xztjohn Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 so i was walking with my friend from the gym and we saw my ex and i just smiled and said hey she did the same. she didnt text me like last time saying "thanks for smiling at me." when i saw her last time. last time she contacted me was not too long ago where she called me 2 times on both days and texting "can u help me with bio hw i dont want to fail." i just ignore her like ive been doing for 4 months now. today my friends posted pics of us having fun on top of that this girl ive been seeing posted on her wall that we went to a concert, they r friends with her so it showed up on her wall. i check her fb from time to time and the day my pics were posted she started posting pics of her having fun with her bf which she has never done. too be honest i think shes embarassed to be with him caise she left me for a guy who is not attractive as me which she told me herself after the break up. he always post pics of er but she doesnt of him. i block her and her guy from my fb.we broke up for 7 months now and before she would contact me and hardly ever post about her and that guy, but ever since my friends posted pics of me having fun she started to post pics of her and that guy whch she has never done before. why the sudden change?
budley12 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 she's moved on and is enjoying her honeymoon period now and isn't worrying about how you will react to her new life. I think you are looking into things giving yourself false hopes. I would/still do that... my imagination runs wild in hopes of getting back 1
Chi townD Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Agreed, she see that you're moving on and happy, so you should be hurt by what she posts. She doesn't have to hide it or protect you from it anymore. 1
Author xztjohn Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 if that were the case why does she still contact me? plus i have them both blocked from my fb, its not like i would see it anyways. only way i see it is when i log into frieds acct.
Chi townD Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Well, I'm not denying that there might be a twinge of jealousy on her part knowing that you are capable of moving on without her. In a sick sorta way, she'd rather you be a big pile of goo that can't seem to function without her. Helps to stroke her ego a bit. " Awww...poor John, can't seem to get out of bed after we broke up. I hope he feels better soon. I can't believe I meant THAT much to him!"
olivec Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Well, I'm not denying that there might be a twinge of jealousy on her part knowing that you are capable of moving on without her. In a sick sorta way, she'd rather you be a big pile of goo that can't seem to function without her. Helps to stroke her ego a bit. " Awww...poor John, can't seem to get out of bed after we broke up. I hope he feels better soon. I can't believe I meant THAT much to him!" Exactly, my ex did that to me asking me if I was ok and shes sad we dont talk anymore I ignored her that message for about a week. Then i said i'm doing great and moved on in my life. thats it short and sweet. She hasn't contacted me since and I could care less. The op needs to not even worry about her and stop contacting her completely as its not his problem anymore. Period!
budley12 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 john ive done almost the same thing. I blocked my ex and the new person yet I still look at my ex's page on a friends facebook. My ex doesnt really post much and the new person doesnt post anything either... if I had your mentality I would look at this being a sign saying "oh, since my ex and I used to post stuff daily and now they don't maybe they don't like each other as much". Our imaginations can make us come up with the most absurd things. From what you have posted this is what I got out of it: You broke up 7months ago. Have not really talked since 4 months ago. Due to having no contact and you barely seeing her, she is moving on and is thinking you are doing the same. ***When was the last time she contacted you? And... if it was just strictly about a class, what does that show -she is just using you for help. I remember your older posts stating "ex texted asking for bio help" and if I remember right that was a month ago. It sucks man, it really does. I would come up with the most crazy things about my ex. Why he did or didnt do this, or that, or the other thing... it can drive you insane. I'm at 5months since BU and my ex and I lived together on campus for 3 years (we were each others first loves). So I know how ****ty this is. But eventually we have to stop giving our ex's excuses for their actions and we just have to move on, just as our ex's have. By moving on, and truly moving on, there should be no feelings -no good,bad,hostile,awkwardness,etc. Just the memories. To be honest I'm not sure if you ever really move on from loving someone since I have not been through this before, but from what I am understanding by moving on is the only way to heal. Plus, I have heard many stories that say by the time you truly move on, your ex may contact you... the day when we go a full day without thinking of them may be the day they think of us, and will reach out.
Author xztjohn Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 yeah the only thing i need to do now is stop looking at her fb. its been 7 months yet i find it so hard. i look at it less and less now. ive beeen holding strong by ignoring her contacts for about 4 months now. i do wish to talk to her someday. she contacted me before spring break so it has been awhile, i think after that one she realized im not gonna respond to her so she hasnt contacted me since. seeing her yesterday out of nowhere made my chest tensefor a second.
budley12 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 you gotta let her go man. The obsession has to end. Find a new hobby, play a video game. Diablo 3 beta is this weekend, look it up and enjoy. I see my ex on campus all the time with the new guy and it sucks. But each time I see it, it gets easier. I just think to myself, "his loss". Become a better person and focus on you, and please stop trying to see hopes and figuring out what your ex is thinking. Because I can almost guarantee that the answer isnt the one you would want to hear. if she wanted to reconcile, she would
olivec Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 yeah the only thing i need to do now is stop looking at her fb. its been 7 months yet i find it so hard. i look at it less and less now. ive beeen holding strong by ignoring her contacts for about 4 months now. i do wish to talk to her someday. she contacted me before spring break so it has been awhile, i think after that one she realized im not gonna respond to her so she hasnt contacted me since. seeing her yesterday out of nowhere made my chest tensefor a second. Its always gunna be awkward seeing a ex, its just the way it is. The key is to not let it bother you. I've been broke with my ex gf for almost year now. lasttime i spoke to her was in sept on the phone even longer since i last saw her which was a year ago last apr. If i saw her now yes it would be weird however only for a moment as i've gotten way stronger since then and i've moved on. You'll get there to but it takes along time and nobody moves on at the exact same pace.
staringspace Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 yeah the only thing i need to do now is stop looking at her fb. its been 7 months yet i find it so hard. i look at it less and less now. ive beeen holding strong by ignoring her contacts for about 4 months now. i do wish to talk to her someday. she contacted me before spring break so it has been awhile, i think after that one she realized im not gonna respond to her so she hasnt contacted me since. seeing her yesterday out of nowhere made my chest tensefor a second. Block her facebook. Then you don't have to see anything she does, and you can move on properly. Facebook allows us to look into people's lives, and not the accurate view either - just what people want you to see. She might be a bit jealous granted, so posting these pictures of her and her boyfriend - but if you both are out of each other's lives internetwise, it might really help to stop overthinking things like this also and will be much less hard. It helped me, anyway!
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