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The Truth About Online Dating


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Posted
I love how you are saying all the women there are crazy. No they are not, but what I have noticed in my area anyway is the guys that are not even very attractive get A LOT of attention online. I don't know what it is, but it is making them think they are hot **** when they are not unfortunately. I have met tons and I mean TONS of guys online. Went on a lot of first dates, usually there was no spark for me. I have a spark with maybe 1 out of 8 online guys....so that is a lot of time wasted I guess.

 

In my area you have to be really pro-active as a female and log in and browse the guys otherwise they will go for the girls that are being aggressive and emailing them first.

 

I've never said all women online are crazy. I've said A LOT of them are and this is from experience. It does go both ways as there are men who are liars and will say anything to get laid. They use online dating as a means to build up a list of potential partners. The more connections they make, the more options they have in their phone.

 

I've gone into it with an open mind and with the hope I would meet a nice woman. I try to be selective in what I READ in a woman's profile. Pictures are good but are they current? Does the person look the same in person? Some people look better in person than in a photo. I try to get a sense from what they write in their profile if they're someone I could see having some chemistry with. From what I've discovered, lots of these women are not telling the truth in their profiles.

 

It comes back to fantasy. These women are expecting a fantasy that is embedded into their heads. If the man doesn't meet this expectation, then it's over right there. These are the types of women who will never be happy.

Posted
I have noticed in my area anyway is the guys that are not even very attractive get A LOT of attention online.

 

How do you know they are?

 

Is it because they're boasting about it, or acting like they are god's gift? Guys are prone to lying and exaggerating how popular they are, because they know damn well girls don't want a guy that nobody else wants.

Posted
How do you know they are?

 

Is it because they're boasting about it, or acting like they are god's gift? Guys are prone to lying and exaggerating how popular they are, because they know damn well girls don't want a guy that nobody else wants.

 

Sometimes that can be an advantage...for example, the whole security issue. If a guy doesn't have tons of options and a girl is attracted, the guy can focus more on her rather than chasing ass all day.

Posted
True lol

we were having a good conversation , but when i said that i had been married , and now divorced , she fking stop talking with me

I dont take it serious because its online dating

They are looking for something that doesnt exist.

 

How do you know she wouldn't have done the same if you'd met her in person first? Sounds like she just didn't want someone who had been married before. Nothing to do with online dating.

Posted

I've met many of my now great friends online. Some were dates that just led to obvious friendship, no obvious physical connection, and that was fine for both parties. I met my last ex online, it ended bad, but I love the girl, and she still has my heart. Online meeting has made a good, obvious impact in my life.

Posted

A female on OKCupid let out a secret today, she said

 

"she enjoys being on OKC because it gives her a EGO BOOST"

Posted (edited)

I've never used online dating, and don't think I will but it seems super easy to meet someone on there for casual stuff. I set up a joke profile with a picture of my dog and got messages from various guys even though my profile clearly said in a relationship and not looking. If you are at least as cute as a dog, you'll probably get some interest.

Edited by Flummox
Posted
a girl attracted to a man who doesn't have a ton of options is a near oxymoron.

 

Not really. If switched around, a guy may seem more attracted to a women who's not exactly swimming in men for similar reasons (other than the simple fact that it's easier with less "competition"). I'd much rather have someone who has 100% attention towards me than attempting to choose between multiple.

 

(Note: 100% doesn't mean literally...)

  • Like 1
Posted
A female on OKCupid let out a secret today, she said

 

"she enjoys being on OKC because it gives her a EGO BOOST"

 

Woman. She's a woman. Really.

  • Like 1
Posted
Woman. She's a woman. Really.

 

well now you know why a guy shouldn't take oLD seriously

Posted
Lots of women, not all of them, are so delusional and really believe they will meet their dream guy online. So many profiles depicting how great a catch they are and want an "equal partner" to share their life with. You meet them in person and they expect Daniel Craig to greet them. It's like the people who go to the convenient store to play the lottery. In their heads they fantasize what they're going to do with all the money if they win, before even purchasing the ticket. Same with these women. They have the bar set to such an astronomical level that the guy doesn't have a remote chance.

