Alex DeLarge Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 So I'm kinda confused here.. Hung out with this girl for the first time about a week ago. We went out for drinks, then went back to my place. We started making out and things were escalating to the point of sex. I started to go down her pants and she moved my hand away. I figured "That's okay.. First date, don't want to rush things." We both fell asleep. So then the both of us go out again a week later. Pretty much the same things happen. She moves my hand away from going down her pants. I figured "well okay, it's only the second date." But she also gave me a BJ. When I tried to go down on her she said "I hope you don't hate me".. At this point I'm thinking "what the hell is she talking about". Then she said "I kind of have a medical situation down there." I was kind of alarmed at this point, but I kept my cool. I thanked her for being honest with me and told her I really appreciated it. But then she said "It's not herpes or anything like that.." So now I'm thinking "Well what the hell is it if it's not an std?" but feel strange asking since we've only gone out twice. The girl's really sweet and loving, but I don't know if I can deal with these so called "medical issues" especially when I don't even know what they are! Wondering if any guys could share some experience with similar stories. Or any girls' input would be nice as well. Thanks.
NateC Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Maybe she is a he. I didn't want to say that, but since someone did: surprise!
Babolat Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 I suggest you do one of two things: 1) simply ask her what she means 2) Tell her you understand, and when she feels comfortable to share more you are ready to listen
Joaquin Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Probably a bit of thrush. Just keep it casual and ask her over for a wine and cheese night. In her favour at least she had the decency to tell you before you went down. Edited April 20, 2012 by Joaquin
RiverRunning Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 To be fair to those who DO have STDs, I can't blame them for being upfront as soon as a date is possible. It definitely needs to be brought up before becoming intimate. But I don't fault them for not bringing it up ASAP - it's like unloading all of your baggage right away, destroying any chance it could go further. If I were to meet a guy who had an STD and he told me so from the get-go, I'd bail. But if I got to know him and felt it was worth it to stick around, I might reconsider my stance. She could have any sort of thing going on. I've taken birth control pills that have caused breakthrough bleeding basically the entire freakin' month (and apparently no matter what brand I switch to, it's going to be an issue). There's yeast infections. Maybe an injury or a cut (a little out there, but...come on, anything is possible). Maybe she does have herpes or something. In an atmosphere that ISN'T sexually charged, when she's in a good mood, I would gently encourage her to tell you what it is. Explain that you will do your best to be understanding and that you're not going to be critical of anything she says to you. And mean this. If it does turn out to be, "I've got herpes," try your best to talk to her calmly about it. And this also means THANKING HER for being upfront with you BEFORE having sex. There are some people who would put that above the health of a partner: she is a stand-up person, if it is an STD, to be upfront and honest with you before it gets to that point. And then, after that hang-out, go home and do your research. If you think you'd like to stay with her longer term, are you willing to take the precautions necessary to prevent getting infected yourself? Please don't crush this girl, whatever it may be.
mortensorchid Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Ask her what it is. Then once you know, you will know. And take precautions.
D-Lish Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 If you're not capable of having an open discussion with her about sex, you shouldn't be having sex. If she's too shy about talking about what is going on and you're too afraid to ask- neither of you should be having sex. 1
LoveTKO Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 Kuru....Chancroid....lymphogranuloma....? who knows at this point. Please keep us updated because the suspense is too much!
Star Gazer Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 If it's a "medical situation" "down there" that's not an STD, it's most likely a yeast infection or BV, or even a UTI (she's unclear whether it's vaginal or otherwise).
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