Ratio of Men that Approach in public vs Ratio of men that look to date through online

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I get lots of mail through OLD, but rarely does anyone approach in person.

I've even had mail from men saying they recognized me from the grocery store or Starbucks...

 

How do you feel about that D-Lish when guys say they recongnized you from a grocery store or Starbucks??

[Woggle]

I only met one woman online and that was before it was the thing. Every other woman I met on the street or through work.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I could never master the totally random thing and I also never mastered online dating. Hopefully I'll never need to.

 

I met my wife at a Ron Paul event. And everyone I've ever seriously dated was from school, social groups or volunteer stuff.

 

Too bad it wasn't a RuPaul event!

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I met my girlfriend through an in public approach. Not really random though, I knew where she worked.

 

I might work a girl who's difficult or shy for a while but she has to give me some indication she's into me. How come we never get to hear about guys approaching you Disenchantedly, the old fart at the gym you didn't like can't be the only one. Are you giving off bad vibes to a guy you like?

 

Yes, that makes sense Gauis. How do you "work" a girl that is difficult (or at least comes off as difficult and shy)? How did you approach you girlfriend?

 

Not that many men approach me. I've had a few men at my gym, other then the old fart that have approached me. But none of those worked out, I did give them a shot though to see if there was anything there. There wasn't. Other then the old guy that was married, one other guy clearly just wanted sex, another guy never dated anyone over 3 months and told me this on our first date, and the other guys just didn't work out. There is one guy at my gym I have liked for a while, and for a little bit I thought he might be a little into me but I think that ship has sailed. I guess other then work, it's where I spend a good deal of time. Usually work, gym, home, in for the night. Minus errands and going out to dinner with girlfriends or family.

 

I'm more of a homebody and really have to push myself to go out. Unfortunetly, due to certain things in my personal life, I've pushed dating way down on the list of "things to do". Admittidly, I'm a bit loney but I'm not exactly the kind of girl most guys are looking to date I think and there are alot of things in my life I need to work out. I have been wanting to change the complete direction of my life. I feel like a bit of a mess right now to be dating.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I seldom, if ever, approach a lady in public. The only place I go on a regular basis is the grocery and I do see women I'd like to approach but never do. I'm afraid I'll come across as a creep or player.

 

Riggs, I've seen a number of attractive men at the grocery store. Both who work there and shopt there. They've smiled at me and where friendly, the guys that shop there. Not sure if they were interested but I would have liked if they had flirted a little and asked me out.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

In the past I've not been very receptive face to face verse online, unless it was mutual friends or we became friends first. I hate to feel like my looks are the primary driving factor in somebody's interest.

 

I did before and do now the cheesy wearing a wedding ring most the time while out to help ward off approaches and to make me not feel badly about a harsh blowoff if somebody approaches with more than friendship obviously on their mind.

 

I do some types of hobby competitions and leave it off there, though; the mutual hobby gives me more hope.

 

I am not sure I've ever cold approached a guy with romantic intent. Never seemed necessary.

 

Thanks for your female input Djinn!

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I cant give a girl the benefit if she doesn't show me interest nope but I'm always approaching when it looks like a good moment to do it. If a girl is acting difficult then it means that she dont like me right? Why else is the reason for her to act that way to me just for talking to her?

 

I don't mean difficult when you are actually talking to her. Just shy and maybe unapproachable before the approach.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

you go to certain places all the time (coffee shops, grocery store, gym, parks etc)

 

So by going online, you can expand your fish net.

 

Use it as a side thing for dating. don't solely depend on it.

 

Do you know how many guys send emails to an average looking or even a fat girl?

 

I picked up this girl who is 8.5 by my scale. (I have strict scale. I know beauty)

If I approached her online, I am 100% sure that she wouldn't even look at my whole profile (she would just skip after looking at small picture above the message)

 

You know beauty? What an odd thing to say.

 

Ugg, I am also so sick of men rating women on scales from 1 -10. I don't see women do this nearly as often. A woman will keep it simple and say "he's attractive", or "he's not very attractive". But htey don't pick a part a man until he is some number on a scale.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Thanks for the responses ....there were a lot of good replies. I would like to reply to everyone but then it would be like a whole page of me talking to myself....

[RiverRunning]

This thread makes me feel better. I have NEVER been approached in person - I have had guys message me on FACEBOOK of all places asking for my number or asking for a date (twice, based on seeing my pictures). I did once have a guy just staring at me out in public, and when our eyes met, he smiled and maintained contact. I ran off like a frightened animal. He may have approached me if I had returned the attention.

