sands Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Me and my boyfriend we broke up almost a year ago, i passed through the depression phase of course but when i realized that i'm over him, i went to talk to him and tell him that i'm over him and i don't think about us anymore and that i'm sorry for what i did wrong in the relationship and bla bla bla.... and we were good since then. Then after summer he came to talk to me and he told me that lately he started to think about us again, and he misses us a lot and he was sorry about breaking up with me.. and at that time i didn't want to get into a relationship and i wasn't having the feelings he was talking about so nothing happened until 2 days ago when we were having a walk and he hugged me coz i was feeling cold, that's when i started crying... he asked me what's wrong, i told him that i started thinking about us again, and i miss him and i'm so lost that i don't know what to do, i feel so high when u take me in ur arms, i feel so amazing when i know that i'm going to see u and so on, and for my surprise he was having the same feeling and he told me that he's going crazy and don't know what to do since the day he talked to me about getting back and i refused, he told me that sometimes i'm so good with him so he thinks that i want him and he acts towards that but other times i'm terrible so he's dissapointed and don't know what to do, he told me: " i still miss u i still want u back but i'm also confused about us because of ur attitude"..... That's the story, now i'm confused, i don't know if i should follow my heart that tells me to get back with him, or my brain that leads to confusion.. plsss help...
gibson Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) Based on what little you have shared... you both seem like generally good people, have a deep mutual respect for one another and enjoy spending time with together. I would just continue doing what you two are doing and see what develops or if anything comes of it. Edited April 19, 2012 by gibson
KathyM Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I would suggest working on whatever issue prevented you from being what you needed to be in the relationship, possibly exploring that with a therapist, and tell your ex that you would like to have the chance to rekindle the relationship, but you need to work out whatever it was that caused you to break up first. Then stay in contact with him while you work on your issues until you get to the point where that will no longer be an issue in your relationship. Then get back together with him officially. If you get back together without working out this issue that caused you to break up in the first place, it will probably just continue to damage your relationship the second time around. That's one of the big reasons why second marriages don't work out often--because people get together without fixing in themselves what caused their first marriage to deteriorate.
Author sands Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 well, it's not something specific that caused us to break up, but the main reason for the break up is the fighting... a month before the breakup we started fighting a lot -like everyday- for some stupid reasons i dont know if that was because of not giving each other the space we were seeing each other almost everyday and the moment we're not together ; we're on the phone instead.. i think thios could be the reason, so that when we meet we find nothing to talk about because we're living each moment together...
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