mortensorchid Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 I have noticed this with a male friend of mine in recent years. There is some background to this story, let me explain... A few years ago, I met this man online. The guy is, quite honestly, not the most desirable. He's marginally employed, smokes a lot of pot, and isn't exactly the most responsible. He and I were, though, on and off for a few years. Loneliness, like I said, propels us to do things we otherwise wouldn't. A few months would go by, we would have a weekend here and there, and I'd take him out to parties and things with my friends once in a blue moon. Neither one of us were looking for a commitment, we were both free to be with others. It served a purpose, if you know what I mean. My male friend would criticize me for being with him. He said he couldn't believe I would go for a loser like him, I said "You don't understand". He started razzing me, telling me that someday this guy was going to move in with me and I would be supporting him. I said that's not going to happen, which it didn't. It is now over for good with me and him. This same male friend then gets a girlfriend who was more or less as big a loser as mine was. She is on SSI, pretends that she's crazy to stay on it, and doesn't work. Ask her how she spent the holidays, for example, she would cover her face with her hands, give a demonic laugh, and say "planning my death!". He would complain about her, then he would say "She's my (name of my insignifigant others)" and be rather disgusted with himself. I never said a word about it, nor would I criticize others for their decissions. Not too long ago, she moved in with him because she lost her apartment. They lived together for a few weeks, something went down and he threw her out (which I knew he would do). He said to me that he felt badly about it because she was his soulmate. She has since moved away to the west coast (in her forties no less to restart her life in some hippie nonsense type of thing, not knowing anyone where she moved to) and he's depressed. Don't you just hate that? When the shoe is on the other foot, suddenly it's a different story. Others are free to criticize you if you are with a loser, but all of a sudden if the shoe's on the other foot it's a different story! Makes me mad... What do others think? Have you ever experienced this?
january2011 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 In my experience, people tend to justify/defend their own life choices but criticise others for theirs. Reminds me of the SATC episode, A Woman's Right to Shoes. Even if you have the audacity to point out the hypocrisy, they will still maintain that their situation was unique and not comparable - they need to feel that they are a special snowflake.
Anela Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Yeah, I know how that goes. Edited April 20, 2012 by Anela
dasein Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 LOL what a hypocrite. You should chronicle their relationship in a funny way and when it blows up, give him the journal, complete with parallels to all the hypocritical things he said about your dude and how he did the same things with this woman. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 Yes, one should just keep their mouths shut so that things will not come back to haunt them. But the world's full of lonely people too. He went to the west coast for a business trip not too long ago, I think he went to see her. Not that I am going to ask. Ha ha ha...
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