joopjoop90 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 I am a 26 year old male and my ex girlfriend is 24. A few days ago, after dating for six months, she came to break up with me and said that we weren't working out, and that we were too different. I respected her wishes, and i hugged her and we left amicably. Of course, I was miserable and very sad and emotional for the next few days. 3 days later, she calls me and tells me that she misses me and that she made a mistake, so I oblige her in letting her come talk with me. She said that she made a mistake and that we could resolve our relationship issues by being more open and communicative, which is true. At this point, however, I had to be open with some of the things in the past that disappointed me and that I thought she mistreated me in the past. She got a bit offput by this, and left. I was in a state of confusion and said that I would call her soon because I needed to digest. The following day, I hadn't called her because I was so upset, so she sent me a message saying that she felt like she had been dropped. I call her and tell her that I'm very emotional and that I need some time to think and that we should both relax and think a bit. She then yells at me for berating her the previous day about all of the issues I had, and got upset that I hadn't called her back. I said we should take things slow and to perhaps get lunch the coming weekend, but she didn't like the idea. I'm very confused and I don't know what to do. I do think I haven't been very open or communicative with her and what issues I have with how she was treating me, and she certainly said that she would be willing to work on her issues, but I am still very hurt from being broken up with. I feel bad that I had to bring up a laundry list of issues I had with her in the relationship, but I also feel like it wouldnt be honest or fair to her if I withheld my concerns.
january2011 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 I think you did the right thing. I suspect that she was upset because as the disgruntled party, she felt that she was the only one who was entitled to the laundry list and didn't expect that you'd also have concerns. You do need space to clear your head. And if this second go-around is going to have any chance of getting off on the right foot, she's going to have to consider your concerns too. And you're right, honest and open communication.
Author joopjoop90 Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 I think you did the right thing. I suspect that she was upset because as the disgruntled party, she felt that she was the only one who was entitled to the laundry list and didn't expect that you'd also have concerns. You do need space to clear your head. And if this second go-around is going to have any chance of getting off on the right foot, she's going to have to consider your concerns too. And you're right, honest and open communication. Thanks so much for your reply, it means a lot to me
leoc1973 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 exactly what January said. She was thinking it was all you how dare you think something might not be perfect about her! However, maybe you shouldn't have hit her with the whole list at once. You were supposed to be reconciling and maybe talk about things here or there or as they come up. It probably came off to her as more of a time for you to bash her. Stay away from her she knows she made a mistake by dumping you. I think you have the opportunity to take the power here. You didn't call her the next day so she contacted you. She's not ready to let you go just be cool
Author joopjoop90 Posted April 23, 2012 Author Posted April 23, 2012 exactly what January said. She was thinking it was all you how dare you think something might not be perfect about her! However, maybe you shouldn't have hit her with the whole list at once. You were supposed to be reconciling and maybe talk about things here or there or as they come up. It probably came off to her as more of a time for you to bash her. Stay away from her she knows she made a mistake by dumping you. I think you have the opportunity to take the power here. You didn't call her the next day so she contacted you. She's not ready to let you go just be cool Thanks so much!
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