 

At least now I can add, "Most guys are afraid of women" to my current explanation as to why I don't get approached: "You're just that fugly."

[gaius]

Yes, that makes sense Gauis. How do you "work" a girl that is difficult (or at least comes off as difficult and shy)? How did you approach you girlfriend?

 

Not that many men approach me. I've had a few men at my gym, other then the old fart that have approached me. But none of those worked out, I did give them a shot though to see if there was anything there. There wasn't. Other then the old guy that was married, one other guy clearly just wanted sex, another guy never dated anyone over 3 months and told me this on our first date, and the other guys just didn't work out. There is one guy at my gym I have liked for a while, and for a little bit I thought he might be a little into me but I think that ship has sailed. I guess other then work, it's where I spend a good deal of time. Usually work, gym, home, in for the night. Minus errands and going out to dinner with girlfriends or family.

 

I'm more of a homebody and really have to push myself to go out. Unfortunetly, due to certain things in my personal life, I've pushed dating way down on the list of "things to do". Admittidly, I'm a bit loney but I'm not exactly the kind of girl most guys are looking to date I think and there are alot of things in my life I need to work out. I have been wanting to change the complete direction of my life. I feel like a bit of a mess right now to be dating.

It's just a term, like working a room. She works in retail so I went around when I thought she was there and asked her to help me find something. She obliged and I struck up a conversation. I received good vibes so before I left I asked for the number and got it. I know a lot of guys don't like to put themselves out there but I'm at the point where I get a pretty good sense if she would be up for it and even if I misfire I don't really care.

 

If she's shy you just have to carry the conversation until you hit on something that she enjoys talking about. Asking her questions or trying to relate to her based on what you know can work wonders too. I haven't met many women who hate talking about themselves.

 

You're already leagues ahead of many other women. I know a female model who rides the subway to work every day and never gets talked to or approached. She wears earphones and gives off such a strong “don't talk to me” vibe it scares all the guys away. Don't assume you aren't what guys want based on previous bad experiences.

[lino]

I've never been into approaching random girls as the chance of success isn't enough to deem it worthwhile in my view.

 

All the women I've ever met were either through people who I knew or they were girls who showed interest in me first.

 

My girlfriend is the hairdresser of my cousin. Met her at my cousin's 30th birthday party sometime ago.

 

Never done online dating and don't ever imagine I will, sounds like a nightmare for men.

Not sure if online dating sites are as popular here as in the USA but I've heard that a lot of people here meet through facebook.

 

Knowing how unpleasantly a lot of women treat honest approaches from men these days, I can imagine random physical approaches from guys will be going down and continue to do so.

A guys time is much better spent going fishing or surfing!

[Disenchantedly Yours]

gaius

It's just a term, like working a room. She works in retail so I went around when I thought she was there and asked her to help me find something. She obliged and I struck up a conversation.

 

That's a nice story. I like it. And it's tactically smart!

 

".... even if I misfire I don't really care. "

 

I think that's a pretty healthy attitude. Although harder to get there for a lot of people.

 

If she's shy you just have to carry the conversation until you hit on something that she enjoys talking about. Asking her questions or trying to relate to her based on what you know can work wonders too. I haven't met many women who hate talking about themselves.

 

I think this is something key a lot of guys miss on. Just how far a little interest goes.

 

Don't assume you aren't what guys want based on previous bad experiences.

 

Thanks for saying that. It's nice to hear. I guess I just feel like a failure at dating so I've withdrawled a bit. Not the most healthy approach but I spent a lot of time trying to force things and I can't do that anymore. I got to let some things go. Which is why I keep hoping I can find a relationship more naturally without the force and the pressure. Which is what online dating feels like to me. Force and pressure. BUT, it's not exactly happeningly naturally either right now.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Knowing how unpleasantly a lot of women treat honest approaches from men these days, I can imagine random physical approaches from guys will be going down and continue to do so.

A guys time is much better spent going fishing or surfing!

 

Or steeling Penguins?

 

 

Sea World Gold Coast: British tourists accused of breaking in and stealing a penguin | Mail Online

[Content]

Riggs, I've seen a number of attractive men at the grocery store. Both who work there and shopt there. They've smiled at me and where friendly, the guys that shop there. Not sure if they were interested but I would have liked if they had flirted a little and asked me out.

