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[Hannah1234]

I broke up with someone not long ago, and went on the rebound with a really unsuitable guy that I can see now it would never have worked with. Anyway when things didn't work out with the wrong guy, it really knocked my confidence. I decided to just see how things went as a single woman, and try and forget about men all together. Anyway, at a works do a couple of weeks later a male friend had brought one of his friends with him. We'll call him Peter. Anyway me and peter got chatting, we talked for ages and we basically completely opened up to each other like we'd known each other for years. We kissed, a lot, but we weren't that drunk. Anyway he seemed really into me, and really keen and for about 4/5 days he text me non stop and we got on really well. Then all of a sudden he started going a bit cool. I know he's had a lot of work to do recently, and he's had a big case at work to deal with so I understand he might be busy. Another thing is that he lives about 40 mins away from me, but I didn't think this was a problem as I assumed he wouldn't have wanted my number etc if he thought the distance was an issue. Anyway one night I got a bit brave, so i decided to lay my cards on the table and ask him if whenever he was next free he fancied grabbing some lunch. He said he would see when he was free, so I thought forget him he's obviously not interested. About 5 days after this he called me, and we chatted for a while and he seemed back on form and interested in me again, so I asked if he knew when he was free (I know I sound pushy but I'd rather know now whether he's into me than waiting another month and getting more hurt) and he said he'd let me know. Anyway, about a week passed after this and I called him, but he never answered or rang me. A few days later he text me and now he seems REALLY keen, keener than ever before. Being very complimentary, and saying how attractive he thinks I am etc. But I feel like I'm doing all the running, and I'm not sure whether I'm wasting my time. I do think he's a little shy so I'm wondering whether he doubts I'm interested in him/is nervous about meeting again in person or whether he's just not into me. If he has no intention of ever moving things forward then I don't want to waste my time, and I'm scared of getting hurt! I've over analysed this situation so much, it's starting to drive me insane. p.s I don't think there are any other women on the scene for him (just to add)

[dasein]

Welcome to the forum. Suggest cooling the contacts on your end entirely, and being less immediately responsive to his. If he hasn't asked you out on a date within a couple of weeks, block him or ignore him and move on to other options. Mature adults who are worth your while will want to meet you face to face, not carry on interminable electronic flirtations.

[firehawk_1]

it also isnt right that you had a fling with a wrong guy in the first place. given this, it also shows the type of person you are/will become if you ever get involved in a relationship.... it doesnt make sense why people do these things then say they cant find someone or moan if their partner does it and become hypocritical.

 

suggestion is to keep your distance and to have some self control and improve yourself and make sure you dont fall into any traps or create situations for yourself otherwise you wont be able to trust yourself in the future and that is not good at all and will make you lose your confidence even more.