Hope4anangel Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Basically my bf of 1.5 years broke up with me 3 or 4 weeks ago. His son came back in his life and he couldn't balance seeing me and him (very long story but the son has trust issues and doesn't want to meet his dads new gf as his dad's last gf was a bit of a psycho). He still told me/tells me he loves me but spending ALL of his time seeing him or me was making him stressed and ill. His son is adamant about not meeting me... We had NC for like 9 days and then he texts/calls. I didn't answer at first but he kept texting/calling so I eventually gave in and text him back. Was just about daft things that could have been said in a text or e-mail. He asked about getting his stuff back and I said I would drop it off to him during the week. He texts at the start of the week with his new number, I didn't reply. Couple of days later he texts and asks if I am still ok with meeting up. I said I had a lot on and probably wouldn't be until nearer the end of the week. That's that. I log onto Facebook that night and notice he has deleted me as a friend (his Facebook was deactivated for quite some time and he had reactivated it to speak to his cousin abroad and did admit to looking through my pictures/posts because he was missing me). Anyway, I message him saying it hurt he deleted me and he said that he was going to say - he just couldn't torture himself having me as a friend as he would keep looking through my pictures and checking up on me. After that he requested one more night together so we could just be together and cuddle. I agreed (I know it was wrong but I wasn't in any a 'better' place and don't regret it at all as I wasn't anywhere near 'healing'). He came down Monday there and we had an amazing night together. He called me his girlfriend accidentally (total slip of the tongue and I didn't correct him or anything). We spent all night cuddling and laughing apart from one point where I got upset. Told him it was because I hadn't really broke down since the night we split up and was holding it all in. He said he was winning 10-0 because he had cried loads. Said it is the worst thought ever him not being with me. The next day I drop him off home on my way to work and we kiss/cuddle, I get a bit upset and he leaves saying I love you. Blowing me a kiss as I drive away. Later that day he texts saying that he had an amazing night and it's just what he wanted. Was awesome cuddling up to me and that he loves me. Calling me my pet name at the end of his message and putting happy faces and kisses. I replied saying that I had an amzing night too and I loved him. That's the last I heard from him and I am going NC. I am just so confused. I don't know if anyone can shed any light on all of the above? I want him back so much, I am really missing him and just want to be with him. I don't know if just to stay NC? At the end of the day, if he wants me back, he would come back, right? I don't know how to win him back or where I should go from here... It's his birthday on Monday and I am going to send him a card but as far as texting/calling goes from now...that isn't going to happen on my part... Meh
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Sounds to me like he really does not know what he wants and is flip flopping. You are in for a rocky road if you keep this up I think, I see a pattern of push/pull going on here. Be careful, guard yourself. It may be best for you to just say "Look I can't be in and out of your life, so I am going to have to stay out until you figure out what you want" and go NC or possibly LC in your case. Don't worry about "winning him back". That should not be your concern, you should concentrate on keeping yourself healthy, finding things to take you mind off of it otherwise you are just going to torture yourself. I feel for you, it's a rough spot to be in.
Author Hope4anangel Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 Thank you for your reply Is he really confused or does he just want to have that one last night as closure and now I'm not going to hear a word from him? I know I need to start healing and forget about him, it's just so hard. I can't imagine my life without him.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Basically my bf of 1.5 years broke up with me 3 or 4 weeks ago. His son came back in his life and he couldn't balance seeing me and him (very long story but the son has trust issues and doesn't want to meet his dads new gf as his dad's last gf was a bit of a psycho). He still told me/tells me he loves me but spending ALL of his time seeing him or me was making him stressed and ill. His son is adamant about not meeting me... We had NC for like 9 days and then he texts/calls. I didn't answer at first but he kept texting/calling so I eventually gave in and text him back. Was just about daft things that could have been said in a text or e-mail. He asked about getting his stuff back and I said I would drop it off to him during the week. He texts at the start of the week with his new number, I didn't reply. Couple of days later he texts and asks if I am still ok with meeting up. I said I had a lot on and probably wouldn't be until nearer the end of the week. That's that. I log onto Facebook that night and notice he has deleted me as a friend (his Facebook was deactivated for quite some time and he had reactivated it to speak to his cousin abroad and did admit to looking through my pictures/posts because he was missing me). Anyway, I message him saying it hurt he deleted me and he said that he was going to say - he just couldn't torture himself having me as a friend as he would keep looking through my pictures and checking up on me. After that he requested one more night together so we could just be together and cuddle. I agreed (I know it was wrong but I wasn't in any a 'better' place and don't regret it at all as I wasn't anywhere near 'healing'). He came down Monday there and we had an amazing night together. He called me his girlfriend accidentally (total slip of the tongue and I didn't correct him or anything). We spent all night cuddling and laughing apart from one point where I got upset. Told him it was because I hadn't really broke down since the night we split up and was holding it all in. He said he was winning 10-0 because he had cried loads. Said it is the worst thought ever him not being with me. The next day I drop him off home on my way to work and we kiss/cuddle, I get a bit upset and he leaves saying I love you. Blowing me a kiss as I drive away. Later that day he texts saying that he had an amazing night and it's just what he wanted. Was awesome cuddling up to me and that he loves me. Calling me my pet name at the end of his message and putting happy faces and kisses. I replied saying that I had an amzing night too and I loved him. That's the last I heard from him and I am going NC. I am just so confused. I don't know if anyone can shed any light on all of the above? I want him back so much, I am really missing him and just want to be with him. I don't know if just to stay NC? At the end of the day, if he wants me back, he would come back, right? I don't know how to win him back or where I should go from here... It's his birthday on Monday and I am going to send him a card but as far as texting/calling goes from now...that isn't going to happen on my part... Meh How old is the son? Very odd to me; if it's true love, he would find a way to see you. To ask for 'one more night' was wrong, very wrong and selfish of him because there were no guarantees of anything. Don't send him a birthday card; you don't know where you stand with him. Let this bird fly. 2
mpz Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Hope4anangel could you please read my thread again and tell me what you think. I answered some of your questions on there about my relationship. One thing I really can't get my head around was if she was sleeping with someone else why she was still with me. I think the signs were there but I just don't know. I don't want to speak to her anymore, there is just a lot flying around my head. Thanks again x
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