 

You have to meet their fantasy expectations on the spot. You don't, it's over.

 

IMO you contact women who are out of your league.

The women definitely get tons of messages and they can choose many very attractive men.

Posted

old is a tool for women to shop out of their league since theyres so many more Men

 

Sites like pof and datehookup are basically plain janes[to be nice] with no self awarness aksing for over 6 foot in great shape and financially well of men and get nasty if a average men dare mesage them, its quite hillarious

 

As a average lookign dude with below average height your female online equivalent is probably a leper

Posted
well now you know why a guy shouldn't take oLD seriously

 

Because some women use it to boost their egos? I doubt that's limited to OLD! (or women)

Posted
LOL, what bilge.

 

While her behavior was RUDE, she's obviously looking for a man in her age bracket that hasn't been married yet. There are MANY, MANY young men in their late 20's/early 30's who have NOT been married yet.

 

What she's looking for definitely DOES exist. You just weren't it. She could have been more courteous about it, however.

 

I dont care if she stopped talking with me because im divorced

 

Im just saying why do you stop talking with someone who is divorced ?

We were having a great conversation and laughing .

 

how can you stop talking with someone , when you dont know if he can be the man/women of your life ?

 

I know what i want in a women but im not going to stop talking with her because she was married . doesnt make sense

 

Now divorced = having kids ? divorce = debts ? divorce = baggage ?

Im divorced with no kids , no debts , no baggage AT ALL .

 

I met some girls and they knew that i was divorced , and they didnt care , and they saw that in a good way . i do have experience now and they liked that

 

Im not saying that we have to like each others , but if she wanted to talk with me in the begining , i asked her questions , she answered , we were having fun ,for me its a good start .

 

like i said , i cant complain , i get atention , and dates , but upsets me the way women act in online dating , and some of them put photos from 3 years ago , wtf is that . one girl had a photo with a date of 14/03/08 ????

 

Btw the profile women use , and all the confidence they have when they are choosing the man they want to met , everything changes when you see them , and they just want someone to hug them , care for them , but when they go back to the pc , they dont give a fk how they act with some men ( alot of them are dickheads , but alot want something serious )

 

Online dating sucks , im just waiting for the subscrition to end and thats it , never again .

Posted
I dont care if she stopped talking with me because im divorced

 

Im just saying why do you stop talking with someone who is divorced ?

We were having a great conversation and laughing .

 

how can you stop talking with someone , when you dont know if he can be the man/women of your life ?

 

I know what i want in a women but im not going to stop talking with her because she was married . doesnt make sense

 

Now divorced = having kids ? divorce = debts ? divorce = baggage ?

Im divorced with no kids , no debts , no baggage AT ALL .

 

I met some girls and they knew that i was divorced , and they didnt care , and they saw that in a good way . i do have experience now and they liked that

 

Im not saying that we have to like each others , but if she wanted to talk with me in the begining , i asked her questions , she answered , we were having fun ,for me its a good start .

 

like i said , i cant complain , i get atention , and dates , but upsets me the way women act in online dating , and some of them put photos from 3 years ago , wtf is that . one girl had a photo with a date of 14/03/08 ????

 

Btw the profile women use , and all the confidence they have when they are choosing the man they want to met , everything changes when you see them , and they just want someone to hug them , care for them , but when they go back to the pc , they dont give a fk how they act with some men ( alot of them are dickheads , but alot want something serious )

 

Online dating sucks , im just waiting for the subscrition to end and thats it , never again .

 

 

Maybe that was something you was supposed to tell women upfront in your profile instead of doing the classic SLIP IN-lol

 

Women do the SLIP IN with kids. we will be talking about something and laughing and then she will try and SLIP IN she has a son and tie it to what we are talking about which never works with me

Posted
Maybe that was something you was supposed to tell women upfront in your profile instead of doing the classic SLIP IN-lol

 

Women do the SLIP IN with kids. we will be talking about something and laughing and then she will try and SLIP IN she has a son and tie it to what we are talking about which never works with me

 

Lol , i didnt put that i was divorced because its something a bit personal , and i didnt think that was that important lol

I was thinking that they want a man with other qualities.

