xxSRMxx Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 When we split up two weeks ago.. My ex deactivated his fb to allow me to get over him apparently! anyway, its all gone quiet from me, he hasnt heard off me since monday morning its been strictly NC and today I see hes back... Now, I dont wish to delete him, ive just unsubscribed from him so that his posts don't pop up and to be totally honest im not into checking his profile to torture myself. He said to me he would know i was changing etc just by my facebook n what not :s strange boy. When I did nose at it breifly (i had too come on) i did notice he hadnt untagged himself from all our pics, there are alot more pics of me and him on his profile than there are on mine, was a bit hurtful to look at them but im sure he looked at them and remembered the good times aswell....shame... Anyway ive been to a concert tonight and that was my status...Its somebody hes dying to see aswell but didnt, i then got 4 mysterious missed calls off a withheld number which i ignored. I never get calls off a withheld!! I dont know if it was him, was just v weird!! Im not even sure what this post is about, just a vent really, I know part of NC is cutting all ties etc but we always said we wouldnt do the whole ''im deleting u off my friends'' thing....and it really doesnt bother me, I know Ive lost him... ive been sitting in my room for 2 weeks pretty much accepting this. I dont cry as much as i used to, the first 7 days id cry all day and all night, I had dinner with the girls last night and i laughed so much that it made me forget everything... the ache is still in my heart but im now kind of pissed off with him a little, ive took him off the pedestal i held him so highly on... I have a long way to go but i am trying more than before. By the way, does anybody feel better at certain times in the day??? i ALWAYS feel better in the evening time, whereas in the afternoons because ive been off college i have been beside myself and hysterical! Looking forward to going back to work and college next week, I think im past the pacing round my living room and going for walks in the middle of the night phase, maybe ill have a bad night, who knows. I have therapy tommorow too....Im gonna ask my therapist that we dont talk about my ex at all....its all about me after all.
NateC Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 You're healing, and it seems like you're slowly progressing to a point where you'll be able to move on and enjoy yourself. It's true that you'll never forget, but it won't have as much of an emotional impact.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 Maybe so, I dont wanna speak too soon just incase I have an emotional breakdown tommorow afternoon! lol..... but the two weeks id spent in my room were v dark dark moments...and when i went into hospital id pretty much hit the point where i could go. One of my best friends is suffering bad with depression from her past too, she has the same issues as me....Found myself motivating her by telling her the only way is up for us now, I thought dam u should really should listen to your own advice. My poor nephew at the age of 12 is stricken with cancer, seeing my sister today and seeing the sadness in her eyes put things into perspective. everybody in life is fighting a battle. Im healthy, attractive and my next boyfriend will be lucky to have me minus my issues, my ex always said if i got rid of my issues id be a truly amazing person...well i dont think he deserves this truly amazing person when i get her back. ITS HIS LOSS. 1
NateC Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 ITS HIS LOSS. This. Always think this and you will never look back.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 One of my best friends is suffering bad with depression from her past too, she has the same issues as me....Found myself motivating her by telling her the only way is up for us now, I thought dam u should really should listen to your own advice. So maybe, in a far-fetched fashion, this could be inspiration for you to dedicate yourself to helping others facing similar situations as yours? If I could go back and "do it all over again", I would be a clinical psychologist. Nobel profession, good pay, set your own hours, respect of the public. Im healthy, attractive and my next boyfriend will be lucky to have me minus my issues, I'll bet you have a sexy British accent to! 1
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 So maybe, in a far-fetched fashion, this could be inspiration for you to dedicate yourself to helping others facing similar situations as yours? If I could go back and "do it all over again", I would be a clinical psychologist. Nobel profession, good pay, set your own hours, respect of the public. I'll bet you have a sexy British accent to! Well I kind of am working towards a career in working helping others (more teaching though) but it all helps right.... Im finally listening to music again!! 1
Mr Scorpio Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 By the way, does anybody feel better at certain times in the day??? i ALWAYS feel better in the evening time, whereas in the afternoons because ive been off college i have been beside myself and hysterical! Absolutely. Although our problems are night and day, I always feel better in the evening and at night. Being closer to sleep -- and having a break from thinking about the things that worry me all day long -- is a comfort. Generally, once I get up and moving I'm alright, but mornings are absolutely terrible for me.
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 Therapy was an absolute godsend today! we did like loads of work on ME, rather than talking about my ex and how upset i was about that...however some of the things that i spoke about made me understand my ex more. Crazy? Either way, ive been out tonight and im home, sober n ready for a good day tommorow, oh and today is the first day i have not cried.
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