AngelDollFace Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I understand where you are coming from (poster) but I think you're cheating yourself of meeting a lovely, kind girl. I know that purity is important and I am assuming your desire is at least slightly faith based. If it is faith based I'd keep in mind that the Lord died on the cross to atone for our sins all we have to do is ask for forgiveness and God will forgive- God is this Epic, loving, omnipresent being and his standards seem to be lower than yours. That being said... if I were you I'd focus on finding a girl who cares about you enough to wait until the two of you are married so you can maintain your purity which seems important to you. As for what a woman has done in her past- it's the past. We all make mistakes and we all want to be loved - so it's easy to make those kinds of mistakes. Rather than asking a girl how many men she has been with- I'd ask if she is willing to wait for marriage with *YOU* because it means something to you. That's what really matters. 1
verhrzn Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Let me get this straight: you want a hot, sweet, non-religious girl who has also had no sexual contact before in her life. Yeeeeah, those aren't super thick on the ground. If you can't compromise on the virgin angle, you're gonna have to give on the religious.
wwwjd Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 We were all virgins once. Why do you believe that non-virgins would have a hard time with the concept of being a virgin? based on the replies here of why people don't seem to GET what his hangup is. it is not really a hangup to him at all. but many replies (wordage displays them as the non-virgins) seem to not quite GET why he is asking this. YES, his pool COULD be larger. He chooses not to and avoids a whole pile of anguish. That is his choice and his direction. What is to question there? I hope we can get back to his initial question: WHERE are all the virgins? Or more deeply, "Why don't more girls WAIT to find someone they love anymore, rather than getting it over with in highschool?" I tend to wonder that myself. Is because media has dumbed down sex so much that it is JUST a handshake now? It used to be special, exclusive for someone you really love. What have we got that is so special and exclusive to give to someone now? Our "Words"? 1
ScreamingTrees Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I would not have sex until I was over 18 and felt deeply in love. I didn't require my boyfriend to be a virgin, though. (Boy, he sure wasn't!) Anyway, I understand where you are coming from, but in a way you are putting the cart before the horse and also, you might be almost as bad as guys who are JUST trying to get sex. You are so focussed on the sexual angle that you are putting that ahead of getting to know a person. Most virgin girls won't like that. In my opinion, a person's sex life is none of your business until you are pretty close. That's cool and all, but what if the girl feels that we're not compatible in that specific way? We'd grown close only for it to end abruptly. :s
xxoo Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I would not have sex until I was over 18 and felt deeply in love. I didn't require my boyfriend to be a virgin, though. (Boy, he sure wasn't!) Anyway, I understand where you are coming from, but in a way you are putting the cart before the horse and also, you might be almost as bad as guys who are JUST trying to get sex. You are so focussed on the sexual angle that you are putting that ahead of getting to know a person. Most virgin girls won't like that. I was the same--virgin until over 18, and waited for deep love. I married him, too, but that wasn't in the plans when I chose to have sex with him. And, no, he was not a virgin. Wasn't important to me--and I never questioned whether previous partners were "better". Our connection was unmatched, from first kiss onward. So I do think I know where the OP is coming from, and I agree that he is focusing on the wrong details. A virgin girl (esp a non-religious one) is looking for connection, not being valued for her virginity. Yuck. 1
wwwjd Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 If I choose to ONLY date other girls that both owned and drive their own motorcycles, it is my choice. Maybe there are lots of great girls out there that don't own a cycle. So? A virgin is his choice. Not a big thang. 1
RedRobin Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I'd like to market a line of stylish shirts with a mock turtle neck collar that has a very large printed word on it: VIRGIN or SINGLE or CHRISTIAN or ATHEIST or EASY or DIVORCED or APPROACHABLE or LOVES DOGS Kind of "intention on a sleeve" deal... WHO'S BUYING??? I think most of those shirts are already out there... people just don't want to take the time to notice. On the other hand, I wish there was some kind of subtle 'sign' or symbol for single and looking people Christians have a cross. Gay men can wear their earring on the left side. Married people have wedding rings. Sure, single people have no wedding rings, but alot of them have partners or BF/GF. So, what would the 'symbol' look like for single and looking? Besides a facial expression of desperation/anxiety/over eagerness (just kidding!)