 

Why not approach them and flirt? Life's too short not go after what you want

[NateC]

I've never been into approaching random girls as the chance of success isn't enough to deem it worthwhile in my view.

 

All the women I've ever met were either through people who I knew or they were girls who showed interest in me first.

 

My girlfriend is the hairdresser of my cousin. Met her at my cousin's 30th birthday party sometime ago.

 

Never done online dating and don't ever imagine I will, sounds like a nightmare for men.

Not sure if online dating sites are as popular here as in the USA but I've heard that a lot of people here meet through facebook.

 

Knowing how unpleasantly a lot of women treat honest approaches from men these days, I can imagine random physical approaches from guys will be going down and continue to do so.

A guys time is much better spent going fishing or surfing!

 

I feel the same way. I'd much rather actually know the person a bit and see them in context (like say, around their friends or other people) rather than a cold approach. Maybe that's why I've never dated yet, but it's how I feel an honest relationship will actually form.

[AD1980]

since im shy old would proably be best for me though i dont pass most womens numerous checklists you have to get through online

[lino]

Or steeling Penguins?

 

 

Sea World Gold Coast: British tourists accused of breaking in and stealing a penguin | Mail Online

 

Not sure how you steel a penguin but I'd say it will hurt the little fellow!

 

If pinching penguins does it for you then why not? You'll have to do it pretty discretely though, they're very protected here.

 

 

I feel the same way. I'd much rather actually know the person a bit and see them in context (like say, around their friends or other people) rather than a cold approach. Maybe that's why I've never dated yet, but it's how I feel an honest relationship will actually form.

 

It's not guaranteed, I know that from experience, but the chances are better that way.

[GetTheClou]

a girlfriend of mine recently told me that she wouldnt have had sex in the last 5 years without onlinedating as she never gets approached in public.

 

Not to mention she is pretty hot lol. She really expects the "random thing" some ppl in this thread already talked about. I laughed...

 

Why would I EVER approach a woman "just because" on the streets? I wouldnt want that either. But of course you can approach people in certain situations like when sitting in a train and the girl sitting in front of you is reading some college stuff you can start conversation about the course of studies and so on.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Why not approach them and flirt? Life's too short not go after what you want

 

Because I'm not good at flirting and being comfortable approaching. I've tried and I seem to always fail at it. And I guess I would like to be with a man that took the initiative . I'm not saying he has to always take the initiative in our relationship though.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Not sure how you steel a penguin but I'd say it will hurt the little fellow!

 

If pinching penguins does it for you then why not? You'll have to do it pretty discretely though, they're very protected here.

 

I didn't mean for me..I meant for you. Aren't you Australians all adventure and outback......... I am just kiding though.

[Fondue]

I don't use online dating, but when I used to approach prior to really getting involved in my work/career, I never enjoyed the interactions with a woman whom was being a bit difficult and needed to be "warmed up to."

 

That I mean referencing your last question, DY. These girls may answer the questions, respond, but simply not be "into it." So I quickly exit the situation. You can sense this within a minute of the approach.

 

Even if she was interested in me, it is simply not worth it. A girl who enjoys the interaction will return it in a positive manner, not just be boring and "blah."

 

I don't think it is possible to make a defense in this case, saying, "you should probably stick with it, you never know!" Because honestly, if she's not into the conversation now, what makes her worth it later? Why should I bust my ass for someone I don't know?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

And I can understand that Fondue. I guess just as someone that sometimes takes some time to warm up and let my true self come out more, it's a hard thing to bridge from someone like me. Although when someone gets to know me, I am very warm and friendly. But in public places with a bunch of people I don' know too well I am way more reserved and quiet. And I can't force myself to automatically be all of me right away.

[lino]

I didn't mean for me..I meant for you. Aren't you Australians all adventure and outback......... I am just kiding though.

 

 

Yep, wannabe crocodile dundees everywhere around here.

 

I like adventure but not so much the outback, too far from the sea.

[musemaj11]

You know beauty? What an odd thing to say.

 

Ugg, I am also so sick of men rating women on scales from 1 -10. I don't see women do this nearly as often. A woman will keep it simple and say "he's attractive", or "he's not very attractive". But htey don't pick a part a man until he is some number on a scale.

Yes, women dont rate a man's looks the way men rate a womans. But they just instead say, "He is a doctor", "He is a lawyer", "He is a pilot", "or "He is a successful guy".

 

Its the same crap basically.