DjinnAgain Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Would you date somebody without many same gender friends? Without many opposite gender friends? Without many friends in general? I don't think I would date somebody without a strong social network. It doesn't have to be expansive but at least several strong friendships. However, I consider it a positive for someone to have many of the same gender and opposite gender friends. The why seems to show up. (Most the women I have met personally who are proud of not having any female friends, I have learned that there is a reason and it is nothing to be proud about, and that has made me think for guys without male friends as well -- and I would never want to date a guy who only viewed females as sexual objects and not human beings to befriend. I feel like good longterm friends show they are attractive to be around and more likely to be trustworthy and loyal. It's like references. I am not the type of person who likes to go out all the time. I value my alone time and would prefer being active in nature or being snuggled up at home with the one I love to the party and gathering type of thing, but I am social in the sense I generally get along with most people I meet in person and have plenty of people who I can call upon and whom can call upon me. I consider that desirable in a partner as well. How about you?
Feelsgoodman Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 I wouldn't date a woman who had no female friends but lots of males ones (huge red flag). If a woman didn't have many friends in general, it wouldn't be a problem. It just shows that she's not very social...which in some ways is actually a good thing.
wwwjd Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 naw. makes no diff to me, if I like the person. I'm comfortable alone, in a huge crowd, up on stage, where ever. If the person by themself is nice and compatible, isn't that all that matters?
Jane2011 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) I am not the type of person who likes to go out all the time. I value my alone time and would prefer being active in nature or being snuggled up at home with the one I love to the party and gathering type of thing, but I am social in the sense I generally get along with most people I meet in person and have plenty of people who I can call upon and whom can call upon me. I consider that desirable in a partner as well. I'm very similar to what you describe above. Sort of an social introvert; I need alone time, am often 'inside my head,' and like doing many things on my own (going shopping, running errands, going to movies, etc.), BUT I actually have a lot of friends and am very social when I am around people. I could date a person with a lot of friends or a person with few. I've dated both types. I don't know that I have a preference (there are upsides to each), but I know that the recent guy I dated had very few friends, and I actually kinda liked it because he had social skills, regardless, and his not having a lot of friends meant he was very me-focused. I think it's good if one party (to a relationship) has some friends, though; that way the couple has some access to group outings occasionally. (Even though I prefer a lot of couple time, I think that most couples come to a point where their lives are enhanced by having friends to socialize with...together.) Also, I agree with you that I prefer a guy who is capable of having true platonic friendships with the opposite sex. Edited April 20, 2012 by Jane2011
dasein Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Based on prior experience, no I wouldn't date someone with few friends. I also wouldn't date someone with all or mostly "friends" of the opposite sex. I have had many problems dating women who claim that they can't have female friends for whatever reason. Those have all turned out to have personality and emotional issues IME that make them bad bets for a relationship.
garycoleman Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 When I told girls I have no friends, the leave me.
gotye Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 my last bf had like no friends it sucked, I felt obligated to be his everything
monkey00 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Sure. I'm the kind of the guy that has few close friends that are somewhat reliable. And if I'm not around them, I have several hobbies to fill my time as I do enjoy my personal space. I would be okay if the girl were the same or had 1 or 2 friends but had lots of hobbies. I find that as I get older, it gets harder to make new friends and maintain friendships. People my age are all in relationships, so they're growing in a different direction and have different priorities. I'm pretty content with this as it's expected. I'm social to the point of getting along or making small talk with people, but I'm at the age where I don't necessarily want to pour my heart and soul into making friendships with people from scratch. If it happens great, if not then oh well. I'd rather pour more of my time/money into a relationship if I do stumble upon one. Plus friends come and go throughout life, nothing is permanent. In a nutshell I'm an independent person and I do not like it when girls are very clingy/need towards me. It's healthy and important for both parties to have a life outside the relationship, whether or not that involves friends. 2
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