  • Author
Posted
IMO you contact women who are out of your league.

The women definitely get tons of messages and they can choose many very attractive men.

 

Women on dating sites are out of my league? lol.

Posted
IMO you contact women who are out of your league.

The women definitely get tons of messages and they can choose many very attractive men.

Thats not an invalid conclusion. The point at which you start to get consistent results (people wanting to meet you + spend more than just 15 mins over a cup of coffee), is probably the point at which your standards match the market. Thats part of the problem for some guys, having to adjust to the fact that their ranking in the online leagues is not the same as it is in real life, in large part explained by your 2nd sentence. (and how many of these men really want to go more than a STR is another question)

Posted

My experience with online dating is: it's like musical chairs, only the music never stops. Everyone is shopping, few are buying.

 

It's just too easy to perceive the next "match" that pops up is the one. I find most people are not very serious about it. I've tried it off and on for years and must say it is more frustrating than not.

Posted

I hear it happens that people find their mate on website dedicated to that cause. However, I am not one of those people and I am pretty sure that others out there are of the same mentality. If it's meant to be, then it's meant to be despite how the two met.

 

The bigger question is "why do we do it"? THe answer is that it helps stroke egos, it gives us an excuse to get out of the house, and we get to have a meal or drinks with someone else. It's a terrible thing when the person does not show up at all, is very late, or (true story) shows up high. People are like that anyway whether or not you are in the online world. As for lying? Everyone's lying about something, the online world gives us the means to do something like that.

Posted

Not sure if this is really relevant, but in my area, most of the women are divorced moms looking for a surgardaddy. Match.com should be called Joke.com because it is quite a joke. You have to pay just to see who checked out your profile, or even sent you an email. About 6 months in for me, and I am now 0-20 on email responses. The few emails women did send me were either way out of my age range, or the profile just didn't seem real.

Posted
Not sure if this is really relevant, but in my area, most of the women are divorced moms looking for a surgardaddy. Match.com should be called Joke.com because it is quite a joke. You have to pay just to see who checked out your profile, or even sent you an email. About 6 months in for me, and I am now 0-20 on email responses. The few emails women did send me were either way out of my age range, or the profile just didn't seem real.

 

Yes I found out that early about Match, then once you pay and see who checked you out they are all UGLY. Can you say SCAM??

Posted
I

 

Im just saying why do you stop talking with someone who is divorced ?

We were having a great conversation and laughing .

 

how can you stop talking with someone , when you dont know if he can be the man/women of your life ?

 

Online dating sucks , im just waiting for the subscrition to end and thats it , never again .

 

I am sure that she stopped talking with you for another reason. It is not the divorce.

It looks like that you were having a great conversation yourself and you did not understand that she did not feel the same way.

If she stopped talking to you, she knew that you cannot be her man.

Perhaps, she was looking for a rational, emotionally balanced man with common sense, impulse control and no drama.

  • Author
Posted

If she stopped talking to you, she knew that you cannot be her man.

Perhaps, she was looking for a rational, emotionally balanced man with common sense, impulse control and no drama.

 

Impulse control? You mean, like, when a woman tests a man by screwing with his head to see how he reacts?

 

I can understand feeling someone out, but to purposely mess with someone to see if you'll get a reaction out of them only makes the woman look worse.

  • Author
Posted
As for lying? Everyone's lying about something, the online world gives us the means to do something like that.

 

This is why people end up bitter and burned. I've read a couple of women's profiles and one in particular jumped out at me. The woman bitched and moaned how there were no real men left and how she wanted a man who was strong and independent like herself. She had morals, values and demanded the same in a partner.

 

Lo and behold, this woman was nothing like what she described. Came off like a Real "Desperate" Housewife of New Jersey. Pictures on her profile where very much conservative and plain. In person, she resembled one of these trashy women trying too hard to be fashionable. She could write a convincing profile of herself but in person couldn't talk at all.

 

If you're going to lie, keep it to a harmless white lie, not lie in an effort to completely fool people.

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