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How do you deal with crazy exes?


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Posted

So I've been dating a guy for over a year now and we are starting to talk about marriage. I am completely in love with him and I know that he loves me just as much. We started our relationship long distance and he recently moved in with me so our relationship has been built on trust and communication from the start. Our problem... his ex-girlfriend. She cheated on him almost two and a half years ago and that was the end of their relationship. We started dating about 5 months after they split. He told her time and again that it was over, that he is happy, and that he wants nothing more to do with her. He even had to block her number from his phone. She continued to contact him through e-mail and mutual friends to tell him either how much she missed him and loved him and wanted him back, or IF she happened to have a boyfriend at the time, she would tell him how happy she was with her new man. She just got married about two months ago, but she is still posting lies about my boyfriend and me all over the internet, saying that they had gotten back together when they never did, that they were still sleeping together for months after him and I started dating, as well as attacking me personally. She will claim to not know me on one post and then turn around and say that I was friends with him waiting to steal him from her in another post. She still has pictures of the two of them up on Facebook and none of her and her new husband; it actually looks like her and my boyfriend are still together, engaged, and a very happy little family with his kids. She makes herself look like the victim all the time to people and gets sympathy from everyone, when at the end of the day, she brought this upon herself. My boyfriend is completely happy with where he is at with his life with me and wouldn't trade it for anything... so why do I let this bother me? I am not an insecure person or a jealous person, but her lies get the best of me. I have not commented on any of her posts because I don't want to stir up all the drama... but I've come very close a few times. The sad thing is that she actually believes all her lies. She claims to be over my boyfriend and very happy with her new husband, but she was still posting all of this stuff a week before her wedding... that doesn't sound like someone that is over their ex to me. I actually feel very sorry for her husband and truly believe that they will be divorced within the first couple years of their marriage... I truly wish her all the happiness in the world and just wish she would leave us alone once and for all!

 

!

Posted

Ignore it. Make sure he ignores it. Make sure friends of you two know it and will ignore it, and then just leave it be.

 

People who act like that will eventually go away without attention and she cannot actually hurt anything with that.

 

(If she gets to the point she can, or is showing up, then restraining order, but at this point, crazy feeds on attention.)

 

Good luck

  • 2 months later...
  • Author
Posted

Thanks! I think it's getting better... things seem to have quieted down... I just hope that it stays that way and she acctually does start putting her attention to her new husband rather than my fiancee and me.

Posted

I'm handicapped in that regard. :cool:

Posted (edited)

Why are you checking out her FB? Both you and your boyfriend should defriend/block/whatever her. She can't see what you are doing, you can't see what she's doing.

 

If she calls or text him, he should completely ignore it. Many phone plans you can block calls and texts. There are apps where if someone you don't like calls you, their call/text is intercepted and they get a message of you choice, like "number inactive" or "text undeliverable".

 

Same with email. And if you have friends in common, tell them you don't want to hear about her and if they bring her up, shut them down.

 

You can't control someone else's crazy, only your own. And it's crazy to be so preoccupied that you are scoping out the pictures on her FB and speculating on the state of her marriage and predicting her inevitable divorce and trying to determine what she really believes.

 

So she's crazy? What's it to you? She's not doing anything to you, YOU are doing it to you. Walk away from the FB.

Edited by MarlyStar
  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

MarlyStar... if it was just FB I would've let it go a long time ago. However, the lies are all over the internet about both of us. If someone were to google our names for a job or some other reason, some of the stuff they would find would be very embarrasing. I've tried to have them removed by contacting the website's administrators, but they don't take them down. She has been known to put people's houses and cars (that they don't even own) for sale on the internet with personal cell phone numbers... leave cell phone numbers in hotel rooms to "call for a good time", and send viruses to other's computers just because she didn't like them. If she were just an innocent ex I wouldn't care... I could care less what she does with her life... but I do care about my reputation and the safey of my son. I don't trust her... she is a vindictive liar and told my boyfriend that she would do whatever she could to ruin his life when he left her.

Posted

lol who cares....bigger problems in the world. The beauty thing about freedom is that we get to express it. Take a breath, chuckle, and move on. Life is way too short for other peoples drama.

Posted
MarlyStar... if it was just FB I would've let it go a long time ago. However, the lies are all over the internet about both of us. If someone were to google our names for a job or some other reason, some of the stuff they would find would be very embarrasing. I've tried to have them removed by contacting the website's administrators, but they don't take them down. She has been known to put people's houses and cars (that they don't even own) for sale on the internet with personal cell phone numbers... leave cell phone numbers in hotel rooms to "call for a good time", and send viruses to other's computers just because she didn't like them. If she were just an innocent ex I wouldn't care... I could care less what she does with her life... but I do care about my reputation and the safey of my son. I don't trust her... she is a vindictive liar and told my boyfriend that she would do whatever she could to ruin his life when he left her.

 

That's fraud. With this information you should go to the police

  • Author
Posted

She did get in legal trouble for those actions.

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