character attacks should not.

Lol! A character attack on the internet come on you take that serious:lmao:

[Star Gazer]

Lol! A character attack on the internet come on you take that serious:lmao:

 

It occurs everyday here on LS: "People who [insert physical characteristic] are [insert personal character attack]."

[joystickd]

It occurs everyday here on LS: "People who [insert physical characteristic] are [insert personal character attack]."

I know but its on the internet with people that hide behind user names. Its not that serious. Most of these people would not even say it to your face if they saw you. The anonymity of the internet gives them courage

[Star Gazer]

I know but its on the internet with people that hide behind user names. Its not that serious. Most of these people would not even say it to your face if they saw you. The anonymity of the internet gives them courage

 

Uh huh... and the same goes for a preference. What's the point of this thread you started, exactly?

[joystickd]

Uh huh... and the same goes for a preference. What's the point of this thread you started, exactly?

The point I made about the personal attack has not bearing with a person's dating preferences. I started this thread to point out how hypocritical it is to complain about preferences in DATING when you have preferences yourself. As I can see the growing consensus in this thread is there are people in agreement with me. Why mention personal attacks on a thread about respecting a person's dating preference? The two have noting to do with each other.

[jobaba]

I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them

 

It's no problem if it's only a preference for some. And it's not a problem if it's JUST A PREFERENCE.

 

For instance, some guys like blondes. Brunettes don't go around complaining that guys prefer blondes. Because tons of guys like brunettes and you'd better believe if there was a hot brunette that walked by that same guy who preferred blondes would take her in a second.

 

But the problem with things like short enough guys or overweight women is that for MOST people, it's not a preference, it's an absolute dealbreaker.

 

So ... if you get passed up enough, you're going to think it's largely because of those 'preferences'.

[dasein]

It occurs everyday here on LS: "People who [insert physical characteristic] are [insert personal character attack]."

 

Those are anonymous posts on a forum, not directed at anyone in particular unless they single a poster or group of posters out, most certainly NOT "personal character attacks" until the TOS of this or any other forum says otherwise. People have a right to state their general opinions here whether -you- like that or not.

[joystickd]

It's no problem if it's only a preference for some. And it's not a problem if it's JUST A PREFERENCE.

 

For instance, some guys like blondes. Brunettes don't go around complaining that guys prefer blondes. Because tons of guys like brunettes and you'd better believe if there was a hot brunette that walked by that same guy who preferred blondes would take her in a second.

 

But the problem with things like short enough guys or overweight women is that for MOST people, it's not a preference, it's an absolute dealbreaker.

 

So ... if you get passed up enough, you're going to think it's largely because of those 'preferences'.

At some point we all get passed up. We just have to be mature enough to accept that.

[gibson]

I'm me, you either like me or you don't. If you don't, that is your problem.

 

I either like you or I don't. If you have an issue with that, that is your problem.

[yongyong]

That sounds funny. I agree fat women have a right to find a fit guy. It's her business and I hope she could find one eventually.

(If this fat girl cries in front of me and talk about this, I will tell her 'you are fat, get real')

 

How about a fit guy is looking for a girl in decent shape? what people would say? you already know right? ('oh don't be so shallow, I have a whale friend. she is very sweet blah blah)

 

 

"I find it disturbing that so many people look at dating prospects solely for their looks - men and women included"

-------------------------------------------------

It's like job hiring process. You find people who meets certain standards (degree, certification, experience etc) then you set up the interview to see if that person is compatible with the company and other co-workers.

What kind of HR manager considers a high school drop out, thinking 'although he doesn't meet our standard, he could have very good people skills'

 

It's the same for looks. you look at the person you are not attracted to at all and think 'hm he/she is not even my type at all but he/she could be very sweet?' Would you really give a chance to him/her?

 

when I talk about looks, American people Automatically think 'oh so you just want to find a hot dumb blonde who doesn't have any personality?' WTF???????????? No I want to find a pretty girl around my level and want to see if she is compatible with me.

 

Good looks give you more chance for the actual interview

 

 

 

Just because a woman's short or fat or very thin doesn't mean she can't be physically attracted to certain traits, even to be a little picky about them. If it's enough that she's that picky about it, it probably means it's because if she went for someone who was, say, too short...she just wouldn't be attracted. Better to get that out of the way early if it's a dealbreaker for her. Personally, I think it's stupid to so rigidly adhere to superficial little dealbreakers like that, but that's me. I've dated a whole spectrum of people, tall and short, chubby and thin.

 

For a little while, I lurked on a very popular feeder site. Believe it or not...most of the men on these sites are either very in shape or very fat. Most of the women are just fat. Some of the fat guys were complaining that they can't get any fat women - most of the women are still attracted to thin or muscular guys on this particular forum.

 

I could never say to someone, "You're fat, so you SHOULD be attracted to other fat people." Nor would I say to a thin person, "You're thin, so you can only be attracted to thin people, or it's wrong." It's absurd. The fact is...people like all sorts of different things. And they're right to have those values.

 

I find it disturbing that so many people look at dating prospects solely for their looks - men and women included. That rather than noting how kind or polite or funny someone seems, the dealbreakers are, "Don't be short, don't be fat." It makes me wonder if these people are looking for a one-night stand or if they're looking for a relationship.

[jobaba]

That sounds funny. I agree fat women have a right to find a fit guy. It's her business and I hope she could find one eventually.

(If this fat girl cries in front of me and talk about this, I will tell her 'you are fat, get real')

 

How about a fit guy is looking for a girl in decent shape? what people would say? you already know right? ('oh don't be so shallow, I have a whale friend. she is very sweet blah blah)

 

 

"I find it disturbing that so many people look at dating prospects solely for their looks - men and women included"

-------------------------------------------------

It's like job hiring process. You find people who meets certain standards (degree, certification, experience etc) then you set up the interview to see if that person is compatible with the company and other co-workers.

What kind of HR manager considers a high school drop out, thinking 'although he doesn't meet our standard, he could have very good people skills'

 

It's the same for looks. you look at the person you are not attracted to at all and think 'hm he/she is not even my type at all but he/she could be very sweet?' Would you really give a chance to him/her?

 

when I talk about looks, American people Automatically think 'oh so you just want to find a hot dumb blonde who doesn't have any personality?' WTF???????????? No I want to find a pretty girl around my level and want to see if she is compatible with me.

 

Good looks give you more chance for the actual interview

 

Yea, but who defines the leagues ... YOU?

 

I have been walking around with women and people in public thought we were a couple, but I knew for a fact that woman thought she was many leagues above me.

[EasyHeart]

I see users complain about a person wanting a certain height or like youth. Why get bent out of shape about it? Its THAT PERSON'S preference not yours or anyone else. Your reaction to the preference say more about you than it does them

Because it allows people to avoid taking responsibility for themselves.

 

If I'm a failure at dating, I can justify it by saying "Women only like tall/rich/obnoxious/lying guys" or "Men only like thin/helpless/stupid/young women". That way I can avoid responsibility for the fact that the other gender doesn't like me.

 

And as long as I can place the blame on other people (rather than accepting that the problem is actually me), I can avoid doing the hard, painful work of making myself a better person who will attract desirable dating partners.

Edited April 21, 2012 by EasyHeart