Orbix Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 If a friend asked you to go out with them would you say yes if you weren't absolutely sure? Sorry about the long post! Really need help on this! There's a girl I knew from college a few years ago, I totally had a crush on her at the time but she had a bf. Recently I noticed her fb profile said she was single. Met her for coffee, it went well and she gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek when we parted. I arranged to meet her for lunch a week later but she had to cancel at the last minute. I said to let me know when she was next free...which she never did! I left it for a few weeks and managed to meet her for coffee again. I asked if she was single and if she'd like to go to a concert some time. She said that'd be nice:-) The problem is since then she's been very difficult to contact. The first week afterwards she was too busy and asked if we could wait a week. we had a lunch date a week after which was good, then she had to cancel the next weeks date. left her a voicemail trying to set up a date this week a few days ago. ...still no answer! What should I do? Do you think she's just trying to let me down gently? Or is she just ridiculously flakey in general! Even though she's known me for ages do you think it's possible she could have changed her mind about me as a "romantic"partner during the course of one lunch date? !
Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) Unfortunately, I think she is avoiding you. She doesn't seem that interested and she doesn't seem to know how to handle the situation, so she is avoiding you. As far as her "changing her mind", I'm not seeing anything at all that indicates any sort of interest in you beyond friendship. She didn't change her mind, she never was romantically interested in the first place. Edited April 19, 2012 by Imajerk17
Author Orbix Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 That's unfortunate. But why wouldn't she say she just wanted to be friends when I asked her out? She lives about 45 mins out of town so she had to drive a long round-trip specially both times she met for coffee. I haven't seen her for 3 years before this!
TheFinalWord Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 If a friend asked you to go out with them would you say yes if you weren't absolutely sure? Sorry about the long post! Really need help on this! There's a girl I knew from college a few years ago, I totally had a crush on her at the time but she had a bf. Recently I noticed her fb profile said she was single. Met her for coffee, it went well and she gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek when we parted. I arranged to meet her for lunch a week later but she had to cancel at the last minute. I said to let me know when she was next free...which she never did! I left it for a few weeks and managed to meet her for coffee again. I asked if she was single and if she'd like to go to a concert some time. She said that'd be nice:-) The problem is since then she's been very difficult to contact. The first week afterwards she was too busy and asked if we could wait a week. we had a lunch date a week after which was good, then she had to cancel the next weeks date. left her a voicemail trying to set up a date this week a few days ago. ...still no answer! What should I do? Do you think she's just trying to let me down gently? Or is she just ridiculously flakey in general! Even though she's known me for ages do you think it's possible she could have changed her mind about me as a "romantic"partner during the course of one lunch date? ! How long has she been single? She may just need time to reflect and heal. If that's the case it will be better for you in the long run to give her that space. Absolutely don't pressure her and keep bugging her. She knows your interested. You're not in a relationship so she doesn't have to contact you back instantly. Giver her space bro or you're going to blow it. Unless she contacts you, maybe in a month or so give HER A CALL...not text. I do know that if her ex was jealous and controlling and she is fresh out of the relationship and you exhibit any similar patterns (trying to encapsulate her) she is going to associate you with his bad behavior.
Author Orbix Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 How long has she been single? I'm not sure how long she's been single, more than 4 months, less than a year. I think they were going out for over 4 years. You think I should wait a month if she doesn't get back to me? What if she didn't get my voicemail?
Emilia Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I'm not sure how long she's been single, more than 4 months, less than a year. I think they were going out for over 4 years. You think I should wait a month if she doesn't get back to me? What if she didn't get my voicemail? She got your voicemail and she has been avoiding you. She isn't interested unfortunately, it doesn't matter why not. She will never give a reason. I think it's best to leave her alone, it sounds like you tried to contact her enough times.
Princess71 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Omg I am in almost the same position as you, op, except in my case, he came to visit me that one time and we made out for a while. After that he backed off. And it makes no sense to me because we were friends so what changed???? I understand your frustration. It bothers me so much. I still can't get over it and it happened a year ago. I called him a few weeks ago and he didn't call me back. I want to call again because this situation frustrates me so much.
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