Wthemanjr Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Ok, here's my story. I'm new to the site so bear with me. I've been dating my girl who was my best friend for 6 years for the past 5 months. (I'm 21, she's 22). We basically know a lot about each other because we told each other everything while we were best friends. The relationship started off kind of rough we argued a lot and we didn't agree on everything but we are in love and all that. We had a pretty good sexual life and what not up until school got hard in February. (We both go to the same college) We saw each other enough but after Valentine's day she started getting extremeley stressed out. She has got a big family issue that she has to deal with everyday plus she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life school wise.. We saw usually see each other through out the week when I don't have to work and we would ang out at her place or downtown on the weekend. But after valentines day I only was able to see her during the week because "she didn't want to see me" Finally I basically confronted her about it when I got mad because I needed her for something and she basically told me that she loves me but her life is so stressful that she doesn't really care if the relationship works out or not.. She was telling me that she was thinking crazy things like that ending her life would just be easier.. She said I wasn't very supportive and that I was just thinking selfishly (which I was I admit) so I changed quite a few things about me.. We still argued tho. We got past that and up until spring break we are cool (but I give her some space and don't ask to see her on the weekend.) and I see her right before she goes to chicago.. Everything is fine and she texts me and stuff while she's there and comes back happy to see me and is all over me. I say we should drink for st patricks day and she agrees. The next day though she tells me to drink with my friends.. I immediately call her and ask her why and she tells me she changed her mind because she doesn't feel like doing anything. Then she has a break down and says she is sad and that she loves me but she's stressed out and what not.. We get passed that and the next week we have sex and the week after as well. Now in April I'm off work for a month and we haven't argued an been pretty close since then and last week I take her to the zoo and we have a great time until her cousin pisses her off.. She tells me what happened, and i help her through that.. (It was very minor but she started crying) Some **** happens to me Saturday and I tell her about and she listens and says everything wil be fine and that she loves me... Sunday me and her don't text which i find weird.. Monday she doesn't want to hang out because she has a to study i tell her good luck and she sends me a happy text and what not.. Then Tuesday I run into her in the morning at school and she looks like she tries to avoid me when I see her but her friend waves me over. I talk to her and ask her what's wrong and she acts kind cold and towards me and her friend (who's a girl) says she's just tired and they were up all night studying. I tell her im about to go and go to hug her and then she doesn't even want to hug me.. I ask what's wrong and if i did something or she did and she continues to answer negatively. Then I ask her if she has something to tell me and she says not right now.. OK I text her later that day and she says she was sick and went home i say feel better and no response after that.. The next day I text her that hope she has a good day good morning and that I love her.. no response.. I call her later that night (once) no response.. Ok so today I ask her sister if she's alright and she says yeah she's fine.. Then I ask her why she's been ignoring me and she says "I need some space".. This completely messed me up but I answered in a way she didn't expect me too (hopefully it wasn't a mistake) by say "Sweet I appreciate our time together but I agree we need some space to take care of out business".. I know this is the week of her period and what not but I just don't understand where this came from when we getting along better than we ever did.. I know she is extremely fragile and in a bad place but I thought everything between us was fine. What should I do? I really love this girl and I want to do anything I can to keep her
Author Wthemanjr Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 I also add that she replied "cool" afterwards
blotter Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 If she asks for space, give it to her and then some. Let her see what her life is like without you there tending to her needs. Trying to talk to partners that want space only ends up pushing them away. Keep in mind though, the "i need space/break" is usually code for I am interested in banging someone else. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 What is she so stressed out about? I also think that she is planning on seeing someone else if she isnt already, thats why she needs space.
Author Wthemanjr Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 I know that isn't the case.. well it shouldn't be but that's the last possible thing on the list.. I blocked her on fb as well (Idk if that was smart or not) but she's stressed because she has always been sad since her dad died.. never got over that.. she lives with her mom and sister and is basically taking care of them. Her mom is retired because she pretty much went crazy after her husband died (hears voices, doesn't leave the house, barely leaves her room) and is legally blind. She refuses any help from social workers too. Her sister is 19 and doesn't know what to do with her life isn't in college and sits at all day pretty much doing nothing. She (gf) is pretty much depressed and adding on to that she went to school for nursing but found out she couldn't get in and she's mad she wasted all this time and money and though about having to transfer schools but its too late.. now she's trying to figure out if she wants to be a physical therapist. She works part time at the university cafe which is closing in a couple weeks and she hasn't found or even looked for a job cuz she's doesn't care. She has been on a diet and she's mad cuz she's not loosing as much weight as she wants.. (even though I said I didn't care) and she's on her period.. So yeah like I said I blocked on her fb (since she needs space I'ma give it too her) and protected my tweets.. (she doesn't have twitter but she checks mine from time to time).. I really really want this to work out (We talked about having a family and kids and all the places she wants to go that she initiated) because I love her a lot but idk what i'm supposed to do.. I'm going to canada this weekend with my freinds so that will help me take my mind off of it.. but other than that.
blotter Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Maybe she is just stressed out, either way IMO I think you are handling right. Continue to go out with friends, have fun, and take care of yourself.
Author Wthemanjr Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 thanks guys for your advice.. I'm going to continue to update this when possible. I have friends but a lot of them dont have experience in this situation and the ones that do are going through some tough times of their own.. I appreciate it
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 What is she so stressed out about? I also think that she is planning on seeing someone else if she isnt already, thats why she needs space. Being together a whopping 5 months could do that to a person, LOL.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 If she wants to hang around her friends, but not you, then you know she lost interest. I dont think her stresses play as big a part as she says they do, but you will find out when you see her with someone new. So let her go, you dont want anyone with this many problems anyway, or at least, you dont want anyone that gives you this many excuses.
Author Wthemanjr Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 She doesn't have that many friends and I think Iight have ****ed up I asked her friend about where her mind is and she of course told her I apologized to both people but now idk wat to do
CaliBabe Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I would stop asking people about her. It does not reflect positively on you. It gives the vibe of holding on and not moving forward. Being NC means cutting all contact including asking people about her. At this point you only have yourself and you should be focusing on your own happiness. Take up hobbies, do things that make you happy, and get in the best shape of your life.
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