"Taking a Break" - Not Sure How to Approach

[Ursine1979]

Here’s the (short version) of the story:

 

After a number of months of an essentially perfect relationship, this last weekend my girlfriend informed me that her and I had “gotten too serious” too quickly and that she needed a break for a little while. She couldn’t offer a very specific reason behind the breakup and seemed rather torn and confused about it. While shocked, I accepted her answer and just tried to act calmly and comfort her. I told her that since she wanted space I wasn’t going to contact her, and that when she wanted to talk, she would need to call me. She said that she needed a couple days to think about the whole thing.

 

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday nights we've talked via text (which she initiated), and the conversation has been joking, without much seriousness. Neither one of us has brought up the whole "break" thing.

 

Here’s the Part Where I need advice: At one point in the conversation Tuesday night, my girlfriend asks me if I have any plans for the weekend. I responded that I didn’t (which is true). Then, I asked if she had any plans. Her response was that she busy with her job all weekend. The problems with her response were:

1. It's an answer which only implies.

2. Several weeks ago I noticed she marked herself on facebook as “attending” an event on Sunday night.

3. She would go to the event if at all possible, and has not mentioned a reason she can't go.

4. The event doesn’t start until after her place of business is closed.

 

While I would like to give the benefit of doubt, the problem is that I feel like I might have been deceived. I actually don’t care if she goes (in fact, I would have encouraged it and wouldn't have minded for her to go without me), and frankly she didn't have to tell me, but I do feel hurt that she might be deceiving me.

 

I'm wondering if I should confront her about this and, if so, what should I say?

 

I'm also not sure what it means that she keeps messaging me asking me about my day when she said she needed "a break"? I've tried to be respectful of her space, but she seems to be the one breaking it?

Edited April 19, 2012 by Ursine1979

[Chi townD]

Hmmm...yeah, sounds fishy. This is just speculation, but it wouldn't surprise me if there is someone there at this event that she's interested in. She wants to be free to test the waters and is if there's interest on this other persons end. If something happens then she'll put you to the curb for good, if the guy doesn't return her interest, well, she has you as the fall back. If all the dude does is hit it and quit it, well, she STILL has you as the fall back and the thing is you can't get mad if you find out because, "You were on a break!" Don't you love techincalities! Unfortunately, I've seen this scenario before.

[flitzanu]

i'm going to repeat this as often as necessary.

 

"taking a break" = "i want to sleep with someone other than you"

 

oh she says that's not the case and there isn't another guy? yeah, she's lying.

[BewitchedandBothered]

Here’s the (short version) of the story:

 

After a number of months of an essentially perfect relationship, this last weekend my girlfriend informed me that her and I had “gotten too serious” too quickly and that she needed a break for a little while. She couldn’t offer a very specific reason behind the breakup and seemed rather torn and confused about it. While shocked, I accepted her answer and just tried to act calmly and comfort her. I told her that since she wanted space I wasn’t going to contact her, and that when she wanted to talk, she would need to call me. She said that she needed a couple days to think about the whole thing.

 

Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday nights we've talked via text (which she initiated), and the conversation has been joking, without much seriousness. Neither one of us has brought up the whole "break" thing.

 

Here’s the Part Where I need advice: At one point in the conversation Tuesday night, my girlfriend asks me if I have any plans for the weekend. I responded that I didn’t (which is true). Then, I asked if she had any plans. Her response was that she busy with her job all weekend. The problems with her response were:

1. It's an answer which only implies.

2. Several weeks ago I noticed she marked herself on facebook as “attending” an event on Sunday night.

3. She would go to the event if at all possible, and has not mentioned a reason she can't go.

4. The event doesn’t start until after her place of business is closed.

 

While I would like to give the benefit of doubt, the problem is that I feel like I might have been deceived. I actually don’t care if she goes (in fact, I would have encouraged it and wouldn't have minded for her to go without me), and frankly she didn't have to tell me, but I do feel hurt that she might be deceiving me.

 

I'm wondering if I should confront her about this and, if so, what should I say?

 

I'm also not sure what it means that she keeps messaging me asking me about my day when she said she needed "a break"? I've tried to be respectful of her space, but she seems to be the one breaking it?

 

next time she casually texts you during this...'break'...ask her who the new guy is.