5-F Dawg Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Hello all...I need some outside advice as I’m going absolutely crazy...and by posting this I was hoping you all could help me. Quick Story of my Relationship with the ex... Met over MySpace, talked for a few months...finally met and it was literally love at first sight... She was 17, I was 20 2nd year of college. Started dating in December 2008. After a few months, I was going to marry this girl. Coming may of 2009, she a church group that she was involved with, where she had to travel outta state for 3 months, figured that if we can get through this it’s the real deal. That was the hardest summer of my life. 1 I was extremely selfish, and thought that if she really loved me she would have never left, I was still able to talk her via phone and text and she pre wrote letters for every week during those 3 months, just like little love notes, and memories and things she wanted to do together when she got back. I couldn’t wait. Things were awesome when she did. The following summer, we hit a rough time, I wanted to ride my bike with motorcycle friends and go out with colleges from work and college. We ended up breaking up, and she had a plan if at the end of the year we still wanted to be together so be it. I worked on myself and became closer to God, and I took her out once a month for perfect dates with little contact during the other weeks. Last few years have been great with little struggles and fights due to my school and work schedules and vice versa with her. This year….. New Years Day 2012 she went on a trip/vacation with 3 of her friends to visit another in a different country. It was hard because I missed her but let her go and wished her to have fun, and was happy for her. She got back a few weeks later, and boom, there was just this stale air between us, and I never could touch on it. I asked her a few times what was going on between us and never got anywhere for answers. She had told me stories of partying and having fun with all her friends going to bars and whatnot…she never approved of my partying or drinking with my friends. A week before Valentine’s Day I took her to the first spot we met a restaurant, got there 5 min before and gave the manager a rose and a letter that I learn how to fold into a heart shape origami. Said some sweet things and asked her to be my valentines. She thought it was cute, and started talking briefly about our relationship, next she whipped out a letter that said how she’s been having trouble this last few months, and how 2 people who seem perfect aren’t, that this is the end of us being together, and she wants me to find amazing women who will love me for me, and that she wanted to end on good terms and not have resentment towards each other. Signed her name and told me that she loved me... We talked for a few mins, I cried like a little B**** in front of her, talked, and then kissed her good bye. She got out told me she loves me and got back into her car and drove off. Haven’t spoke to her since then, 2.5 months. No contact from me or her. I honestly thought I was going to die, but I’m doing better. Tomorrow is her bday. I want to text her soooo bad. I miss her like crazy and yet unsure of if I would ever get back with her. Do I text/call her for her bday?
january2011 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 No, continue with NC. You won't get anything out of contacting her, only more pain. She's not your girlfriend anymore and you're not friends. She doesn't want to be in your life anymore and any contact would just be an intrusion. I suspect something happened during her trip, perhaps she met someone or something made her change her mind about the two of you. Either way, you're not together anymore and the probability that she will explain her actions is remote. Keep focusing on self-care and rebuilding your life without her.
Author 5-F Dawg Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 Well I decided to do it, and go against the grain.... and I sent her a text msg saying" Happy Birthday (her name) Have a good day!" She responded promptly..."Thank you :)" and then sent an additional msg "I hope you're doing well" I decided not to respond. Me being an idiot, today looked on internet and saw that she went out with her friends and that shes been hanging with another man, and that she went out for her bday (she just turned 21)...i saw all the different pics and posts My heart aches for her, and i miss her like crazy!!! If things are meant to be will they come back together? Will I ever hear from her again? Why does my heart hurt?
smile4me Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 im sorry to hear about this. but if shes partying and hanging out then you should be doing the same thing. go out and socialize. You cant do anything until you and her recover/heal. Your hurting because you still care and love her. I know its hard seeing your ex have fun while you miss her. But its for the best. Accept it and move forward because her life goes on with or without you.
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