Anela Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 based on the replies here of why people don't seem to GET what his hangup is. it is not really a hangup to him at all. but many replies (wordage displays them as the non-virgins) seem to not quite GET why he is asking this. YES, his pool COULD be larger. He chooses not to and avoids a whole pile of anguish. That is his choice and his direction. What is to question there? I hope we can get back to his initial question: WHERE are all the virgins? Or more deeply, "Why don't more girls WAIT to find someone they love anymore, rather than getting it over with in highschool?" I tend to wonder that myself. Is because media has dumbed down sex so much that it is JUST a handshake now? It used to be special, exclusive for someone you really love. What have we got that is so special and exclusive to give to someone now? Our "Words"? Well, I would wonder the same thing about guys. Sorry for the gender war comment, but I don't see why you restrict your comment to girls. It's not like there are a large number of guys who are voluntarily celibate - as far as I know, anyway. 1
wwwjd Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Gay men can wear their earring on the left side. WHAt the !@%$^@? When did that happen? What happen to "Left is right and right is gay"??? My ear ring is telling people I'm GAY AND LOOKING???? I'll admit I don't keep up on everything.... are you sure about this one?
RedRobin Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 based on the replies here of why people don't seem to GET what his hangup is. it is not really a hangup to him at all. but many replies (wordage displays them as the non-virgins) seem to not quite GET why he is asking this. YES, his pool COULD be larger. He chooses not to and avoids a whole pile of anguish. That is his choice and his direction. What is to question there? I hope we can get back to his initial question: WHERE are all the virgins? Or more deeply, "Why don't more girls WAIT to find someone they love anymore, rather than getting it over with in highschool?" I tend to wonder that myself. Is because media has dumbed down sex so much that it is JUST a handshake now? It used to be special, exclusive for someone you really love. What have we got that is so special and exclusive to give to someone now? Our "Words"? His goal seems contradictory. He wants a woman who isn't necessarily refraining from sex for moral reasons... just one who hasn't happened to find anyone she wanted to share that with until he came along. I'll answer your question for you though. Because men aren't waiting until they are in love. Takes two to tango. We live in a world now where people are much less tolerant of double standards.
RedRobin Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) WHAt the !@%$^@? When did that happen? What happen to "Left is right and right is gay"??? My ear ring is telling people I'm GAY AND LOOKING???? I'll admit I don't keep up on everything.... are you sure about this one? Where I'm from 'right is right'... meaning, not gay. My gay friends wear earrings in both ears though. I'd say avoid earrings altogether, metro man Safer that way. Edited April 19, 2012 by RedRobin
verhrzn Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 WHAt the !@%$^@? When did that happen? What happen to "Left is right and right is gay"??? My ear ring is telling people I'm GAY AND LOOKING???? I'll admit I don't keep up on everything.... are you sure about this one? Oh yeah, this has been a thing I've heard since at least my early college years, so about 6-8 years. Piercings in both ears don't mean anything, far as I know.
wwwjd Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 my just now research shows it doesn't seem to matter much anymore anyway, so I guess I'm okay. I got my left ear way back in school before the whole public gay thing came out of the closet, with left is right and right is wrong (not my judgement, just how it was phrased. man, these disclaimers get old)
RedRobin Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 my just now research shows it doesn't seem to matter much anymore anyway, so I guess I'm okay. I got my left ear way back in school before the whole public gay thing came out of the closet, with left is right and right is wrong (not my judgement, just how it was phrased. man, these disclaimers get old) That is probably something too many people messed up (left, right, WTF??), and decided to throw the whole thing out the window. Makes sense.
ASG Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 "Why don't more girls WAIT to find someone they love anymore, rather than getting it over with in highschool?" Er... I was deeply in love with the guy I lost my virginity to. In hindsight, he wasn't the right guy at all and things didn't last long, but I did love him. Why do you equate love with being older? I was 14. Don't regret a moment of it. He wasn't a virgin and I couldn't care less. 1
Cypress25 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Think about it. Did you read the previous post? As a virgin myself, why would I choose to be with a girl who might appear nice in every way but has had wayyy more partners than me? Why would I want to POSSIBLY compete with her past partners who likely had more experience than me? Even if I told her my situation and why I'd chosen my path, it wouldn't change her likely not being compatible if she's the type to think like that. First of all, there is a middle ground between "virgin" and "promiscuous." Just because she's not a virgin doesn't mean she's had a million partners. Second of all, you're too insecure. Fix that. While it's still understandable, I would still have someone to compare and if I would do way better than her past lover. You need to get over it. Even virgins have a past. Your girl could be comparing you to her ex-boyfriend even if she never had sex with him. Maybe he was more attractive than you. Maybe he was a better kisser than you. Maybe he was smarter than you. Stop worrying about how you compare to other people. Here's an article that might help you: Guys: Stop Being Jealous And Just Get Better At Sex « HowAboutWe – Date Report No the virgin girl I'm looking for is the one that will wait for the right man and believes in a meaningful relationship (not ''I'll only do it in marriage'' type but more like ''I'm waiting for the right moment''). There are plenty of non-virgins who have that attitude. Just because she's not a virgin doesn't mean she's casual about sex. It's possible that she was in a loving relationship before she met you. It's easy to find women who believe in meaningful relationships. They don't have to be virgins. Why don't more girls WAIT to find someone they love anymore, rather than getting it over with in highschool? A lot of girls do. Some people fall in love when they're in high school or college. They may be young, but it's serious to them. 2
veggirl Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 OH YEAH, op your future girl could be "everything but... girl" would that be okay?
