Ray1212 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Hey, im a first time user, and i just went through a really rough break up about a week ago. My ex and i had been dating for about 3 years, and we just broke up. Prior to the break up, she was talking about taking breaks, meeting other people etc, and would not stop talking about her new friend bob. At first i was too naive to notice, but bob would come back in a big way. She told me that we both needed to be single and move on, but at the same time, she needed me as her rock/anchor because no one get her like i did. At first i said yes, because i still wanted her in my life, but then i realized i couldnt move on and be broken up as long as i was her rock, i would feel like i was cheating on her. So i told her that, and i said we couldnt have any gray in between us, and that either we were together or we werent, she was my first love and i didnt want to be some shrink for her, it killed me on the inside. So she agreed as well, and then a few hours later, i found out that she had been hooking up with bob only a few days after we broke up, and now i cant stop thinking about it. I feel so used and hurt, i dont get how she could act like she didnt do anything and still expect me to be her rock. This really sucks...any advice on how to get better, i cant sleep, i dont feel like eating, and im constantly angry, i miss being somewhat close to happy =/
january2011 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 You're still pretty fresh from the breakup so it's not surprising that you feel the way that you do. Everything is still raw. Hopefully, you've gone NC since you found about the betrayal. Any further contact is going to cause you more pain. Focus on taking care of yourself. Exercise, venting to close friends and family and focusing on other activities will help to keep your mind occupied. You just need to take one step at a time until everything starts to get a lot clearer. 1
Author Ray1212 Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 thanks a lot, i agree, i feel like a douche bag however, i let her know how i felt in a very harsh way looking back at it. I know i wasnt wrong in saying the stuff i did to her, but i feel guilty for breaking it to her the way i did. is this me just wanting to talk to her or should i just wait a few weeks/months before i say anything to her.
january2011 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Wait until you feel better. If you need to get the thoughts out onto paper, write a letter to her but don't send it. Or, you could just post it on this site.
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