PIM Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) My girlfriend and I were together for just under a year. We had an amazing relationship, always had fun together and rarely ever fought. Still like many of the stories on this forum she broke up with me. However the twist is that she was always the one that said she was in love and how much she wanted a future with me and to be more serious but for some reason I held back even though I really liked her alot. She got fed up and she broke up with me. Fast forward a month after we break up I call her and we agree to meet up. This is at the point where I pathetically try to get her back and she tells me that she started dating someone 3 weeks after we broke up. She says she has feelings for me but can't be with me right now. We have a teary eyed good bye. From there I went NC for 6 months. One day for some reason I email her and surprisingly enough she emails me back. At the meeting we both give each other mix messages. I tell her that I'm trying to figure out what went wrong with me that didn't let me open up to her. I definitely miss her however I am just starting to figure what went wrong and it's taking some time to sort my stuff out. She's telling me how much she misses me and that she was more into our relationship than the one she is in now and how our sex was so much better. At the same time she says her boyfriend gives her all she needs emotionally. We were pretty touchy-feely the whole time but she didn't want to push it to where it really starts becoming cheating and I respect what she wants. Basically the gist of it all was that she's happy with her boyfriend but maybe someday in the future we'll find each other again. Also she wanted to stay in contact. What do you guys think is going on here? Is she just stringing me along and this is all false hope? Edited April 20, 2012 by PIM
Chrisal23 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Yea you should definitely stop talking to her for your own good. Do you want to be with someone who only chooses you cause they couldn't fInd anyone better? No you deserve someone who chooses you because they see you as someone worth loving. She might have feelings towards you but are you seriously going to wait for her? Not trying to be pushy but it makes me upset how some people use others. Put it this way of she wants to be with you she would leave her current bf to be with you. If she's still going out with him it's probably because she's still trying to work things out with because she wants to be with him but also has you as backup in case things do t work out. In the end it's your choice but realize that not everything she tells you is completely true. Good luck Edited April 20, 2012 by Chrisal23
geegirl Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 (edited) Basically the gist of it all was that she's happy with her boyfriend but maybe someday in the future we'll find each other again. Also she wanted to stay in contact. I find it really amusing when dumper declares that maybe someday in the future things might work out when they don't even know what they'll be having for dinner tomorrow. And then the dumpee gets all giddy and hopeful. People who are selfish love to have as many avenues available to them to suit their needs. A kind and caring ex would have let you go and let you live your life, giving you a chance to also find someone that can give you what her boyfriend is giving her. No, she dangles a carrot. Put your life on hold for crystal ball predictions and you'll soon find yourself wasting months and years waiting for someone to choose you. How sad is that? Waiting to be chosen. Think about it. Stop being a doormat and live your life. She's living hers. While you're at home pining alone and pondering when the prediction will come through, she's going home and canoodling with her boyfriend whom she loves and fulfills all her emotional needs. Harsh but you need to wake up. Edited April 20, 2012 by geegirl 1
HollyBolly Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Is she just stringing me along and this is all false hope? Yes, she is and it is.
Chi townD Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Yeah, I don't know how your able to sit there while she says, " Our sex was better." Is that supposed to make you feel better knowing that she openly stated that she's screwing someone else? I know you're not together anymore, but. DAMN! How about a little tact! Dude, you're wasting your time.
Pens55 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Yep, dont put your life on hold. She isnt. Here's what will happen when you meet a new girl and the ex comes sniffing around... When you dont jump at her command, she will play 20 questions until she finds out you've met someone. Then she will go balistic because you are no longer her little puppy dog. She will probably, only at this point, realize she messed up and that you are wayyyy too good for her. Now the shoe is on the other foot - bet she doesnt act with the same grace you have
sweetheart5381 Posted April 21, 2012 Posted April 21, 2012 (edited) Oh man, this thread literally hurts to read. So, she loves him dearly, wants to be with him...he holds back. He doesn't want to have a "relationship" not ready. She dumps him to prevent the heartbreak that will come upon her. She is is really the dumpee - he doesnt want her, she doesnt feel wanted and she has to do the hard work herself. Then he changes his mind. (She was likely very heartbroken that he didnt want her that way) She moves on (as she so should, he told her he didn't want to be with her that way). She LOVED him and he cast her aside. Very painful. Then she/he sends mixed messages?? Of course... he said he didnt want her at one point and she gave up hoping but still loves him deep down. She is not the one who should be questioned on anything. He gave her up by holding back then wants to know what went wrong... well dude, you gave her up and she is still giving you a chance. Open your eyes. See a different perspective. Hers. Edited April 21, 2012 by sweetheart5381 2
Author PIM Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 @sweetheart5381 Yeah I know it messes me up in the head everyday thinking about how much she cared and made me feel loved and I just wasn't in a place where I was ready for it. I got scared and withdrew and she was hurt and broke up with me. Even when we did break up it wasn't all anger and fireworks but more sadness and tenderness because we got along so well. I do get the feeling deep down she still loves me. I just don't know what to do here since she is seeing someone. I've been doing LC texting every week or couple of weeks. I want to stress it's not like I'm just waiting for her to come around. I've been very active since the breakup, I've hit the gym and I'm in great shape, I have dated and have a few prospects coming up and my career has really taken off. It's not like I'm just waiting for her desperately at home every night. I figure doing LC to at least keep the lines of communication open to a possibly getting back together. Is this a good idea? Or should I go strict NC?
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