ThaWholigan Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 First of all, there is a middle ground between "virgin" and "promiscuous." Just because she's not a virgin doesn't mean she's had a million partners. Second of all, you're too insecure. Fix that. You need to get over it. Even virgins have a past. Your girl could be comparing you to her ex-boyfriend even if she never had sex with him. Maybe he was more attractive than you. Maybe he was a better kisser than you. Maybe he was smarter than you. Stop worrying about how you compare to other people. Here's an article that might help you: Guys: Stop Being Jealous And Just Get Better At Sex « HowAboutWe – Date Report There are plenty of non-virgins who have that attitude. Just because she's not a virgin doesn't mean she's casual about sex. It's possible that she was in a loving relationship before she met you. It's easy to find women who believe in meaningful relationships. They don't have to be virgins. A lot of girls do. Some people fall in love when they're in high school or college. They may be young, but it's serious to them. I really like that article...... 2
DjinnAgain Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 While it's still understandable, I would still have someone to compare and if I would do way better than her past lover. One partner would be a problem? You do know even a virgin can tell whether the sex she is having is enjoyable or not, right?? You're young, I guess by the fact you are talking about numbers? There are people out there that meet your critera. However, if you don't think it is important to wait for marriage, I'm not sure you should hold it against a girl who was in love before you. As for me, if somebody ever asks about the number of guys I've been with, I'm lying my ass off. Not lower, but a lot higher. Because that question implies more of an interest in somebody's past than who they are and I'd rather not be with that person because I have grown and changed and that obsession (still at my age) pretty much says they haven't. Past seems less important when you realize people can and do change over time and you are with the person you know and are with at that moment.
monkey00 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Become a Mormon and you'll meet them easily. First time ever I went on a date with a Mormon girl a few weeks ago and found out in shock she was a virgin...she would never put out for me because they don't believe in pre-marital sex! It was a shame...but I had to let her go.
wwwjd Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Hang in there leoXC. If you keep working at it, you WILL find what you want. Or you can just go ahead and GIVE UP which seems to be the direction many think is best. That seems to go against the topic to me. Like others have said, virgins are everywhere. They just don't stand out as much as barflys or drunk college women. I GUARENTEE sure as you are here, right now there are virgin women out there asking the very same question: Where are all the virgin guys hiding? We know they are out there.... I just saw one post on this internet forum once... 1
wwwjd Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 they don't believe in pre-marital sex! It was a shame...but I had to let her go. yeah... she's not worth getting to know first or anything. Makes sense. 1
monkey00 Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 yeah... she's not worth getting to know first or anything. Makes sense. Well, you're probably being sarcastic there. For me sex in a relationship is important and healthy even before getting married. And on top of that we went out a couple of times, and I didn't really feel a connection to her. She had to get her sh*t together (career wise and finish school), and she was kind of needy/clingy also. Sorry but I like having my space, and I like women that are independent and have their own interests/hobbies.
FredRutherford Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 Become a Mormon and you'll meet them easily. First time ever I went on a date with a Mormon girl a few weeks ago and found out in shock she was a virgin...she would never put out for me because they don't believe in pre-marital sex! It was a shame...but I had to let her go. Methinks she got the better part of the deal here. You and your impatience to be with someone who actually lives sexually responsible shows us a lot. Someone wanting to hop into bed during one of the early dates doesn't speak well for long-term relationships. You could care less about her boundaries. She's better off by far.
FredRutherford Posted May 22, 2012 Posted May 22, 2012 , you might be almost as bad as guys who are JUST trying to get sex. Not really. He appears to have standards. That grates on many. Am sure he's had many opportunities, as most of us had. Women appear to be much easier these days, so no great accomplishment nailing some woman. You are so focussed on the sexual angle that you are putting that ahead of getting to know a person. Most virgin girls won't like that. In my opinion, a person's sex life is none of your business until you are pretty close. This sounds accurate.
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